The Stress of Inauthenticity

“A person of honor has honorable plans, and his integrity gives him security.” (Isaiah 32:8 TPT)

There are certain television show characters that are painful to watch. One such role is that of Carol Rance on the comedy series Episodes. Carol is a consummate people-pleaser. She dresses impeccably, says whatever people want to hear, and conforms to the expectations of those around her. Carol’s desire for approval and belonging, even at the expense of her authenticity, ultimately leads to a series of false relationships. She craves connection at work, in friendships, in romantic liaisons--but her insincerity results in disconnection. Her self-sabotaging habits prevent her from having what she wants. Alienated from her true self, she seems constantly stressed and under pressure. Even though Carol Rance is a fictional character, I can’t help but feel pity for her. 

The desperation of people-pleasers is painful to witness. The stress of inauthenticity often leads them to feeling anxious, rejected, and insecure. Their cravings for admiration and acceptance make them targets for manipulation. They fall prey to the bait of belonging, easily getting lured into conforming to the standards of others. 

How can anyone really belong when they are disingenuous?

Is it possible to truly respect a fake person? 

The desire for love, acceptance, and respect are universal. Yet, a person who is false cannot be loved for their true self. Acceptance without authenticity is pointless. Insincerity is inherently dishonorable. People of honor remain true to who they are, accept themselves as they are, and present their genuine selves to the world. A life of  integrity and authenticity is a prerequisite to real love, respect, acceptance, security, and peace.