Love Authentically

“Love others well, and don’t hide behind a mask; love authentically.” (Romans 12:9 MSG)

We live in a world full of superficial busyness, incessant diversions, and insatiable aspirations. This environment becomes a breeding ground for inauthentic, delusional people who are incapable of inner transformation. They don't really change; they just switch costumes/masks. 

Emotional neediness can often be confused with love. Relationships based on similar interests, shared history, or feeling validated can be enjoyable. The desire to belong and be accepted is part of human nature. Unfortunately, these cravings can lead us down distorted paths that lead to dead ends. If you are kind to someone because you want him to like you, or because he makes you feel good about yourself or affirms your worthiness as an individual--the cords that connect you are based on emotional neediness and insecurity. Love requires wanting what is beneficial for the other, even when it isn’t profitable for us. For example, if my best friend were considering moving to a far away country, and I knew this move would be beneficial for her growth--love would allow me to encourage what is best for her, even when it would be a loss for me personally.

Self-awareness and self-acceptance are prerequisites to authentic relationships. Contemplation, honesty, wisdom, transparency, consistency, and devotion are necessary steps to inner growth. Those who hide behind masks are unable to like or accept their true selves. Recognize what is genuine. Don’t accept or distribute anything counterfeit. Build on foundations of truth. Love authentically. 

One Team

“In this new creation life, your nationality makes no difference, or your ethnicity, education, or economic status—they matter nothing. For it is Christ that means everything as he lives in every one of us!” (Colossians 3:11 TPT)

Before he became a pastor, Jake Each was a football player. In a sermon about diversity and connection, Pastor Jake mentioned that he has experienced more unity on football teams than in other areas of his life. Sports teams have a shared identity, mission, and purpose, even though there are a variety of roles and skill sets. Differences in race, nationality, political leanings, religion, socioeconomic status, etc., are pushed aside so that everyone can focus on the success of the team. 

The Bible teaches us that everyone is defined by Christ and included in Christ. As such, we are part of a team with a shared identity, mission, and purpose. Skin color, citizenship, gender, political leanings, religious affiliation, education, economic status--none of these things matter. The same God who created you, created me. We may have different backgrounds, skills, and roles to play, but we are all on one team. We are called to encourage and support each other, to bring out the goodness in one another. For it is Christ that means everything as HE lives in every one of us!

Ride Along

“You have experienced a deepening friendship with the Holy Spirit and have felt his tender affection and mercy.” (Philippians 2:1 TPT)

One of my favorite ways to spend time with my husband is to ride along while he is driving somewhere. Oftentimes there is no real reason for me to join him other than companionship. He doesn’t need me in the passenger seat while he is running errands. However, I enjoy this time alone with him. There are minimal distractions, so we get to talk about all sorts of things. It’s not that I don’t have other things to do, but I set them aside and make this a priority.   

This is what God wants from us too--a deep friendship, the desire to be in His presence, time alone, and communion. He invites me along as He goes about His purposes. He didn’t pick me because of my usefulness or any special attributes. He doesn’t need me. God is perfectly capable of handling everything even if I don’t participate. However, I feel privileged to be included in God’s purposes. Riding along with God prevents me from being able to do my own thing. I usually have a multitude of things I want to accomplish and chores to get done. Yet, I set them all aside and make being with the Lord my priority. 

Heart Surgery

“He has taught you to let go of the lifestyle of the ancient man, the old self - life, which was corrupted by sinful and deceitful desires that spring from delusions. Now it’s time to be made new by every revelation that’s been given to you. And to be transformed as you embrace the glorious Christ-within as your new life and live in union with him! For God has re-created you all over again in his perfect righteousness, and you now belong to him in the realm of true holiness.” (Ephesians 4:22-24 TPT)

Those who have cosmetic surgery may tell the surgeon what they want during a pre-op visit--a certain shape of nose, fat taken out from areas, implants added to other places, etc. However, those who need heart surgery do not direct their surgeon. They don’t go in before the operation and ask for a little adjustment in the valves or a bit of clearing in the arteries. They trust that the surgeon knows what they need better than they do. 

Your old lifestyle was based on delusions. You imagined that life was manageable. You thought you knew what was best and just needed God’s assistance to make some minor cosmetic adjustments here and there. Then, suddenly, you realize your need for deeper transformation. It’s time to be renewed by every revelation that’s been given to you. You submit to a heart-level surgery. You trust God to do what is needed. You do not give Him directions or opinions on how He can make your life better. You simply surrender. And God re-creates you all over again in his perfect righteousness, in true holiness. As you embrace the glorious Christ-within and live in union with Him, you are healed and made whole. 

Caring and Praying

“The person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him. (1 Corinthians 6:17 NLT)

When we pray, we participate with God in His work. We enter into a private space with Jesus and shut the door behind us. This is the time to share our concerns, fears, hopes, questions, gratefulness, and supplications. When we are praying for others, we bring them with us into the Lord’s presence. We submit them to God. Like an assistant who works with a healthcare provider, we become part of the care team. 

Prayer is a form of spiritual care. When we pray, our eyes and ears are opened, our hearts are softened, and we are able to perceive what we couldn’t before. Prayer brings clarity, patience, empathy, love, forgiveness, and wisdom. The more we pray, the more we become invested. It is impossible to continually pray for someone and not care about them. As we submit our concerns to God and wait with expectation, we learn to depend on Him rather than on our own resources. We grow in intimacy and trust, joined in one spirit with the Lord.

Micro-Choices

“They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers.” (Acts 2:42 MSG)

During a wedding, the bride and groom make a life-time commitment to each other. They promise to love and cherish each other, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health. These vows are validated or undermined by the thousands of micro-choices they make for the rest of their time together. Every day, they get to decide whether to treat each other with respect, kindness, honesty, and appreciation. Thoughts, tones, words, body language, behavior--all convey devotion or the lack of it.  When a couple gets divorced, most everyone points to the macro-flaws--infidelity, ideological differences, addiction, etc. Yet, it’s the commonplace cracks, which multiply over time, that truly cause the breach.  

Many of us, at some point in our lives, make a commitment to God. Depending on our religious background, we may have different terms and ceremonies that mark this moment. Our devotion is proved or disproved by the thousands of micro-choices we make in our day-to-day living--our attitudes, our thoughts, our responses, our actions. It’s the commonplace details, the consistent dedication, and the attentive discipline that sustains our commitment to the Lord.

 “Our work as God’s servants gets validated—or not—in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly . . . in hard times, tough times, bad times.” (2 Corinthians 6:4 MSG)

Worthiness and Validation

The words of the godly are a life-giving fountain; the words of the wicked conceal violent intentions. (Proverbs 10:11 NLT)

The older I get, the more selective I have become about investments of time and energy. I know what is important to me: authenticity, vulnerability, honesty, consistency, self-awareness, kindness, and faith. AND, I know what I cannot tolerate: hypocrisy, arrogance, manipulation, dishonesty, ostentation, and exploitation. No matter how attentive or flattering someone is to me, I cannot overlook these deficiencies. Having clear priorities helps me winnow the wheat from the chaff. 

Scripture teaches us that the words of the godly are life-giving, while the words of the wicked conceal violent intentions. Religiosity is not equivalent to  godliness. How can we differentiate between those who have sincere motives and those who are disingenuous?

Seek out people with values, not merely those who validate you. Invest in those who are inherently good over those who make you feel good. These people are rare, so it will take some searching. Once you find them, stay close and learn from their example. Be the kind of person who is life-giving and encouraging. Reach out and extend a hand to those who are on the same journey. Lead others to growth and strength without expectations of personal gain. 

Be Brave

“Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!” (Psalm 31:24 ESV)

Strength training uses resistance to build muscle and anaerobic endurance. You can start by using your own body weight to do exercises.  Adding external weights or resistance bands can improve your training. Gradually increase the amount of weights and number of repetitions to grow in strength.

Courage, like strength, is developed through deliberate action. It is not a feeling that appears first before we make a move. Braving the unknown is exertional work. Every step we take out of our comfort zones, through the quagmire of fear, leads to growth. It’s pushing through the resistance that develops courage. 

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control]. (2 Timothy 1:7 AMP)

Timidity keeps us stuck in weakness. We take an inventory of our insufficiencies and remain paralyzed by fear. Faith can give us the impetus to take the first step forward. We can count on God to provide us with power, encouragement, and personal discipline.

Be Brave

Be Strong

Don’t Give up

Expect God

Absorbing Christ

“May you be infused with strength and purity, filled with confidence in the presence of God...” (1 Thessalonians 3:13 MSG) 

Jasmine tea is made by placing dried tea leaves in layers next to fresh jasmine blossoms. Once the scent of the flowers has been imparted to the tea leaves, the flowers are separated. The longer the tea leaves remain in proximity to the flowers, the more aromatic they become. The fragrance becomes part of the inherent flavor of the tea. In the best jasmine teas, any trace of bitterness and astringency is replaced by the refreshing sweetness of the flowers. 

Like tea leaves near jasmine, we are called to be in God’s presence. This requires intentionality and time. First of all, we must remain adjacent to Christ. This means we may have to forgo other company. Next, we have to patiently wait, allowing the Spirit of God to transform us. The closer we are, the longer we absorb His essence, the more Christ-like we become. Eventually, strength and purity replace all traces of bitterness and astringency that we may harbor. We are now ready to be poured out for others, so they may taste the goodness of God. 

Holiday Traditions

“They pretend to worship me, but their worship is nothing more than the empty traditions of men.” (Matthew 15:9 TPT)

I’m already seeing Christmas stuff in some stores. This reminds me of how warped our society can be about holiday traditions. There are some Christians who insist that there is a ‘war on Christmas’ because some businesses have chosen inclusive phrases that acknowledge that there are other holidays in December. I am not sure how a picture of Santa Claus with the words ‘Ho, Ho, Ho’ is any more acceptable than the phrase ‘Happy Holidays’ imprinted on a card or a cup. 

Holiday traditions such as decorations, cards, gifts, and food may bring joy and feelings of camaraderie, but they bring us no closer to God. Pretending to worship the Lord while worshiping empty human traditions is hypocrisy. Neither religiosity nor ritual behavior equals holiness. As Christians, we need to focus more on putting Christ first in every day. If intimacy with Christ is our goal, then we must pursue a life aligned with His purpose, suffused with  trust, and devoted to truth. 

What Now?

“Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” (Exodus 4:12 NLT)

Moses noticed the heavy burdens of the Israelites. He heard God’s call to help the vulnerable. Yet, Moses was reluctant to step forward and speak up for the powerless. He felt ill-equipped. He didn’t know what to say or do to change entrenched cultural attitudes. Self-doubt and fear held him back. BUT God called Moses out on his excuses and objections. HE told Moses to quit stalling and get going. God would provide the right words, contacts, and directions at each step. 

The scapegoating of immigrants for all of society’s current problems, the endemic prejudice against people of color, and the indifference of the privileged to the plight of the marginalized--is hard to ignore. Yet, I am reluctant to stick my neck out and become a target for hate. My desire for comfort and security makes me want to keep my head down and look away--to be a model citizen who never challenges the system. I am aware that my complacency makes me a complicit participant in society’s evils, an accessory to the crime. 

Self-doubt and fear, camouflaged as humility, hold me back from speaking out against injustice. I hear a voice deep within me, calling me to set aside my excuses, to quit stalling and get moving. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do as one individual. I am ill-equipped and powerless against the system. BUT GOD is not. 

Lord, you know that I lack courage. Honestly, I wish You would bug someone else about all of this and leave me alone! However, I am sure You have your reasons. I shall trust You to provide me with whatever is needed to participate in Your plan.

From Apathy to Empathy

“Years later, after Moses had grown up, he went out to his own people, and took notice of their heavy burdens. He saw an Egyptian beating up a Hebrew, one of his own people.” (Exodus 2:11 ISV)

Moses witnessed the atrocities committed against the Israelites. He could have continued to ignore it. After all, it didn’t affect him directly. He was assimilated and accepted by the privileged class. But something in Moses changed. He grew up. He took notice of the injustice. He woke up from the apathy of affluence and felt empathy toward the oppressed.  

We see images of injustice all around us. Most of us feel a tug in our hearts when witnessing suffering, but we shrug it off. We move on to our own concerns, convinced that we are powerless against the system. We avert our eyes and minds from the plight of the marginalized, occupying ourselves with distractions. 

What causes a person to shift from indifference to compassion? The Spirit of God opens our eyes and transforms our hearts. We cannot unsee what we have seen through God’s eyes. Neglecting the vulnerable and minding our own business is no longer an option. Grace replaces apathy. As we conform to Christ’s likeness, we learn to be merciful. We see ourselves in the displaced immigrant and the suffering child. Radical compassion takes hold and doesn’t let go. 

Turning Point

“Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless.” (Isaiah 1:17 NIV)

I saw a video today that moved me profoundly. A scared little girl, whose father is being detained by immigration officials, spills all her thoughts and emotions while sobbing uncontrollably. She voices what millions of immigrants in the U.S. are feeling--terrified, powerless, oppressed, unworthy.

The current persecution of immigrants, whether legal or illegal, has to be shocking to every decent human being. How can anyone ignore or justify treating others as subhuman? There has to be a turning point soon. As Winston Churchill said: “You can always count on Americans to do the right thing--after they’ve tried everything else.” I believe that what is represented by this period in history is an anomaly, that America is better than this. It has to be! 

During the Civil Rights Movement, certain images of injustice--like the police turning dogs and fire hoses on protestors and businesses that refused to serve people of color--turned public opinion. The laws that supported segregation were changed, because the majority of voters realized that they were inhumane. I pray that racialized immigration policies will soon be a thing of the past. I hope that we will learn to do right, seek justice, defend the oppressed, and take up the cause of the powerless. 

Repudiating Grace

“Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God’s grace.” (Galatians 2:21 MSG)

Religion can provide societies with a set of moral principles which lead to orderly citizens. Rules and regulations are solid tools for community building. Peer-pleasing, appearing righteous, and wanting to fit in can all be powerful motives to identify with a particular religion.  Traditions can be good, but they don’t bring us any closer to God. 

A personal relationship with God is built on trust, love, and surrender. It is neither ego-centered nor other-centered; Christ becomes central. Real intimacy is often private. To know and be known--that is the only goal. We recognize that we are loved and accepted despite our unworthiness. A grace-based faith is saturated with gratitude, adoration, and devotion. To go back to an old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in our relationship with God. Let us not repudiate God’s grace!

The Power of Bold Faith

Now faith brings our hopes into reality and becomes the foundation needed to acquire the things we long for. It is all the evidence required to prove what is still unseen. (Hebrews 11:1 TPT) 

I worked in a laboratory for several years. I spent my days peering through a microscope, analyzing human chromosomes. I had been trained to culture and stain specimens properly, so that the cells revealed their chromosomal structure. I also had access to powerful microscopes that allowed me to see details that most people never get to see. I no longer work in a lab, so I don’t have this privilege anymore. However, I know that all humans have chromosomes in their cells. I don’t have to see your blood under a microscope to assure you of this fact. It may be difficult for those who have never had my work experience to be as sure of this truth. Second-hand information cannot imbue the same level of certainty as first-hand knowledge .

Faith reveals that which is invisible to the naked eye. It provides supernatural magnification, bringing Christ and His power into focus. Faith is non-transferable; each person must experience it for himself. Second-hand faith does not provide the same conviction as first-hand awareness. The experience of personal faith grants the assurance of God’s presence; it doesn’t guarantee that everything will work out according to our wishes. Yet, there is power in bold trust. Faith gives us the confidence to transfer all our weight onto the Lord, knowing that He is dependable and capable. 

Check Your Form

“Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don’t drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. (2 Corinthians 13:5-9 MSG)

Long distance runners can lose proper form when they are tired. Their shoulders slump, their cadence decreases--which lead to a shuffling gait. Good athletes recognize when this happens and correct their form. They intentionally straighten their crumpled torso, pull their shoulders back, and push off with their toes. This requires focus and discipline. 

The faith journey requires endurance and focus. In the beginning, we are all excited and eager. However, it’s natural to feel fatigued as time goes by. Our trust weakens, hope crumbles, and convictions slacken. As followers of Christ, we cannot drift along mindlessly, taking everything for granted.  We must test ourselves to make sure we are solid in faith. We have to give ourselves regular checkups and correct our form when necessary. Harness every ounce of wonder, trust, devotion, discipline, steadfastness, and virtue. Fight the good fight. Finish strong. 

Caretaking Pervert

“Mary sat down attentively before the Master, absorbing every revelation he shared. But Martha became exasperated by finishing the numerous household chores in preparation for her guests, so she interrupted Jesus and said, “Lord, don’t you think it’s unfair that my sister left me to do all the work by myself? You should tell her to get up and help me.” (Luke 10:39-40 TPT)

Author and therapist Melody Beattie describes caretaking as a symptom of codependency. Caretakers seek out people to rescue. Being recognized as useful and helpful raises their self-esteem. Unfortunately, this requires diminishing the person they are taking care of as helpless, incompetent, or incapable. 

“Caretaking perverts Biblical messages about giving, loving, and helping.” (Melody Beattie, Codependent No More)

Caretaking perverts are addicted to feeling needed and appreciated. Their giving is motivated by their desire to feel significant, dutiful, and righteous. They feel peeved when those whom they help do not acknowledge their usefulness. This leads to resentment. 

“The Lord answered her, ‘Martha, my beloved Martha. Why are you upset and troubled, pulled away by all these many distractions? Are they really that important? Mary has discovered the one thing most important by choosing to sit at my feet. She is undistracted, and I won’t take this privilege from her.’” (Luke 10:41-42 TPT)

Caretaking can become a distraction, pulling us away from our true calling. It might make us feel important temporarily, but the fix doesn’t last long. Our significance does not come from our usefulness. Our worthiness is inherent. Christ is with us and within us. 

Operating Manuals

“You were taught to change the way you were living. The person you used to be will ruin you through desires that deceive you.” (Ephesians 4:22 GWT)

In my home, I have a large, plastic box where I keep paper operating manuals that come with all the electronics I have purchased. It’s a habit I started back before everything was online. These manuals can be useful when you need to assemble, operate, clean, and troubleshoot an appliance. Over the years, I have disposed of many coffee makers, toasters, stereos, phones, TVs, lawn mowers, etc. However, I have not taken the time to clean out the corresponding manuals from the box.  

Similarly, I have several decades of old ‘operating manuals’ stuffed in my head. These messages were useful once during different phases of my life. I am no longer the same person I used to be. I have outgrown many of the desires and delusions of youth. However, I have not discarded the obsolete tapes--negative thoughts, self-limiting fears, worries, hangups, and rules which were part of my old life. It’s time to go through the dusty box and dispose of that which is no longer relevant or productive. It’s time to move forward, to embrace new directions, to grow in the realm of truth. 

“Now it’s time to be made new by every revelation that’s been given to you.” (Ephesians 4:23 TPT)

Pause in His Presence

“Let the dawning day bring me revelation of your tender, unfailing love. Give me light for my path and teach me, for I trust in you.” (Psalm 143:8 TPT)

Mornings, before the day’s distractions take hold of our minds, is the ideal time to start paying attention. God’s revelations are clear and fresh. We are able to listen intelligently when our minds are uncluttered. Thus, make soaking in God’s presence your first job, your primary preoccupation. Present your plans before Him. Surrender your burdens and concerns. Seek His guidance on everything. Wait for directions. Trust that God is present, available, dependable, and gracious. 

“Now I’m reaching out to you, thirsting for you, like the dry, cracked ground thirsts for rain. Pause in his presence.” (Psalm 143:6 TPT)

Selah: pause in HIS presence. 

Shush the agitating voice within you that is constantly planning, comparing, and measuring productivity. Ignore the distractions that pop up before you. Yes, there is much  to do and very little time left. That is why it is important to prioritize and be attentive. 

When our soul is still, we sense God’s presence. We realize how desperately we need Him, and nothing else will satisfy our longing. Like dry, cracked ground thirsts for water, we wait to feel His refreshing love and grace upon us. He is all we need.

“Your gracious Spirit is all I need, so lead me on good paths that are pleasing to you, my one and only God!” (Psalm 143:10 TPT)

Lighting Up the Darkness

"If only my life could be like it used to be, in the days when God watched over me, when he made his lamp shine on my head, when I walked through the dark in his light.” (Job 29:2-3 GWT)

I was meeting a friend to run early one morning. It was still dark outside, and there were no street lights nearby. Luckily, I had a headlamp, but she didn’t have one. Now, two lights would have been better than one, but sharing my light didn’t diminish it in anyway. I pointed my headlamp down toward our feet. We could only see a few steps ahead. My friend stayed close, matching my pace. That little light illuminated our path just enough to keep us both from tripping and falling in the dark. 

I have felt God’s light shine upon my head. I have experienced the peace of Divine protection, guidance, and presence. I can only see a few steps ahead, but I am always glad to share the light with others. For I have experienced seasons of utter darkness, when God seems to have withdrawn His light from me. During these times of confusion, I have relied on faithful companions to share their lamps of trust. I stayed close to them and followed their steps. Their wisdom and trust have guided me when my own faith was nonexistent. I am glad to carry the light now, grateful for every insight that I get to share. 

“Lead, Kindly Light, amidst the encircling gloom,

Lead Thou me on!

The night is dark, and I am far from home,

Lead Thou me on!

Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see

The distant scene; one step enough for me.” (Hymn by John Henry Newman)

Weight Lifting

“For you know that when your faith is tested it stirs up power within you to endure all things. And then as your endurance grows even stronger it will release perfection into every part of your being until there is nothing missing and nothing lacking.” (James 1:3-4 TPT)

This morning I woke up early for a trail run. I thought about all the reasons why this workout was going to be hard: I had done several intense runs in the last few days and my legs were sore, I had not slept well, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to keep up with the other runners, etc. All of my excuses were legitimate, but they were not going to help me. I needed a different paradigm. I thought about a friend who does weightlifting. She intentionally adds heavy metal plates to the bar she is lifting. I decided to think of my burdens as weight plates. This allowed me to acknowledge that each of these factors added a degree of difficulty to what I was doing. I was choosing to do hard things, knowing each layer of resistance would make me tougher. 

When the burdens of life get to be overwhelming, our natural instinct is to become discouraged. The weight we carry is legitimate. However, dwelling on their heaviness is unproductive. We need to see each of these trials as weight plates that we add to our workout. When our faith is tested, it stirs up power within us to endure all things. And, as our endurance grows even stronger, it will release perfection into every part of our being. 

Reminders of God

“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the LORD has helped us.’” (1 Samuel 7:12 NIV)

Samuel raised up a stone and named it Ebenezer. It was a monument to God’s providence and protection. Joshua and Jacob also used stones to memorialize the Lord’s faithfulness. These stones became part of their testimony--of how God showed up and helped. The stories of these monuments continue to inspire and encourage us. 

My life story is also interspersed with reminders of God’s presence and faithfulness. During monumental experiences, the Lord has guided and comforted me through specific Bible verses, songs, or symbols. Even years later, I am filled with gratitude and encouragement when I read these verses, hear these songs, or see these symbols. These Ebenezer moments have become part of my testimony: Thus far the Lord has helped me. I can count on Him to continue to take care of me. 

“Cypress trees will grow where now there are briers; myrtle trees will come up in place of thorns. This will be a sign that will last forever, a reminder of what I, the LORD, have done." (Isaiah 55:13 GNT)