Defending Boundaries

I grew up in an environment with a lot of restrictions, but very few boundaries. My childhood was filled with a lot of rules and regulations. I dressed, smiled, ate, prayed and acted according to other people’s standards. There was very little freedom to express myself or think for myself. Yet I was exposed and vulnerable to invasion. The intruders could come in, but I couldn’t get out. It was much like a prison, where those in power imposed restrictions, but the weaker prisoners had very little choice over what happened to them.

As an adult, I have more power. Even then, boundaries are difficult to establish and enforce. I’m often tempted to take the path of least resistance—to abandon my personal boundaries—so as to appease others. I justify it as the Christian thing to do—following the biblical instructions to turn the other cheek, walk the extra mile, and give up your coat to the oppressor. (Matt. 5:38-42)

Yet, I have found that those who capitulate to oppression get violated over and over.

Martin Luther King discussed three different ways that the oppressed usually deal with oppressors: Violence, Resignation, or Non-Cooperation. I found what he said about the trap of capitulation particularly insightful:

 “Another way is to acquiesce and to give in, to resign yourself to the oppression. Some people do that. They discover the difficulties of the wilderness moving into the promised land, and they would rather go back to the despots of Egypt because it’s difficult to get in the promised land. And so they resign themselves to the fate of oppression; they somehow acquiesce to this thing. But that too isn’t the way because non-cooperation with evil is as much a moral obligation as is cooperation with good.” (from the sermon, “Loving Your Enemies” by Martin Luther King)  

How can we use these concepts of Civil Resistance to establish and enforce the boundaries that protect our individual freedoms? How can we effectively stand our ground against those who infringe on our personal rights? We can choose to not cooperate. When someone attempts to coerce us into any thought, behavior, or activity that we are ideologically opposed to, we have the choice to not participate. We can express our disagreement non-violently, yet refuse to go along with their wrongdoing. This might give rise to conflict, injustice, and self-destruction. Civil Resistance is never easy, but the alternative—acquiescing your personal boundaries—is even more arduous in the long run.