You’ve all heard the term buyer’s remorse--when a person buys something and regrets his/her decision shortly after the purchase. Well, I routinely have talker’s remorse. I’ll be in a group, conversation will be flowing…then I get carried away and say things that I later regret. As one of my friends noted recently, even when I don’t know anything about a subject, I feel free to expound on my ignorance.
It’s similar to how I feel after eating junk food. I start off with a handful of chips, and before you know it I’ve eaten a whole bag. I’m more likely to do this when I’m either watching TV or with a group of women friends. Social eating and social talking are my weaknesses. You don’t even want to know what happens when I get together with my gal pals AND there is a bag of potato chips involved ;-) Yes, that’s right…I wake up the next morning with a social hangover! Instead of the ‘walk of shame’, I go through the ‘talk of shame’. I usually end up calling my friends and apologizing for saying whatever salt-induced thing came into my head!
Writing is better for me. I get to wait and consider my words before others are exposed to it. I also have learned to limit group sizes. I can control my speech better when I’m in a one-on-one conversation. I’ve also asked my close friends to take the chips away after they think I’ve had enough. These are the things I try to do but it isn’t enough. It’s like expecting an intoxicated person to have the judgment to know when it’s time to stop.
So…these days when the compulsion to talk excessively comes upon me, I follow the 12-step program. I admit that I don’t have control, and I rely on God to help me get out of this habit.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI know you wrote this a little while back.
I definitely relate to this post. I get nervous a lot this days and want to contribute and tend to be fairly well informed. When I talk in groups, I tend to forget what I know and contribute.. I stumble over myself like a nervous tick and sometimes things come out awkward to say the least.
I came to the conclusion that I think too much and analyze my entire life. Is this me trying to remember all the foolish moments to prevent same foolishness to occur again? Cannot be certain.. All I know is that if everyone didn't have these walls up that make it hard to see in, it has people second guessing themselves. Who are these people and what gives them the view to make others uncomfortable that they can't even properly be themselves...
I have a feeling I am going to regret this tomorrow... yeah? see what I did there.. Anyways I digress.
Cheers for the post,
River
oh and what 12-step program are you talking about?
ReplyDeleteDear Ripple Effekt,
DeleteI just noticed this comment. The originial 12-step program (for Alcoholics Anonymous) is used now by many others with compulsive habits or addictions. I've never suffered from alcoholism or chemical dependencies. But I do find these steps useful in other areas.
1.We admitted we were powerless- that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5.Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10.Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.