Fake Relatives

“The poor are shunned by all their relatives.” (Proverbs 19:7 NIV)

In Japan, you can rent family members for a price. Actors will play the roles of relatives for a certain number of hours. When I first heard of this practice, I was shocked. Why would anyone pay for a fake family?

I come from a culture that puts great stock in extended family relationships. Weddings and funerals are packed with hundreds of relatives. These gatherings engender an illusion of belonging and connection. At first glance, it looks like one big supportive community, but behind the scenes, there is gossip, backbiting, criticism, lying, envy, competition, struggling for power, manipulation, and drama. Belonging is rationed out to those who are willing to be used. Acceptance is conditional to conformity. Those who have nothing to offer are shunned. Only those who are willing to pay can play this farce.

Fake relatives are similar to fake friends--they show up in your life when it is convenient or beneficial for them. Money is not the only currency in these relational transactions--power, influence, entertainment, status, admiration, assistance, and usefulness are also valued. Oftentimes, people just want an audience for their drama. They need someone to validate their delusions. Those who have difficulty maintaining true relationships often settle for fake ones. Thus, they are willing to pay for fake friends and family.