Pretend Connections

“No more lies, no more pretense.” (Ephesians 4:25 MSG)

I just learned that some people buy fake security cameras for their homes. The external casing looks just like the real thing--flashing red lights, wires that protrude from the unit. Some even move back and forth. They are much cheaper than the real ones and easier to install and maintain. However, these pretend cameras are not connected to anything. Although these devices are meant to deter burglars, a trained eye can spot the fakes from the real thing. Proponents of fake cameras claim that they are better than nothing, while critics say they give consumers a false sense of security.

Similarly, there are people who prefer pretend relationships over real ones. Fake commitments require less investment and maintenance. They can look legitimate at first glance. These people hang around when it is convenient or when they have an agenda. They laugh at your jokes and nod their heads as if they are paying attention to you. They wear convincing masks of interest and concern. Those who participate in these artificial alliances claim that they are better than nothing, while those who have experienced real relationships know better. Pretense does not lead to connection. It merely gives you a false sense of belonging and security.

Since fake relationships are not based on honesty, they quickly disintegrate when exposed to uncomfortable truths. People keep up their pretensions to feel good about themselves. If you point out their flaws or hold them accountable, these people disappear from your lives quickly. A crisis will also unmask these counterfeits. When you have been robbed of your dignity, when you have nothing to offer but sorrow and weakness, when there is no audience, only those who are truly committed will remain.