Childhood Do-Over

Have you ever wished that you could redo your childhood—repeat the good memories, make changes to the bad memories? Of course we can’t erase the traumatic events or recapture the innocence of our youth, but we can nurture and heal the child that is still within us.

We all have different personal narratives, thus, our needs and desires will be varied. If you had a wonderful childhood, you might just want to repeat some of the experiences. Others might want to make up for what they missed out on. One of the differences between childhood and adulthood is that children have very little power over their circumstances. As adults, we now have choices. We can choose to nourish ourselves and not accept abuse from ourselves or from others.

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.” (Regina Brett)

After I read the above quote, I sat down and thought about different ways I could feed and care for my inner child. I thought about all the things that were important to me as a child, the things I craved. I distilled these desires into manageable, grown-up treats that I could grant myself:

Time—More than anything, I wanted someone to take time for me, to be present, to be there for me. Now, I can choose to take time for myself.

Privacy and Quiet—I had very little privacy as a child. Now, I can choose to have my own space, to get away from crowds, even if it means running outside, or shutting the door to a room, or putting on earplugs.

Stability—We moved around a lot when I was a child. I craved routine, order, and a sense of belonging. Now, I can choose to maintain a routine for myself. I can keep my home in order (or at least clean my desk). I’ve created all sorts of traditions for my family—from theme dinners on certain nights of the week and weekly dates with my husband, to our own unique, holiday customs.

Love—I wanted to love and feel loved. I wanted someone/something to take care of and to feel cherished by someone. Now, I have my husband, my son, my dog, my friends, my home, my yard, and the birds on my porch to take care of—and I feel this love coming back to me.

Little Pleasures—There are many little pleasures that bring me great joy even though I’m grown up: books, journals, office supplies, cookies, salty snacks, eating in bed, pretty earrings, shoes, nesting supplies (home décor), being in nature, running, making lists, writing, etc. I’m reluctant to allow myself these little pleasures—it feels indulgent. Now, I can choose to give myself little pleasures, especially when it doesn’t take much away from others.

Playdates—I don’t ever remember having a ‘playdate’ as a child. Unfortunately, my parents’ friends rarely had kids our age, and we came from a culture that didn’t see much need for catering to kids. Now, I can choose to have ‘playdates’—I can invite my friends to my home, or go out for a walk with them, or meet them for coffee, or go to the library with them. This is one of my favorite parts of being a grown-up. I get to hang out with the people I enjoy rather than always being stuck with people I dread.

How about you? What are the ways that you would choose to nourish and cherish your inner child?