Moral Burdens

Recently, we watched The Descendants on DVD. Like many other movies, it led to several deep conversations between my husband and me. I don’t want to spoil the movie for those who haven’t seen it yet, so I won’t mention any specifics.

One of the topics we discussed after the movie was the concept of moral obligations or responsibilities. Here are some examples-- We believe it’s our responsibility to take care of our dog. However, we don’t feel a moral obligation to feed every stray cat in the neighborhood, although we admire neighbors who do. We hear about children suffering in Africa, and we feel sad, but not responsible for their care. We notice some friends are having marital issues, yet we don’t feel it’s our place to get involved.

We decided there has to be a phrase for doing the right thing without feeling like it’s an obligation or responsibility. After some thought, I decided that what I feel in most of these situations is a moral burden, a heaviness of conscience to do the right thing. It’s a bit more intense than just being humane, yet not to the level of feeling that it’s my responsibility.

I feel a moral burden to take care of those who are suffering. This may sound noble and altruistic at first, but there is a downside. It has caused a few of my friends to hide their problems from me, because they know I’ll carry around burdens that I cannot solve. I’ve also heard from a few of them that they sometimes feel like one of my “projects”. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by C.S. Lewis:
“She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.” (from The Screwtape Letters)

Nowadays, like a passenger at the airport baggage claim, I try to only pick up bags with my name on them. And even these burdens that are mine to carry, I hand over to God, who is infinitely stronger and more able than I am.

“Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” (Ps. 55:22 NLT)