Cringe-worthy Moments

After 12 years of being a homeschool mom, I have now moved on to a new phase of life. I learned a lot of lessons along the way, but some didn’t really click until now.

Sometimes I have an ‘Aha-Moment’—a sudden insight or a moment of enlightenment. These are usually positive realizations like— I’m glad I was able to commit to being a full-time parent. I’m glad that we live where we live, and that my family was somewhat shielded from negative influences and experiences…

I also have Oh-Crap-Moments—when I suddenly realize that I’ve accidentally done something detrimental. I cringe as I think back on these well-intentioned, yet dumb decisions. Here are some examples:

Homeschooling tends to blur the boundaries between schoolwork and homework. My son had scheduled time where he and I sat together, and I explained lessons to him. He also had independent study time for reading, solving problems, and writing compositions, etc. Anytime he couldn’t figure something out on his own, I was always available to help. This seemed like a good idea at the time, as it worked well for both of us. Yet, now that he is 18 and in college, I realize I still have a tendency to help him figure things out when he is stuck. Oh-Crap! This is NOT good. I have to hold myself back—give him the time and space to find his own solutions. I need to make myself scarce. It’s awfully tempting to jump in and try to rescue him when I see him floundering. I need to divert my attention.

Which brings me to another cringing realization: In order to focus on certain parts of my life, I have neglected some other areas. Parenting and homeschooling have absorbed most of my time and energy over the last 18 years. I’ve put a lot of things on the back burner during this time—and you know what happens when you leave a dish unattended on the back burner for too long—it gets burned. Oh…I occasionally took the time to stir these neglected areas—promising myself that I would pay attention as soon as I got this or that done. But, inevitably some new project or crisis would come up and occupy my time and energy. I also excused my neglect by renaming it dedication. This attitude allowed me to be cavalier about my marriage and my friendships. I used it to justify my procrastination. I would defer investing in my physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual health.

What do I do with these cringing realizations—these Oh-Crap-Moments? Well, it’s similar to stepping in some dog doo-doo. Once you recognize it for what it is, you’ve got to clean your shoes before you spread the mess any further. And once you figure out how much effort it takes to rectify your blunders, you watch your step and avoid future piles of doo-doo.