Finding Balance

Most of us have heard of the seven deadly sins: pride, greed, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth.  Any virtue taken to an extreme can be destructive.

“The seven deadly sins might very well have started out as ambition, relaxation, awareness of one's good work, righteous anger, a healthy sexuality, and enjoying a good meal. It's all a matter of degree.” (“When Virtue becomes Vice” by Mary Loftus)

Take for example the ability to enjoy a good meal—a virtue that is inherent in most of us at some point. Yet this trait can warp into either gluttony or an eating disorder when taken to extremes. What causes these excessive behaviors? Is it a lack of self-control or an inability to find contentment?

A friend gave me a large bag of homegrown tomatoes yesterday. In their natural state, they were firm, their skins taut, shiny, and bright, with all their nutrients intact. As I boiled them, the skins cracked and peeled off. As the cell walls disintegrated, the flesh became soft, and fell apart. The longer I cooked them, the volume was reduced. The sauce became concentrated. I knew some of the nutrients were lost. The farther we get from our nature, the more likely we are to lose our essence and balance.

We all know that moderation is important, but very few of us can maintain a good balance in all areas. I notice that my habits become more extreme as I age, and also when I am weary. For example, when I am tired I am more likely to indulge in gluttony and sloth. As I get older, my habits tend to get concentrated—frugality turns into stinginess, caution turns to fear, and impatience turns into grumpiness.

 “Finding balance is more an internal matter than a superficial allotment of time. You need to know what is most important to you right now, what you need to build on for the future, which tasks or habits are draining your time and attention, and how much recovery time you need. The most important virtues today may in fact prove to be nimbleness and adaptability. Achieving balance ultimately rests on having courage…The courage to make difficult choices, to exclude other possibilities in order to choose the one that suits you best, to let go of fearing the disapproval or disappointment of others." (“When Virtue becomes Vice” by Mary Loftus) http://www.psychologytoday.com/em/131239

I have to stretch physically, mentally, and spiritually to increase my flexibility. In order to conserve my limited energy, I must choose my engagements more carefully. When there are multiple choices, I have to choose the best and eliminate the rest. As a middle-aged woman, I no longer have the time to seek approval from others. The only question that I need to ask myself is: Will I be disappointed in myself if I go down this path?