Unhook from the Crazy Train

I need to disengage myself from the crazy train. I’ve been hooked on to this wildly-careening engine way too long. Why? Mainly, just out of habit and a sense of obligation, duty, and loyalty. But now I’m realizing how much this habit is costing me. The chaos is making me woozy. The delusional thinking is affecting everyone else who is connected to me.

How can one disengage from toxic relationships, conversations, or situations?

You have to figure out what engages you into these unhealthy predicaments in the first place: The desire for approval, love, or acceptance? A distaste of disapproval and rejection? The yearning to be validated as a good person? The need to prove you are right?

When you want to disentangle yourself from a mess, the first thing to do is observe. Go inside of yourself and become aware of your longings, feelings, and voids. Sort through the mess carefully, and detach yourself from whatever is keeping you trapped. Detachment involves a certain amount of indifference to other people’s reactions. Don’t defend or explain yourself. Don’t try to persuade others to accept your viewpoint. Don’t take ownership for their feelings.

However, do take responsibility for your own care. Don’t abandon yourself. Don’t try to numb yourself with distractions or addictions. Don’t squash your own feelings or internalize shame for not meeting other people’s expectations. Don’t participate with those who are abusing you. Don’t join in with self-bashing. Instead, love and take care of your fragile heart. 

Don’t cooperate with others who are abusing themselves either. The crazy train is emboldened by others who follow behind. The more cars that are hooked on, the more valid it feels. So gently unhook yourself from the derangement; disentangle from the drama; disengage from the chaos.