Counting My Chariots

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.” (Psalm 20:7 NIV)

One morning, I was ruminating over the various stressors in my life. I could feel my anxiety simmering to a boil. As a coping mechanism, I started thinking of past trials and how much better off I was now to deal with things: I am older and wiser. My child is grown. My faith is stronger. I have a support system. I have more resources than before.

I reminded myself of how much worse it could be: There are people with much bigger problems. In comparison, mine are not so bad. Plus, I have a ton of stuff to be grateful for. I really should be more positive. 

As this mental chatter continued, the following phrase suddenly popped into my mind: 

“Quit counting your chariots!”

What was that supposed to mean? 

I thought my coping mechanisms were wise and therapeutic. But I had wandered off track.  Instead of trusting in God, I was trying to reassure myself with prior experiences of resilience. I was counting my chariots and horses--my strengths, my wisdom, my resources. I was not going to win any battles this way. Neither improved circumstances nor my resources were going to make much difference. God’s character and strength would determine the outcome. I redirected my thoughts. 

It was God who got me through prior trials. 

God is trustworthy. 

I shall solely depend on His grace and love.