God Sees and Hears

This morning I read the following verse: “Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the LORD, who had spoken to her. She said, "You are the God who sees me." She also said, "Have I truly seen the One who sees me?" (Genesis 16:13 NLT)

Hagar, desperate and vulnerable, feels all alone in the desert—But God sees her, hears her cry, instructs her, comforts and strengthens her.

God sees and hears everything. He senses our pain, anguish, and fears. We are not alone, EVER.

A few hours after I read the above verse, I heard the following song for the first time:

‘Whom Shall I Fear’ (or ‘God of Angel Armies’ by Chris Tomlin)
You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the Light
Whom Shall I Fear…
I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side
The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side (song lyrics by Chris Tomlin)
To listen to this song click: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzIABaImiK4

The above verse about Hagar and hearing the song a few hours later—felt like a divine tap on the head. I sent the song link to my phone and listened to it several times. I think the lyrics of the song came from the Book of Job. Job was a good man who was dealt some really bad cards. Yet, he stayed faithful and trusting, despite his terrible circumstances.

So no matter what we are dealing with today, we too can find strength knowing that the God of Angel Armies goes before us, stands behind us, and is always by our side.

Slow Fade

“It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade” (song lyrics by Casting Crowns)

Every time I hear this song, it brings tears to my eyes. Every little choice we make is a step—either uphill, away from the abyss--or downhill, to the edge of a cliff. Uphill steps have to be intentional; we can’t rely on momentum. Every step up takes a lot of effort and it is tiring. Going downhill, on the other hand, is much easier. It doesn’t require much thought. We almost have to hold ourselves back so as not to slip head-long too quickly. As we descend, we build up momentum. Before we know it, our little choices have led us to the edge of a dark abyss, and we can’t stop ourselves from tumbling over the edge.

These daily choices are so subtle—we rarely recognize their significance as we make them. We choose between truth and half-truths, pride and humility, selfishness and selflessness, worry and trust, fantasy and reality, greed and generosity. We choose to numb our minds with alcohol, numb our pain with drugs, and numb our boredom with distractions. We pursue a life of ease and accolades. What starts off as a gradual descent, builds up speed and snowballs down the hill. By the time we see the edge of the cliff, we have little control over the momentum, over ourselves.

How can this slow fade, this down-hill slide into darkness be prevented? First of all, make a conscious decision to face upward toward the light. Know that the climb is tough and exhausting. Rest when you get weary, or else you’re likely to slip. Strengthen yourself with trust in God. After each break, get up and resume the climb. You will encounter many who are skipping merrily downhill. Don’t envy the ease of their descent. It’ll just sap your strength and determination. Instead, focus on where you need to place your foot next. The climb is steep and treacherous and requires great concentration and stamina. Yet, because you are headed in the right direction—toward the Most High, you can be assured of protection.

“If you make the Lord your refuge,
    if you make the Most High your shelter,
 no evil will conquer you;
    no plague will come near your home.
 For he will order his angels
    to protect you wherever you go.
They will hold you up with their hands
    so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.” (Psalm 91:9-12 NLT)

Lasting Change

Every week I clean my house. It takes hours of exhaustive work to clean all the bathrooms, vacuum, mop, pick up the clutter, throw away the useless stuff, etc. And a few minutes later, it looks messy again. No matter how much work I do, I can’t control the fact that all my efforts will be undone in a matter of time. It’s not just my home that I try to clean and organize. I try to help others sort things out in their lives. I pray and worry.

A friend of mine was talking to me about some concerns she had about a loved one.  In the middle of this conversation, she made the following statement: “I’ve prayed; now, it is between him and the Holy Spirit.” This made such an impression on me.  I’ve been thinking about all the people that I am concerned about. In most cases, the only thing I can do, other than to worry, is to pray. The only person that I can even remotely control is myself.  Most everything else is beyond my influence. So, I went through the list of family and friends whom I pray for daily. I released each one to God and said to myself: Now it’s between him/her and the Holy Spirit.

“But John intervened: “I’m baptizing you here in the river. The main character in this drama, to whom I’m a mere stagehand, will ignite the kingdom life, a fire, the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out. He’s going to clean house—make a clean sweep of your lives. He’ll place everything true in its proper place before God; everything false he’ll put out with the trash to be burned.” (Luke 3:16-17 MSG)

 

Even John the Baptist admitted he had very little ability to change people. He baptized, preached, and convinced many people to repent and turn away from sin. He was zealous about his calling—living a simple, solitary life—fasting, praying—completely dedicated to God. Yet, he knew that it was beyond his power to convince another human being to truly change from the inside out. Soul level transformation—lasting change—can only happen through the power of the Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit is not a slacker; He is working even when we are oblivious to His presence.

Our Father Cares

I have a prayer list. Every day I take a few minutes to lift up certain people to God. I feel the need to remind God that these people need healing, peace, guidance, protection, etc. Why?! If God is our Father, wouldn’t He already care enough about all these people?

I rarely have to remind my husband to care for our son. We regularly talk to each other about our child. My husband and I have different expectations and parenting styles, so we try to come to some agreement before we approach our son.

“Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing. You’re at least decent to your own children. So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?” (Matt. 7:7-11 MSG)

God, our Father, cares for every person, whether they are on my prayer list or not. Sharing my concerns and desires for these people with God is comforting to me. A single mom once told me how much she misses being able to share her burdens about her children with their father.  Our Father is even more invested in our children, spouses, sisters, brothers, friends, and parents than we are. He doesn’t need daily reminders, but He is eager to share our concerns and give us hints on how to comfort His suffering children. 

Am I Saved?

I know Christians who are worried about their salvation. I’m NOT one of them. Discussions about the merits of infant vs. adult baptism, sprinkling water vs. full body immersion, whether you said the ‘salvation prayer’, faith vs. works, etc. are irrelevant, in my opinion.

It’s like a married person wondering if their wedding ceremony was legitimate. Whether you said the traditional vows, or made them up yourself, whether you wore white or black, whether the ceremony was in a church or outside, whether you choose to wear rings or not—none of this is crucial to being married. The only thing that matters is whether you are fully committed to your spouse right now.

I rarely discuss my first encounter with Christ, because I don’t remember when it was! I’m pretty sure He was with me before I noticed Him. I try to focus on our mutual love. Every day is an opportunity to express my commitment and devotion.

“May God, our very own God, continue to be with us just as he was with our ancestors—may he never give up and walk out on us. May he keep us centered and devoted to him, following the life path he has cleared, watching the signposts, walking at the pace and rhythms he laid down for our ancestors.” (1 Kings 8:56-58 MSG)

Uncomfortable Encounters

I frequently meet people who make me feel uncomfortable. I’ve tried to analyze what it is about them that makes me uneasy. Sometimes I sense that something is off-balance, corrupt, or inauthentic about these individuals. Other times, I recognize some trait in them that I dislike in myself.

Recently I met someone who seemed driven by the desire for personal happiness and gain. I recognized the same trait in myself, except that I’m apologetic about it and see this as a weakness. I’m also uncomfortable around domineering people, because it reminds me of my own pushiness. Basically, I prefer to hang out with people who are different than I am, because then I don’t have to face my iniquities.

I try to avoid these uncomfortable encounters with my own soul. Unfortunately, I keep running into people like me. I’m forced to confront the corruption within me. It’s an unpleasant task. I feel like I’m extracting a decayed tooth with pliers, from my own mouth. And yet, like a rotten tooth, if I don’t pull it out, the degeneration will just get worse. So...when I have these uncomfortable encounters, I come home and do a self-evaluation. I hold the mirror up and try to yank out the sin.

Luxury

Several months ago, I was reading an article in the Economist about one of the biggest slums in Africa. It described the economy, housing, safety, infrastructure, and self-sufficiency of this slum. There was one factoid from this report that caught my attention: most of these slum-dwellers ate all their meals outside their homes. The article mentioned that they didn’t have the luxury of preparing meals at home. Most of these ‘homes’ didn’t have kitchens or bathrooms. Neither did they have enough money on hand to buy fuel (firewood, charcoal, or dried cow dung) or the ingredients for multiple meals. Local restaurants could buy ingredients and food in bulk and cook for the masses, thus reducing the cost of each meal.

I had never thought of preparing meals at home as a luxury before reading that article. I counted up the actual cost of a simple meal at my home: rice and lentils with spinach. I buy rice and lentils in bulk. For $22, I can buy the ingredients for many meals for my family. However, many people don’t have the luxury of having $22 on hand to buy in bulk or the space to store these things without rodents or insects getting into it. According to the latest statistics, almost half the world—over three billion people—live on less than $2.50 a day. http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats

This got me thinking of all the other luxuries I take for granted. I have more than adequate shelter, a bathroom in my home, access to clean water, electricity, medicine, sanitation, education, and transportation. I live in a peaceful area, where I’m not likely to be gunned down or tortured before sundown. I am able to feed and take care of my child.

What can we, who live in luxury, do to help the other half of the world?

Hold On

“If life were stable, I’d never need God’s help. Since it’s not, I reach out for Him regularly. I am thankful for the unknowns and that I don’t have control, because it makes me run to God.” (Crazy Love, by Francis Chan)
 

This quote reminded me of the one and only time I rode on the back of a motorcycle, while my husband was driving. The ride was bumpy, and I couldn’t see where we were going—only what we had passed through. I held on to him as tightly as I could.

When my days are running smoothly, I don’t seek God as desperately. However, when life is out of my control, when I face one blind curve after another, I cling to Jesus with a vice-like grip. I’m not really at the point of spiritual maturity that I feel thankful for the unknowns. Even though I dislike instability, I can see the purpose in it. This is more than a typical joy-ride; God is showing us something, taking us somewhere.

“Help me understand these things inside and out so I can ponder your miracle-wonders. My sad life’s dilapidated, a falling-down barn; build me up again by your Word. Barricade the road that goes Nowhere; grace me with your clear revelation. I choose the true road to Somewhere, I post your road signs at every curve and corner. I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me; God, don’t let me down! I’ll run the course you lay out for me if you’ll just show me how. (Psalm 119:24-26 MSG)

Hold on to God—whether the road is smooth or treacherous. Stay alert. Take mental notes. Post road signs for others.

The Power of Seduction

My friends got me a big bag of potato chips for my birthday. It called to me, tempting me with its bright yellow bag which promised crunchy, salty bliss. Now, you might be thinking…A bag of potato chips is no big deal. Well, that is how seduction works. Subtle, covert temptation that eases us in slowly is much more effective than any blatant come-ons. Even stupid animals don’t fall into a snare unless it is hidden. We all know to wrap the bait around the hook when we are fishing.

Similarly, we are slyly led astray by seemingly innocuous desires. We all want health, financial stability, happiness, safety, love, respect, admiration, a comfortable life for our families, and security for our country. What’s wrong with that? Well, when I look closely, I can see a hook under that bait. The snare of wanting more or holding on tight to what I have occupies my attention. It distracts me from the suffering of non-family members, strangers, and foreigners.   

Seduction slowly draws us away from what is good and right. The Lord’s Prayer includes the following line: “Lead us not into temptation.” That always seemed like a goofy request to me. Why would God lead us into temptation in the first place? Wouldn’t it be better to ask God to “lead us AWAY from temptation”? Why are we tested so frequently?

Tests assess our readiness for the next level of understanding. When we fall into temptation, we usually experience the consequences of our choices. Hopefully, the next time, we recognize the barbed hook that is hidden beneath the bait. We learn to give a wide berth to anything that looks faintly like a snare. We are able to see beyond the seductive exterior to the corrupt interior.

Living on the Edge

I saw this on a news report on mudslides the other day: A row of beautiful houses was built on the edge of a cliff, presumably for the amazing view. Then they showed the backyards just collapsing into the cliff. These homes were being evacuated, because it was just a matter of time before they tumbled down the cliff as well.

My initial reaction was one of sympathy for these homeowners. Then I wondered why these people would have built their homes on the edge of a cliff in the first place.

The idiom ‘living on the edge’ is used to describe a type of existence that is precarious, dangerous and pushing the limits. The word ‘edgy’ used to mean restless and unstable. Now, edgy people are considered exciting and non-conforming.  Many of us intentionally build our lives on the edge, taking risks, throwing caution to the wind. Our culture values boldness, even if it leads to disaster in the long run.

I think that boldness and nonconformity are good in certain circumstances. When we confront injustice, when we stand up for what is good and right, when we are willing to push the limits in order to help others who are weaker or less fortunate, then our audacity is heroic. However, when our recklessness is driven by personal ambition, it can needlessly put our families in danger.

When I meet people who are risk-takers, I try to figure out what motivates them. I don’t put much stock in what they say. Most of us have a rehearsed script that we present to others as well as believe ourselves. So I try to dig underneath the surface until I can see the roots of these aspirations. Often our ambition is driven by our desire for personal gain of some sort. This is why it is important to examine our motives, to dig deep, to find the root cause of our desire, and to determine if the long term consequences of our choices are beneficial to all concerned.  

Master-Planned

(Mental Hygiene Series)

10.     “Even if I turn out to be wrong, I shall bet my life on the assumption that this world is not idiotic, neither run by an absentee landlord, but that today, this very day, some stroke is being added to the cosmic canvas that in due course I shall understand with joy as a stroke made by the architect who calls himself Alpha and Omega.” (Clyde Kilby)

Master-Planned Communities are popular in the Texas. These are towns in which residential houses, commercial building and recreational parks and facilities are all planned and platted out for the entire development before anything is built. Unlike subdivisions, which may have  houses, common areas, and a neighborhood park planned out in advance, master-planned communities design an entire town at once—shopping centers, office parks, schools, churches, gated housing subdivisions, even the garbage dump.  I’ve been to these master-planned towns. I find them unnatural and soulless. These towns usually cater to the wealthy who would prefer to keep themselves gated off from the less fortunate. When I stroll by the man-made lakes, and contrived market places, I wonder who the ‘master’ was behind these plans.
 

I’ve also been in towns with no zoning, where everything is built ad-hoc, as the need arises. Schools and churches are built next to the bus or train station and sidewalk vendors sell everything imaginable to passers-by. Although this can be a bit more interesting environment, this too is man-made.
 

This is why I enjoy getting away from population centers where humans have yet to mess up nature. I have been to some places that are truly Master-Planned--where the mountains meet oceans and un-manicured forests sustain living creatures. At night, the stars are mesmerizing, with no city lights to obscure them. Yes, there is pain, suffering, death and decay—nothing is gated-off in nature. I don’t like these aspects of nature, because I don’t understand the purpose behind them. Yet, I cannot deny that I sense that God has master-planned all of nature—the glorious and the ignominious. He is the Designer, the Architect, and every detail has been planned out from beginning to end.
 

“I’m the Beginning, I’m the Conclusion. From Water-of-Life Well I give freely to the thirsty. Conquerors inherit all this. I’ll be God to them, they’ll be sons and daughters to me.” (Revelation 21:6 MSG)

 

Living in the Moment

(Mental Hygiene Series)

9.      “I shall not allow the devilish onrush of this century to usurp all my energies but will instead, as Charles Williams suggested, "fulfill the moment as the moment." I shall try to live well just now because the only time that exists is now.”(Clyde Kilby)

Ah yes, yet another admonishment to live in the moment.

I find it hard to stay mindful while doing mundane chores like vacuuming or folding laundry. In order to alleviate the boredom, I allow my mind to wander. Mostly, I think of what else I have to do on that day or upcoming week…which in turn leads to feelings of further boredom and dread.

Today, I tried to be present while I folded laundry. Here is a glimpse into my inner dialogue: This is so pointless. I can think of a hundred other things I’d rather be doing right now. Ok, pay attention. Fold the towel. Hang up my husband’s shirt. Repeat. After several minutes, I notice a change in my mood. I feel a sense of gratitude creeping in. I feel grateful for the time to take care of my home, family, and yes…laundry. I notice I’m getting distracted by my gratefulness. So I have to pull my mind back to the task at hand. Get more hangers, fold, put things away…

Once the laundry was finished, I started vacuuming. I tried the same technique of just being conscious. I watched the lines created by the vacuum, the dust and dog hair disappearing into the vacuum cleaner. My mind started wandering again. Then suddenly, I felt this pain around my hip. That got my attention. I started vacuuming more carefully, mindful of every move. I thought about how pain sometimes forces us to focus. Except that now I wasn’t really paying attention to the task at hand as much as my pain.

The paradox of being fully engaged in the moment is that it makes one even more self-conscious. Mindfulness should lead to holistic awareness rather than self-absorption. Living well now involves being present and grateful for the existing moment.

 

Imaginative Things

(Mental Hygiene Series)

 8.     “I shall follow Darwin's advice and turn frequently to imaginative things such as good literature and good music, preferably, as Lewis suggests, an old book and timeless music.” (Clyde Kilby)

Maybe imaginative play is what I’m lacking. Children are good at using their imagination. I seem to remember myself as being a practical child. I remember reading fiction till I was in my early 20’s. So, I must have had an imaginative side back then. C.S. Lewis recommends old books and timeless music for mental health.

I see both reading and music as luxuries. I really enjoy both, but feel guilty when I take time for these pursuits. I usually manage to sneak in some reading time every day, either early in the morning or while eating lunch by myself. However, I rarely carve out time for music. In the same way that I allocate time for physical exercise, now I shall take time to read and listen to music. I will allow myself at least 30 minutes per day for each of these activities.

Innocence

(Mental Hygiene Series)

7.     “I shall sometimes look back at the freshness of vision I had in childhood and try, at least for a little while, to be, in the words of Lewis Carroll, the "child of the pure unclouded brow, and dreaming eyes of wonder." (Clyde Kilby)

I was tempted to just skip this quote. I’ve never been a fan of Lewis Carroll, who is best known for writing Alice in Wonderland. I never really understood the hoopla about that book—just a bit too phantasmagoric for my taste. Yet, since I’m trying to learn new mental health habits, I decided I should think about this quote a bit.

I realized the reason for my initial resistance to this quote. It harks back to childhood innocence. I don’t remember a phase of ‘pure unclouded brow’. In fact, I’m pretty sure I was born with a skeptical expression. I realized this when I looked at my newborn son and he would stare back with the same wrinkled forehead that I had. His left eyebrow would furrow downward at me with a doubtful expression. If he weren’t just weeks old, I would have wondered what had happened in his life to make him look so cynical!

 

Since I couldn’t remember how it was to have the innocence of a child, I wasn’t sure how to go about cultivating this habit, now, at my age. So, I decided to go for a run. I was about half a mile from my house, when I heard the distinctive call of the Meadow Lark. (It’s the only bird call that I can easily recognize.) I smiled to myself and kept running. Another quarter mile later, I heard yet another distinctive bird call, but this time I had no idea what species it came from. A few minutes later, I passed by some woods and it was like a choir of birds singing. I was just amazed by the complexity of this music. I ran past the woods toward the cornfields. Suddenly a flock of blackbirds took off all together creating this beautiful fluttering sound. Their flight seemed casual compared with the acrobatic murmurations of the European Starlings last fall. As I soaked all this in, I realized something about myself. I might never regain the innocence of a “child of the pure unclouded brow”, but I’m blessed to still have “dreaming eyes of wonder.”   

Accepting Mystery

(Mental Hygiene Series)

6.     “I shall open my eyes and ears. Once every day I shall simply stare at a tree, a flower, a cloud, or a person. I shall not then be concerned at all to ask what they are but simply be glad that they are. I shall joyfully allow them the mystery of what C.S. Lewis calls their "divine, magical, terrifying and ecstatic" existence.” (Clyde Kilsby)

I rarely take time to stare at a tree, a flower, or a cloud. I glance briefly and then move on to my thoughts. I do tend to maintain eye contact with people. I find them much more complicated, so I don’t take anyone at face value. One of the reasons I like C.S. Lewis is that he looked at things with a mystical perspective while remaining rational. He allowed for the mystery of God, saw glimpses of the Divine in nature, and subsequently realized his own shrinking significance.

So today’s mental hygiene habit is to take time to appreciate the wonder of creation and accept the mystery of the Creator.

Uniqueness

(Mental Hygiene Series)

5.      “I shall not demean my own uniqueness by envy of others. I shall stop boring into myself to discover what psychological or social categories I might belong to. Mostly I shall simply forget about myself and do my work.” (Clyde Kilby)

When I compare myself to others, I diminish my uniqueness. I like to dig deep and figure myself and others out. This involves labeling people into categories: introverts or extroverts, intense or laid-back, prideful or humble, self-absorbed or charitable, interesting or boring. This stereotyping essentially strips individuals of their distinctiveness.

Now, the downside of all this psychoanalysis is that the vacuuming hasn’t been done in a week. My lesson for today is: I’m unique; you’re unique; and there is work to be done, so get on with it.

Abstract or Concrete

 (Mental Hygiene Series)

4.     “I shall not turn my life into a thin, straight line which prefers abstractions to reality. I shall know what I am doing when I abstract, which of course I shall often have to do.” (Clyde Kilby)

I often think in metaphors because it helps me make sense of things. This habit, of looking at every experience as a symbol, also leads me to prefer abstractions to reality.

For example, a glass of spilled milk is sometimes just a mess that needs to be cleaned up. It is impractical to pause and analyze every spill and try to find meaning in it. (Did I just use a metaphor to explain why I need to quit being abstract?) ;-)

There is a lot to learn in this world and some of it requires a certain level of detachment from earthly concerns. However, I must remain rooted in reality and remind myself that under all the abstractions there are concrete truths.

The Potential of Pain

(Mental Hygiene Series)

3.     “I shall not fall into the falsehood that this day, or any day, is merely another ambiguous and plodding twenty-four hours, but rather a unique event, filled, if I so wish, with worthy potentialities. I shall not be fool enough to suppose that trouble and pain are wholly evil parentheses in my existence, but just as likely ladders to be climbed toward moral and spiritual manhood.” (Clyde Kilby)

When I was a teenager, the first word I uttered on waking up was “Crap!” I’m not sure how I got into this bad habit. As the alarm went off, I would wake up already tired, knowing I would have to hurry to get through all the things I had to do. I would dread the day ahead. I would wish I could just go back to sleep.

These days, I wake up without an alarm. I try to start each morning with prayer. I’m aware that the next 24 hours will probably bring trouble. Yet, I remind myself that there will be potential for moral and spiritual growth in this pain. Sure, I would like to go back to sleep, to be unaware, to remain stagnant. However, this is not an option. Each day brings the possibility of either climbing up the ladder of maturity or descending it.

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” (Rom. 12:1-2 MSG)

Intelligent Director

(Mental Hygiene Series)

The next mental hygiene habit is resisting cynicism. This habit is going to be uncomfortable for me. It will be like starting an exercise that I’m not used to doing. I predict I’ll be sore in a few days.

2.     “Instead of the accustomed idea of a mindless and endless evolutionary change to which we can neither add nor subtract, I shall suppose the universe guided by an Intelligence which, as Aristotle said of Greek drama, requires a beginning, a middle, and an end. I think this will save me from the cynicism expressed by Bertrand Russell before his death when he said: ‘There is darkness without, and when I die there will be darkness within. There is no splendor, no vastness anywhere, only triviality for a moment, and then nothing.’” (Clyde Kilby)

I can’t ignore the darkness and suffering all around me. Evil seems so rampant, while goodness seems random.

How can I be cynical, yet claim to have faith in God at the same time?

My friends know that I like to run. They also know I like junk food. Yesterday, I ran 2 miles and then ate a burger, fries, and 2 chocolate chip cookies. I am able to occasionally indulge in junk food, because I exercise regularly.

Similarly, because I have faith in an incomprehensible God who guides this universe, I may be able to get away with occasional bouts of cynicism. Yet every time I indulge myself, it sets me back. I have to constantly remind myself that God is in control of every detail. He directs the beginning, middle, and end of this drama.

Mental Hygiene Series

(1st in Series)

Victor Frankl, in his book Man’s Search for Meaning, mentions the concept of ‘mental hygiene’. Now, I had heard of ‘dental hygiene’ and ‘personal hygiene’ but the concept of mental hygiene was new to me. Hygiene is the preservation of health and cleanliness. So, this idea of preserving mental health is fascinating to me. Habits like bathing, washing hands, brushing, and flossing can preserve your physical and dental health. Similarly, I wondered if I could develop mental hygiene habits as well. Then, a friend sent me a link to a blog called ‘Desiring God’. While searching through the archives I found a list of “10 Mental Health Resolutions” by Clyde Kilby. I decided to ponder on them one at a time; so here is the first one on the list:

1.     “At least once every day I shall look steadily up at the sky and remember that I, a consciousness with a conscience, am on a planet traveling in space with wonderfully mysterious things above and about me.” (Clyde Kilby)

At first glance, I thought this was about spending time in nature. The more I thought about it, I realized that being outdoors was just the beginning.

On an average day, I spend less than 1 hour a day outdoors. That means I’m in some man-made building 96% of the time. Even when I’m outside, my mind is occupied with things I have to do, listening to music, trying to walk around traffic, or doing yard work, etc. I rarely take time to look up wondrously at the sky and acknowledge that I am a speck, on a revolving planet, in a universe so vast and incomprehensible. I was created to be a consciousness with a conscience. Yet I spend most of my time shuffling, preoccupied with the ground on which I walk, unconscious of the wonder above and around me.

So, my first mental hygiene habit is to look up at the sky, at least once a day—to be conscious, for a moment, to the wonder around me.

Balaam and His Donkey

My neighborhood Bible study group has been studying the Book of Numbers from the Old Testament. When my friend suggested this book for our study, I wasn’t too excited, because it’s mostly about, well…a lot of boring numbers. This week I was reading the odd story about Balaam and his donkey (Numbers. 22-24). I remember reading this popular story to my son when he was younger. Here is a summary of this story in my own words: Balaam is known for being a ‘fee for service’ prophet. The local king hires him to curse the Israelites. God lets Balaam know that this is against His plan. Balaam continues to entertain the king’s offer. So then God tells him to go ahead and try conforming to the powers that be. Balaam sets off, riding his donkey, on his profit-motivated venture. Thrice God blocks his way by sending an angel. Balaam (even though he claims to be a prophet) fails to recognize the angel, while his donkey has no problem seeing clearly. The donkey refuses to go any further. Balaam beats the donkey for making him look like a fool. The donkey speaks out against the injustice. Suddenly, Balaam is able to see and hear the angel. After several admonishments to only say what God tells him, Balaam is once again sent on his way. When Balaam arrives at his job-site, he evaluates the situation, makes some sacrifices, and blesses the Israelites, thus following God’s instructions. However, Balaam accompanies the king to several different vantage points, to see if, maybe, God can be manipulated into seeing things from a different angle. Needless to say, God’s perspective doesn’t change.

I could see myself in the character of Balaam. I too am stubborn, resistant, and profit/benefit-motivated. I justify this trait by telling myself that I’m not looking to make a lot of money, just enough to support myself and not be dependent on anyone. I’ve been asking God to show me His will for my life. I suspect that He has revealed it to me multiple times, but I have stubbornly refused to acknowledge it, because it doesn’t fit my agenda. I continue to ‘entertain’ people and ideas that conform to worldly standards rather than God’s standards. God sends the equivalent of talking donkeys—supernatural situations that are meant to get my attention. Instead of recognizing these divine nudges, I keep following my own myopic vision. I repeatedly try to look at things from different angles, hoping that God can be influenced to see things from my point of view.

                   

Window Cleaner

I like looking through the windows of my house into nature. However, most of the time they are dusty and my view is blurred. Once a year, I set out to clean my windows. It’s a two-person job to tilt the windows in and clean both sides. 

Why do I prefer to look through my dusty windows rather than experiencing everything that nature has to offer? I spend about 30 minutes a day outside on a typical day, more if the weather is nice. The rest of the time I prefer to be in a climate-controlled environment. I must admit that I’m not fond of many of the elements of nature, whether it’s cold, heat, rain, snow, ice, wind, or even bugs, rodents, or snakes.

 “You’ve been given insight into God’s kingdom—you know how it works. But to those who can’t see it yet, everything comes in stories, creating readiness, nudging them toward receptive insight. These are people—Whose eyes are open but don’t see a thing, Whose ears are open but don’t understand a word, Who avoid making an about-face and getting forgiven.” (Mark 4:9-11 MSG)

I have a tendency to think and write about God’s Kingdom (God’s sphere of influence or God-infused environment). Yet I spend very limited time in this Kingdom. I prefer to look at it through the windows, while staying inside, where I have a bit more control. Kingdom conditions are not always comfortable or predictable. Eventually, I hope to develop the courage to face this wild kingdom that is beyond my control. Meanwhile, I shall keep cleaning windows.

Vanity and Pride

In modern culture, neither vanity nor pride is considered a harmful vice. In fact, both are encouraged. We are to take pride in our family, our ethnicity, our country, our work, our looks, our careers, our education, our talents, and our contributions to society. Most advertisements appeal to our vanity. The economy thrives on our desire for consumer goods that make us appear more beautiful, successful, and fashionable than others.

“The vain person wants praise, applause, admiration, too much and is always angling for it…It shows that you are not completely contented with your own admiration…The real black, diabolical Pride, comes when you look down on others so much that you do not care what they think of you…We must try not to be vain, but we must never call in our Pride to cure our vanity.” (excerpts from Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis)

Vanity is a lesser form of Pride. Vanity is superficial. Pride goes deeper and thus is harder to excise from our soul. Attempting to displace vanity with pride is like trying to cure acne with a carcinogen. When we think so highly of ourselves, when we are sure of our greatness, when we believe that others are not even capable of recognizing how special we really are...then we have entered into a truly dark place.

“A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” (from Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis)

And here lies the real danger: Pride prevents us from recognizing our need for God.

Severed Trust

(written as part of Romans Bible study)

“Notice how God is both kind and severe. He is severe toward those who disobeyed, but kind to you if you continue to trust in his kindness. But if you stop trusting, you also will be cut off.” (Rom 11:22 NLT)

Sometimes I trust God; sometimes I don’t. I go back and forth almost on an hourly basis. I didn’t think of this as disobedience or rebellion. I just thought of it as part of my human nature.

If I wavered so much in any other relationship, I would expect irreparable damage. Yet, I continue to have this on-again, off-again trust with God and expect minimal consequences. It’s not that God is punishing me for my lack of trust. There are only so many times that you can sever, or cut off a relationship and still expect it to flourish.

When I discontinue my trust in God, even if it is just a temporary relapse, I am choosing to put that trust in something or someone else. Sometimes, I decide to depend on myself or others. Other times, I give in to despairing thoughts which lead me to bet on evil. I snatch the keys from God and hand them over to the devil.

 “Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.” (1 Cor. 13:13 MSG)

Steady, unwavering trust is a byproduct of extravagant love. Once we realize that this is the kind of relationship God seeks with us--this abundant, extravagant love that abandons all else—then we become more pliant to His will.

“Everything comes from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him.  Always glory, Always praise! Yes. Yes. Yes.” (Romans 11:36 MSG)

Renewing Vows

Many couples, who have been married for a while, renew their wedding vows. This ceremony allows the couple to rededicate themselves to each other and remind each other of their covenant relationship.

We renewed our vows last Sunday--our baptismal vows, that is. As part of the Easter church service, we were asked: Are you willing to renew your commitment to this covenant with Christ?  And each of us got to answer: I do!

“This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the Lord: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.” (Heb. 10:16 NLT)

Each Easter, we celebrate the anniversary of God’s covenant with us. Jesus laid down his life for us, ensuring that God’s Spirit will always be with us. We are in a committed relationship with Christ. When we renew our promise to stay faithful, we are reminded of our role in this covenant.

“Let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” (Heb.10:22-24 NLT)

Raise Up

Yesterday during the Easter service, our pastor asked the following questions: “Who has raised you up in the past year? And, who can you lift up in the coming year?”

As any kid knows, the most likely answer to any question asked in church is: Jesus. Now that the obvious answer is out of the way, I would like to unwrap this question further and peek inside.

Who has lifted me up? My husband, sister, and several close friends come to mind. As conduits of God’s love, they have provided support, encouragement, and inspiration. How can I do the same for others? First of all, I need to recognize those who need lifting up. Then, I need to put aside my own ideas and allow the Holy Spirit to work through me. I have to be receptive, pliant, consistent, and available.

During this process, there is always the risk of dragging someone down or being pulled down myself. In order to minimize this risk, I have to be able to discern my weaknesses as well as those of others. I must rely on God’s Spirit for this discernment as well. I also have to be vigilant, proactive, and disciplined.

I’m thankful for all those who have lifted me up thus far. I pray that God will use me to lift up others.