End of Ourselves

Employers tend to hire talented, educated, attractive, personable, self-assured people to represent their company. They want humans with resources. They are not looking for washed-up people who have reached the end of their rope.

However, God is looking for people who are empty, who have reached rock-bottom.

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.” (Matthew 5:3 MSG)

We imagine that God would prefer talented people. We say things like, “I want to use my talents and resources to bring glory to God.” Just think about how silly that sounds. It’s like a child offering to help with Thanksgiving dinner by baking cookies in her easy-bake oven. Sure, the parent might appreciate the thought behind it and put the cookies out on the table to humor the child. Yet, I doubt that any mom is counting on those cookies to complete the meal.

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” (Mark 10:25 NLT)

It’s easier for God to use those who are lacking resources. They are more likely to be meek and humble. They are moldable, trainable, impressionable. God prefers those who have come to the end of themselves over those who are full of themselves. This is why it’s difficult for a person who is rich in resources to enter God’s sphere of influence.

Soul Train

“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?” (Matt. 16:26 ESV)

I’ve been thinking of the word ‘profit’ lately. If I invest my time, money, or energy into some project, what is the profit margin? Are the returns worth it after I deduct the hassle factor? What is the risk/rewards ratio?

The soul has no currency. It’s hard to measure its growth in terms of profit and gain. If we have been disconnected from our souls for a while, we lose the ability to monitor its well-being.

There are certain forms of investing that are soul-nourishing and others that are not. Frequently I invest in ways that don’t make much monetary sense. However, it feels right to me. Other times, I have gotten caught up in societal pressures and blindly followed others. I end up feeling like a locomotive, going full steam, but unhooked from its soul.

In our pursuit for profit/gain, frequently we lose our authentic selves. To the rest of the world, we may look like we have accomplished a lot. Yet, we are like a box that has made it across several transatlantic flights, but lost its contents. We feel dis-content, empty.

The best way to live authentically is to always consider your soul first. This might seem inefficient to the rest of the world, and you might be perceived as unambitious or just plain stupid. Even if it leads to loss in wealth, prestige, or power, make choices that nourish and strengthen your soul. Hook the soul train to your engine first, instead of relegating it to the end of the line.

Protecting Each Other

I have some friends who own horses. Recently, one of their mares got badly bruised protecting another mare from a male horse. I’ve heard of animals shielding their young, but I was a bit surprised that an animal would put herself in danger to protect a friend.

Humans are separated from the ‘lower animals’ by their ability to reason, to have empathy, and to have compassion. Yet, most of the time, we are hesitant to put ourselves in harm’s way for anyone outside our family. If a friend is in trouble, we might offer to pray for them, bake a casserole, or distract them by taking them out. However, we are reluctant to jeopardize our friendship by getting too involved. If a friend is having marital issues, financial problems, or living in an unhealthy situation, how many of us would be willing to get bloodied or bruised trying to protect her? True, most of the time our friends don’t want us to get involved. They want to fight their own battles and not be indebted to anyone.

I don’t appreciate people outside my inner circle telling me how to live my life. However, I routinely ask my close friends to look after me, to point out when I veer off course. I seek their advice concerning marriage, finances, parenting…pretty much everything. Ok, so I might not always listen to their advice…at least not right away, but I invite them to be involved. I ask them to protect me from myself.
 
I’m glad that my friends’ horses didn’t have the ‘reasoning power’ that we as humans have. Otherwise, one mare would have decided that it’s none of her business to get involved in a lover’s spat, and the other mare would have insisted that she can take care of herself. Perhaps these animals could teach us a thing or two…

PraiseBook

I rarely post anything on Facebook, except pictures of my dog. It’s too public. I prefer to share my life and thoughts with only my real friends.

I wish we could have a PraiseBook instead of Facebook, where everyone daily updates what they want to praise God about!

“Publish his glorious deeds among the nations.
Tell everyone about the amazing things HE does.
Great is the LORD! He is most worthy of praise!
Recognize the Lord;
recognize that the Lord is glorious and strong.
Give to the Lord the glory he deserves!” (Ps. 96:3-4, 7-8 NLT)

First, we must recognize the Lord’s maneuvering in our day. Next, we must acknowledge God’s power by giving HIM glory instead of using every opportunity as a platform for self-promotion and self-validation.

If there were a PraiseBook, I would have so much to post. I would have to limit myself, or else people would get sick of hearing about all the great things the Lord has done. Just in the last 24 hrs, here are some of the glorious ways that God has managed my life: He has kept me and my family alive and safe, answered prayer, given me insights, nudged me to apologize for things I’ve said, reminded me to be patient, shown me marvelous things in nature…

What amazing things has God orchestrated in your life lately?

(I'm actually thinking about creating a PraiseBook group within Facebook. If you'd like to be invited, let me know. It will be a secret group, so no one outside the group will be able to see any of your posts)

Chicken or Falcon?

One of my friends raises chickens in her backyard. Recently, 3 of her chickens have started flying the coop. They fly over the 6-foot fence and then walk around right outside the fence, where they get chased by the family dog. Several times a day, my friend goes out there and walks them back in to the fenced enclosure. She says it’s just a matter of days before either the dogs get them or they end up as her family’s dinner!

Why these same three chickens keep flying out is a mystery to me. They are all the same breed, so they must do it because they are able to fly better than the others. They get into trouble because they can? I wonder if the other chickens are content to stay in the enclosure. Do they envy the flying chickens? Or do they shake their heads at these comrades who keep getting chased by dogs outside the coop? How come these chickens only fly out, but can’t seem to figure out how to fly back in?
 
I can identify with the non-flying chickens. I’m content to stay in my home and stick to my familiar routine. I avoid trying new things that feel risky.

Yet, deep inside, I have this nagging feeling that I am not really a chicken, but a falcon. I’ve always admired these petite, intelligent birds for their ability to change directions quickly, while flying at high speeds. These birds are highly trainable, and their extraordinary vision has made them useful to humans as hunting companions. Falcons can be tamed, but they are never domesticated to the extent that chickens are. Falcons always retain a sense that they are meant to soar in the highest heavens, unlike chickens who are content to merely scratch the surface of the earth.
 
If I’m meant to soar, I’d rather be a falcon than an eagle. Eagles may be big, strong, independent, and courageous. However, they are untamable, un-trainable, and rarely submit to others. I don’t want to be a flying chicken that gets eaten. I don’t want to be a wild, fiercely independent eagle. I want to be a like a falcon--trainable, tamable, useful, sharp-sighted, intelligent, able to maneuver turns efficiently, comfortable in the high places, yet able to dive down to earth effortlessly.

Olympic Lessons

Over the last few weeks, we’ve been watching the Olympics on TV. I’m inspired by the discipline and attitude of most of the athletes. They have reminded me about pushing myself to excel, to get up and try again when I fall, to work through pain, and that fluorescent yellow running shoes make everyone run faster ;-)

I also learned a new word during these Olympics--Slipstreaming. When swimming long distances in open water, athletes like to conserve energy by swimming in another’s wake. Similarly, cyclists find it easier to ride in the draft of another rider. Sometimes teammates take turns riding lead to conserve energy till the very end. Migratory birds, truck drivers, and race car drivers, all use slipstreaming to conserve energy or fuel.

If we could slipstream behind Jesus--swim in His wake, ride in His draft--we wouldn’t get exhausted. This involves always following closely behind Jesus and keeping our eyes on His movements, with just an occasional glance at the road ahead.

Rescue

“The Lord says, ‘I will rescue those who love me.
I will protect those who trust in my name.
When they call on me, I will answer;
I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them.”
(Ps. 91:14-15 NLT)

As I read these verses, I wondered: Why is the rescue conditional? Why does it say that we can only be rescued, if we love and trust the Lord?

I imagine a drowning victim thrashing about in the water…I visualize someone jumping in to rescue her. This panic-stricken victim is much more likely to stay calm if she loves and trusts the rescuer.

Why does the Lord say, I will be with them in trouble?

Why won’t He just get me out of the trouble immediately?

Maybe, He is waiting for me to calm down. Maybe, He needs to get a secure grip on me. Maybe, He is waiting for the right current or tide. Meanwhile, He stays with me in the trouble, until the conditions are favorable for rescue.

Promised Land

“By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God's call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home. When he left he had no idea where he was going. By an act of faith he lived in the country promised him, lived as a stranger camping in tents. Isaac and Jacob did the same, living under the same promise. Abraham did it by keeping his eye on an unseen city with real, eternal foundations—the City designed and built by God.” (Hebrews 11:8-10 MSG)

My son is reading an excerpt from City of God, by Augustine. He reads it out loud, while I listen. Augustine packs a lot of wisdom into each line, so we pause and dissect each paragraph as we go.
 
I won’t attempt to summarize or analyze Augustine’s thoughts in a few lines. But I will just mention one concept that I’ve been thinking about. Augustine contrasts the City of God with the City of Man--a God-centered life vs. a self-centered life.

The Israelites (Abraham’s descendants) wandered in the desert for years before they reached the Promised land.

My son shows a lot of promise and potential. Sometimes I get discouraged as I watch him wandering around in the spiritual desert.

Yet, I cling to the assurance that we will all reach the Promised Land. There will be a time when we will fulfill our potential to live a God-centered life in the City of God.

Moral Burdens

Recently, we watched The Descendants on DVD. Like many other movies, it led to several deep conversations between my husband and me. I don’t want to spoil the movie for those who haven’t seen it yet, so I won’t mention any specifics.

One of the topics we discussed after the movie was the concept of moral obligations or responsibilities. Here are some examples-- We believe it’s our responsibility to take care of our dog. However, we don’t feel a moral obligation to feed every stray cat in the neighborhood, although we admire neighbors who do. We hear about children suffering in Africa, and we feel sad, but not responsible for their care. We notice some friends are having marital issues, yet we don’t feel it’s our place to get involved.

We decided there has to be a phrase for doing the right thing without feeling like it’s an obligation or responsibility. After some thought, I decided that what I feel in most of these situations is a moral burden, a heaviness of conscience to do the right thing. It’s a bit more intense than just being humane, yet not to the level of feeling that it’s my responsibility.

I feel a moral burden to take care of those who are suffering. This may sound noble and altruistic at first, but there is a downside. It has caused a few of my friends to hide their problems from me, because they know I’ll carry around burdens that I cannot solve. I’ve also heard from a few of them that they sometimes feel like one of my “projects”. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by C.S. Lewis:
“She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.” (from The Screwtape Letters)

Nowadays, like a passenger at the airport baggage claim, I try to only pick up bags with my name on them. And even these burdens that are mine to carry, I hand over to God, who is infinitely stronger and more able than I am.

“Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” (Ps. 55:22 NLT)
 

Channeling Prayer

“Prayerful Action does not aim to inform God about what God does not know. It seeks to clarify and direct our own goals and desires, and ask for God’s help in seeing them carried out. It does not increase God’s love and compassion, but it channels it in particular ways, as a strengthening of our love and compassion that would not have occurred without that opening of the heart to God which invites God to act in and through us and our thoughts and wishes.” (from--The Philosopher and the Gospels, by Keith Ward)

In the summer months, our electric bill is high. In our attempt to conserve energy, we close vents and doors in the less-used rooms of our house. This allows more cool air to flow into the high traffic areas of our home.

God’s power is unlimited, but our ducts are only so big. Active prayer involves closing vents and doors to certain rooms of our life, while completely opening up access to other areas. This means focusing on certain goals, while temporarily closing the door to other desires. This channels God’s energy through us into areas of highest need. Active prayer focuses our attention, strengthens our resolve, and increases the flow of grace, love and compassion.

Unleash the Outcome

“Action carried out in conscious dependence on God is prayer…Persistent prayer is not badgering God. It is refusing to give in to despair, being persistent in goodness, believing that our actions will not be in vain, and asking for God’s help in what we do, without worrying about the observable success or failure of our actions.” (from--The Philosopher and the Gospels, by Keith Ward)

When I walk our dog around our neighborhood, I usually have her on a leash. If I did not, she would chase after rabbits and run into other people’s yards, etc. When we take our dog out to our farmland, we let her run off-leash. She runs and sniffs to her heart’s content while we walk around.

Prayer is actively depending on God without worrying about the outcome. It involves letting go of our expectations. Our hopes, as well as our fears, have to be unleashed. It is not passive resignation. It is active trust and reliance on God. We walk in faith, while we release our prayers out into open fields, knowing that God is in complete control of the outcome.

“Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” (Philippians 4:6 MSG)

Yo-Yo Trusting

We’re all familiar with yo-yo dieting, where one diets and exercises for a few weeks, and then reverts back to old habits and gains all the weight back. Yo-yo dieting is harmful to our metabolism.

I have a habit of yo-yo trusting. For a while, I live trusting God, surrendered to His will. Then I fall back into my control-freak mode and feel like I’ve got to handle everything myself. This up-and-down trust/fear cycle is detrimental to my soul.

I avoid fad diets because they are unsustainable in the long run. As long as I am +/- 5lbs from my ideal weight, I eat what I want. But, once I get beyond those boundaries, I stop everything, and pay attention. I try to get back to my safety zone as soon as possible.

I wish there were a similar way to know when I am outside the boundaries of trust. I wish there where a scale that I could get on and measure daily trust levels.

When we go swimming in open waters, there are usually floating buoys that show designated swimming areas. If we accidentally swim past this area, the lifeguard will blow the whistle to alert us, and we get back as quickly as possible. In the same way, there are some signs that mark the edge of the trust zone. When we notice that we have been feeling anxious, worried, fearful, or panicky for more than a few days, we know we’ve wandered farther than we should. We have willfully left the designated trust zone, where our Lifeguard watches over our safety. It’s time to pay attention, turn around, and swim back.

How Ruts Become Traps

I’m going through Psalm 91, one of my favorites, reading and meditating on one verse per day.

“For He will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease.” (Ps. 91:3 NLT)

This verse got me thinking about hidden traps. It usually starts with a habit, a routine. We fall into a rut. We follow this pattern of living or attitude for a while. Before long, we are stuck. The rut becomes a deep trap that we have dug by ourselves, climbed into, and lain down in.

The rut of busyness becomes the trap of anxiety; the rut of procrastination leads into the trap of despair; the rut of insecurity turns into the trap of fear. These destructive traps that we voluntarily fall into have long-term ramifications.

Let’s just take procrastination as an example. It seems like a harmless habit. I put off a lot of things this summer. I had lots of important things that I needed to do, like checking email, face book, writing blog posts, etc. So, I put off preparing for school. When school started, I felt a sense of despair. I felt like giving up, overwhelmed by all the tasks in front of me. The little rut that I fell into became a trap that I now had difficulty climbing out of.

Lord, rescue us from our self-created ruts. Protect us from self-destructive traps.

Best Places to Retire

Although we are far from retirement age, my husband and I like to dream about where we would like to live when that time comes. We read articles that talk about the latest retirement hot-spots and discuss the pros and cons of each. Most of these articles mention towns that have similar characteristics: a nice climate, learning opportunities, recreational activities, access to health care, low cost of living, low crime rate, etc.

Ideas about retirement have changed. It used to be that people were expected to take it easy when they retired: maybe play some golf, clip some coupons, spend some time with the grandkids, and play scrabble at the senior center. Now it seems that you are expected to be hiking, biking, kayaking, and zip-lining when you retire! Sounds exhausting, if you ask me!

My idea of retirement is finally being free of the need to perform to the world’s expectations. To find rest, peace, and contentment. I would rather have loved ones around me than sandy beaches…the warmth of good friends nearby, than tropical weather. Now, if I could have it all--family and friends, all living on the Big Island of Hawaii--I’d be cool with that too.

I’ve come to the conclusion that what I want is to be surrounded by love, stability, and security. What I want is Paradise. I was reminded of this when I read the following verse:

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High,
Will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
He is my God, and I trust Him.” (Ps. 91:1-2 NLT)

Smartphones

I’ve had a smartphone for about 2 years now. At first, I missed my old, simple, clam-shell phone. For one thing, it didn’t act like it was smarter than me, and it was small enough to fit into any pocket. It took me months to get used to my large smartphone with its touch-screen, internet, built in GPS, and all the other apps. I used to make calls and occasionally check email, but refused to be a smartphone addict and wait outside buildings with the smokers, trying to get reception. I used my phone minimally.

That is, until I discovered this new app called “Myfitnesspal”. This amazing app lets you scan barcodes of foods and keeps track of calories, fat, protein, and weight. Or you can just put in the ingredients of whatever you are cooking, and it adds it all up and remembers that meal for the future. I wish someone had told me about this months ago. I can’t believe I had access to this all along, but never used it. Now I’m hooked on my smartphone.

There are aspects of my faith that I don’t use fully. I have access to the Holy Spirit and all His power and wisdom. However, He doesn’t fit into my pocket easily. Plus, I have to acknowledge that He is smarter than me. So I’m reluctant to be dependent on the Holy Spirit. However, I suspect that one of these days, I will discover something new as I continue exploring my faith. And then I will wonder how I got along all this time without it.

My Green Tomatoes (The Sequel)

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my tomato plant and how it bore fruit. Well, here is an update on that. The plant has grown, and there are a lot of tomatoes, but they are all green. I keep going out there to pick tomatoes for lunch, and I come back in empty-handed. So, I called my gardening consultant, JW, and she diagnosed the problem. I was supposed to provide support for the plant by staking it. The weight of the tomatoes is dragging the plant down. They are too close to the ground. They need to be held up to the light to ripen.

I went out and tried to stake my tomato plants. They were already too big for the traditional tomato cages. I ended up tying them to upright posts.

This got me thinking about the importance of a support system. We may grow and bear fruit, yet remain green. It is our support system that holds us up to the light, enabling us to mature and become useful.

I have a group of family and friends who hold me up to the light. Occasionally I feel caged in and held back by these upright individuals. Some days I just want to drag on the ground. Sometimes I just want to grow wild, in every direction, without restriction.

However, I’ve experienced the drawbacks of trying to bolster myself. I need guidance and people to lean on. I cannot bear the weight of this life without loved ones to hold me up. I cannot ripen, reach my full potential, be beneficial, without support.

The Beginning of the End

Today is the 1^st day of the our last year of home-schooling. My son has been home-schooled since kindergarten. Today, he starts his senior year.

Once upon a time, when my husband and I first heard of home-schooling, we shrugged it off as an aberrant phenomenon. So, when we started home-schooling our son, we were as uneasy about this new venture as the rest of our family and friends.

Every year, I get nervous on the first day of school. I feel unsure about the curriculum, the schedule, the paper work, and my ability to toggle between the roles of teacher/mom. And every year, I remind myself of the advice that a veteran home-schooling mom gave me 12 years ago: “When your back is against the wall, call out to Jesus.” And I have followed this advice.

When the Israelites were stuck between the Red Sea and their Egyptian enemies, Moses said to them:
“Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm… Then Moses raised his hand over the sea, and the Lord opened up a path through the water with a strong east wind. The wind blew all that night, turning the seabed into dry land. So the people of Israel walked through the middle of the sea on dry ground, with walls of water on each side! (Exodus 14:13-14, 21-22 NLT)

When I feel inadequate, scared, frustrated, panicky, exhausted, or brain-dead, I call out to the Lord. I can identify with Moses. Convincing an apathetic, recalcitrant, hormonal teenager to tackle difficult subjects is no easy task. Yet, the Lord has helped us navigate the Red Sea of chemistry, Kierkegaard, pre-Calculus and statistics.

I have learned a lot of things in the last 12 years of home-schooling my son. I’ve learned to depend on the Lord, to stay calm, and to look to Him expectantly. I’ve learned not to focus on the challenges, but on God’s power.

Humility

Humility must lie between the extremes of arrogant pride and servile self-deprecation.” (from The Philosopher and the Gospels, by Keith Ward)

We’ve all met individuals from both these extremes. On one side of the spectrum are arrogant, overbearing people who ridicule others. On the other side are people who belittle and undervalue themselves constantly. Neither self-promotion nor self-flagellation is honorable.

The Arrogance/Self-deprecation spectrum is similar to a color wheel with different shades. A bit of arrogance blends with insecurity in some people. Pride and confidence mix together in some others. Submission and self-consciousness create yet another hue. Humility is found in the sweet-spot between all these different shades.

I read the following excerpt by Dallas Willard on how to be humble:

“First, never pretend. Be yourself. We all face those tight moments when we are tempted to claim inside knowledge or special talents we don’t possess. Or we make quick promises we know we can’t keep. Under pressure we may downplay our abilities because we think it makes us appear humble. Wrong on all counts. True humility claims nothing more or less than the truth. What you see is what you get.
Second, never presume. So often we think we know what others are feeling or we act as if we can read minds. Humility doesn’t pass judgment on why people do what they do or why they say what they say. The humble man realizes he looks on the outward but God alone sees the heart. He refrains from snap judgments, hasty conclusions, and negative assumptions. When he doesn’t know, he simply says, “I don’t know.” We could save ourselves from a ton of worry if we stopped presuming on the future or on what others might do or say.
Third, never push. Humility waits for the Lord to move first. Sometimes we get in trouble because we try to force people to do what we want. This may be expressed by giving commands in a loud voice or by nagging others or by making a series of critical comments or even by using violence to get our own way. If we were asked, we would all say we don’t like to be treated that way. People want to be led, they hate to be pushed. They want the freedom to think things through and to come to their own conclusions. George Fox, founder of the Quaker movement, was a pacifist. Once he was approached by several soldiers who had become followers of his teaching. “How long should we wear our swords?” they asked. “As long as you can,” he replied. Not long after that the soldiers put away their swords voluntarily.

Here are some questions that may help you: Do I talk in ways that make it hard for people to know what I really mean? How often do I assume bad motives in others? How do I react when others don’t immediately follow my advice? In what areas of my life am I pushing when I ought to be waiting on the Lord?
This is the path to humility. Never pretend. Never presume. Never push.”
(excerpt from a talk Dallas Willard gave on leadership)

Hijacking Jesus

Yesterday, I used the analogy of chauffeuring to describe how we should take care of our bodies, which are vehicles of God. This morning the following thought came to me: When I’m chauffeuring God around, which of us decides the destination and the route? Do I drive carefully or recklessly?

I’ll be honest. Most of the time I decide where I am going and how I get there. I don’t even think about the fact that I’m supposed to be driving Jesus to where He wants to go. It’s a rough ride, and I’m sure He is uncomfortable. It’s more like I’m hijacking Jesus than chauffeuring Him. Like a hijacker, I have agendas. I force issues. I assert my will. I’m mortified by what I’ve turned into!
I’m sorry, Lord.

The following lyrics from an old Christian hymn float into my mind:

Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy.

Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.

Food Abuse

I gained 5 lbs last week. I had visitors, so we traveled and ate out a lot. I cooked fat-laden meals and desserts. We did a lot of social and recreational eating and very little exercising.

I ate more food than my body needed. I used food improperly, in a harmful and injurious manner. This is the definition of abuse. If I took more than the prescribed amount of a medicine, it would be called drug abuse. When I eat more calories than I should, it’s perfectly acceptable.

“Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself.” (1 Cor. 6:19 NLT)

This verse is quoted most often as a warning against sexual immorality and self-indulgence. However, most of us who recognize the damage of other forms of bodily injury, tend to downplay the harm we do daily through our food choices. Why? Because it’s a common, acceptable practice. If everyone around us is self-indulgent, morally lax, drinking, using drugs, or promiscuous, we tend to think of that as the new normal. And anyone who speaks up against these common practices is viewed as a contrarian.

Our bodies are vehicles through which God gets around. We are just chauffeurs, driving our Master’s cars. Chauffeurs are expected to maintain the cars they drive, not to abuse them. Likewise, we are duty-bound to care for our bodies and not abuse them.

Back Burner

My friend DH and I were talking about how often we “put things on the back burner”. We always have so many projects going at once, and we can’t pay equal attention to all of them. So a few things have to be moved to the back. Unfortunately, some things get left on the back burner so long that they get burned.

The problem with the back burner is that it gives us the illusion that we are still attending to it. We imagine that whatever we put back there is simmering slowly, and all we need to do is occasionally stir it and keep an eye on it. However, if we have too many things cooking at once, it is inevitable that one of them will be scorched.

Here are some things that I routinely leave on my back burner: Personal care, health, sleep, paper work, chores I dislike, people that annoy me, and anything I can’t reach easily. (This includes literal things like cleaning windows, ceiling fans, vents, and things on top shelves, as well as figurative things beyond my grasp like future goals and dreams.)

How do we prevent parts of our lives from getting burned? We have to routinely rotate our priorities. There are only a few spots upfront, and we have to intentionally move things from the back of our priority list to the front. This means that some of our favorite projects will need to take their turn on the back burner.

Empty Tank

As we were riding around with our son yesterday, we gave him some instructions on keeping the gas tank filled in his car. We told him, in general, not to let the gas tank go below ¼, just so he doesn’t run out of gas and get stranded somewhere. We also told him not to let it go below ½ tank in the winter so the fuel lines don’t freeze due to condensation.

This got me thinking of how often I function with my spiritual tank on empty. In general, I try to fill up daily. But when I get busy, I fail to notice my dwindling reserves.

When I’m facing difficult, wintry, stressful conditions, I tend to be emotionally exhausted. I push myself further and further, until I’m running on fumes. I have to remind myself that it’s even more important to keep my relationship with God on FULL during these harsh seasons.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Rom. 15:13 NLT)

Scaffolding

“The work we do is of no account when compared with the compelling purpose of God. It is simply the scaffolding surrounding His work and His plan.” (from My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers.)

Scaffolding is a temporary structure used to hold workers and materials during the construction of a tall building.

What a great analogy for our role in God’s purpose. Scaffolding allows the workers to get higher, yet it’s just temporary. Everyone knows it’s going to come down once the building is constructed.

Scaffolding gets stepped on. It’s treated roughly. Similarly, we can expect to be treated carelessly and contemptuously while we are supporting God’s purpose. As long as our focus is on enlarging God’s sphere of influence, we will not mind if our contributions are not acknowledged.

What if a worker started embellishing and decorating the scaffolding and calling it the Main Tower? That sounds silly, right? Yet that is what we do when we give more importance to our lives, our work, and our purposes rather than what God is constructing.

We tend to see our life’s work, whether it is parenting, teaching, running a business, healing, or whatever, as our legacy. We correlate our worth and significance to this work. However our contributions are just a temporary skeleton that allows God to transport resources in building His Kingdom.

Unclog My Heart

Toni Braxton’s “Unbreak My Heart” was one of my favorite songs in the late 1990’s. I’d like to write my version of that song and call it “Unclog my Heart”. Yeah…I know it doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. It probably conjures up images of a clogged up toilet…but hear me out.

Sometimes my heart feels like it’s about to explode, not physically, but emotionally. We are all aware of the physical causes of clogged arteries. Yet, many of us ignore the spiritual and emotional plaque build-up in our hearts.

Over the years, pain, fear, resentment, anxiety, rejection, guilt, and disappointments have caused a stiffening of my soul, a rigidity that leads to inflexibility. I can see myself turning into a cantankerous, twisted, old woman.

Just as eating right and exercising can prevent atherosclerosis, proper spiritual practices can minimize soul-sclerosis. I have found a few things that help unclog my heart: I am careful about my mental environment. I try to remove myself from situations that are toxic. I’ve quit the habit of self-inflicted torment. Instead, I do my spiritual exercises. I go to a quiet place. I breathe. I pray that the hard plaque of my soul will be softened. I thank God for His blessings, His protection. I surrender my past and all my burdens. I read the Bible. I write. I invite the Holy Spirit to unclog my heart.

Notes to Myself

Every morning, I sit down with a cup of coffee and have quiet time. I read the Bible, then a devotional, maybe a Christian philosophy book; I pray, and I think. Ideas, words, and worries keep popping into my head. Mostly it’s just one or two words. Never a complete sentence. Most of the time they seem like random distractions. I’ve made a practice of jotting these down and resuming my quiet time.

I’m never sure if these words, ideas, etc. are from my own subconscious or from God. Yet, by writing them down, I release myself from focusing on them right then. After my quiet time, I tend to research and think about these ideas. I’ve learned to pay attention to recurring thoughts, even if they seem silly.

I’ve always thought of this note-taking as something I did to curtail wandering thoughts, similar to tying my hair back in a ponytail so that it doesn’t get in the way. Now, I’m starting to see that these notes have value.

Recently, I’ve used these notes to make some important decisions. I can sense that God can use my wandering thoughts to direct me. I pray over these notes. I ask God to take away anything irrelevant and to help me pursue only that which is from Him.

I need to start writing these little notes in something more permanent than little sticky notes and scrap papers. These notes have also helped me to recognize God’s hand in my life. They provide a visual representation of God’s involvement and His care over even the minor details of my life.

Summer Book Report

My favorite book that I read this summer is Hearing God by Dallas Willard. As with most of Willard’s books, it is best studied rather than read. I chewed and savored it slowly, making it last as long as I could. I got my copy from the local library. I will be buying a copy to keep for myself.

This book was previously published under the title: Search for Guidance. Willard draws inspiration from other Christian theologians and develops and expounds on their ideas. He brings these ideas to current readers in a relevant, thought-provoking form. Willard reminds me of a jeweler who shows us diamonds. He picks up a spiritual concept, holds it up to the light, and shows us the depth, clarity, and brilliance of each gem, until we too can appreciate the beauty as he does.

Why would we assume that if we talk to God, He wouldn’t talk back to us? As if God were like some stuck-up, popular kid in high school who ignores those who are not worthy of His attention! Of course God communicates with us. Sometimes we tune Him out. Sometimes we turn up the volume on everything else so we can drown Him out. Once we get used to living this way, we just can’t recognize God’s whisper amid the chaos.

There were so many great concepts in this book that I can’t give you just a synopsis. Here are some things I will take away from this book: There is nothing better than an intimate, conversational relationship with God. Hearing God involves communicating with God. God rarely gets in your face like an electronic billboard. Neither does He play ‘theological charades’ as Willard calls it. We recognize God’s voice through familiarity and intimacy, because we are attuned to Him and expect to hear from Him.

My Son's Birthday

Today is my son's 17th birthday. I am thankful for his life. I remember how nervous I was when I brought him home for the first time. I was afraid I might somehow break him. I used to marvel at how parents managed to keep their kids alive till they were grown. Everywhere I looked, I saw danger.

As my son has grown, I have matured as well. My role has changed from caregiver to prayer-giver. I have very little control over his daily choices. I now know that I can't keep him safe from danger, or evil. Daily, I surrender my son to God. I am just the foster parent that gets to enjoy him for a while. He belongs to God, the Father of all.

“My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the Destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of my hand. The Father who put them under my care is so much greater than the Destroyer and Thief. No one could ever get them away from him. I and the Father are one heart and mind." (John 10:25-30 MSG)

I pray that the Holy Spirit will be with my son. May he recognize God. May he make good choices and stay under the protective power of God.
May he overcome evil, by doing good. (Rom. 12:21)