I’ve been on the same train of thought for a few days now. I’m still not done processing it.
How do we know when to make binding commitments, to pursue our dreams, to invest in something? How do we use our strengths to climb out of holes? When do we know when, “Yes, we can!” needs to become, “Yes, we should”?
I lay everything out before God: my strengths, my weaknesses, my aspirations, my motives, my desire for affirmation, my vanity, my anxieties, my yearning for happiness, my eagerness to please my loved ones, my predilection for security, my desire to do God’s will, to be a conduit for His love, to bring Him glory. I ask the Holy Spirit to sort through all of this and to help me come up with a plan. I write everything down. I ask for HIS power and wisdom.
I invest my time and energy into projects, once I feel I have God’s approval. I consult Him daily. I have to admit that as soon as I hit obstacles, I question if I heard God right! When I’m tempted to quit, I pause to pray. I call out to God for help. I express my frustrations. I ask for His affirmation. Sometimes this takes a very long time to come, because my insecurities are battling within me. Eventually, His peace comes over me, and I resume on the path He has laid out.
streams
Monday, April 30, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Stumbling into Bondage
Yesterday, I wrote about how our strengths can trip us up. This got me thinking of how often our abilities lead us into positions of bondage.
Some home owners have mortgaged their lives to buy and maintain their dream homes. Others are shackled by their careers. Some are limited by their relationships. The more we invest in something, the more power it has over us. We get tied up in our roles, in our talents, by our accomplishments. We work really hard and devote our lives to digging our own holes.
A friend of mine, who was physically strong, routinely lifted heavy objects by herself. She has a bad back now. I used to tell her: “Just because you have the ability to do something, doesn’t mean you should.”
I’ve had to remind myself of this on a daily basis:
-Just because you can afford it, doesn’t mean you should buy it.
-Just because you can clean up someone else’s mess, doesn’t mean you should.
-Just because you can say whatever you want, doesn’t mean you should.
-Just because you have incredible potential, multiple talents, and unlimited opportunities, doesn’t mean you should pursue success at the expense of everything else.
In an effort to prove our worth, we tend to bind ourselves in ways that cause damage in the long run.
Still searching…
Some home owners have mortgaged their lives to buy and maintain their dream homes. Others are shackled by their careers. Some are limited by their relationships. The more we invest in something, the more power it has over us. We get tied up in our roles, in our talents, by our accomplishments. We work really hard and devote our lives to digging our own holes.
A friend of mine, who was physically strong, routinely lifted heavy objects by herself. She has a bad back now. I used to tell her: “Just because you have the ability to do something, doesn’t mean you should.”
I’ve had to remind myself of this on a daily basis:
-Just because you can afford it, doesn’t mean you should buy it.
-Just because you can clean up someone else’s mess, doesn’t mean you should.
-Just because you can say whatever you want, doesn’t mean you should.
-Just because you have incredible potential, multiple talents, and unlimited opportunities, doesn’t mean you should pursue success at the expense of everything else.
In an effort to prove our worth, we tend to bind ourselves in ways that cause damage in the long run.
Still searching…
Friday, April 27, 2012
Tripped up by Strength
“You have remained true to God under great and intense trials--now beware of the undercurrent… Unguarded strength is actually a double weakness, because that is where the least likely temptations will be effective in sapping strength. The Bible characters stumbled over their strong points, never their weak ones.” (My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers)
Normally we think of our weaknesses as leading to temptations. If you have a weakness for chocolate, you are more likely to guard yourself when walking by a candy store. But let’s say you are a great musician and a great cook. Your musical skills give you public accolades, and you feel energized when you perform on stage. On the other hand, cooking feeds your family, but it also leaves you alone in the kitchen with a lot of dirty dishes. The temptation to pursue the strength that brings you more satisfaction is subtle, yet justifiable. Especially if these strengths lead to greater financial rewards, respect in the community, and self-sufficiency. Or to put it more bluntly, we are tempted to use the strengths that lead to money, prestige and power.
How can we guard against stumbling over our strengths? First, we must be aware of all our personal assets, including the freedom to make choices, money, education, health, time, skills, family, friends, talents, etc. Then, we must carefully consider how each of these abilities might lead us away from God’s will. If you have the freedom to make choices, what motivates you to make one choice over the other? If you have money or an education, do you use it for self-gratification? Do you use your health, time, skills, and talents for self-glorification? Are your relationships and connections leading you closer to God, or are they more of a distraction?
Searching for answers…
Normally we think of our weaknesses as leading to temptations. If you have a weakness for chocolate, you are more likely to guard yourself when walking by a candy store. But let’s say you are a great musician and a great cook. Your musical skills give you public accolades, and you feel energized when you perform on stage. On the other hand, cooking feeds your family, but it also leaves you alone in the kitchen with a lot of dirty dishes. The temptation to pursue the strength that brings you more satisfaction is subtle, yet justifiable. Especially if these strengths lead to greater financial rewards, respect in the community, and self-sufficiency. Or to put it more bluntly, we are tempted to use the strengths that lead to money, prestige and power.
How can we guard against stumbling over our strengths? First, we must be aware of all our personal assets, including the freedom to make choices, money, education, health, time, skills, family, friends, talents, etc. Then, we must carefully consider how each of these abilities might lead us away from God’s will. If you have the freedom to make choices, what motivates you to make one choice over the other? If you have money or an education, do you use it for self-gratification? Do you use your health, time, skills, and talents for self-glorification? Are your relationships and connections leading you closer to God, or are they more of a distraction?
Searching for answers…
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Bandwidth Hogs
In computing jargon, bandwidth is the rate of data transfer. But in colloquial language, it means the resources needed to complete a task or project. Thus, a bandwidth hog is any program or application that takes up a lot of resources at the expense of others.
I’m starting to be aware of bandwidth hogs in my life. Certain projects or habits take up an inordinate amount of resources. Before I set out on new ventures, I consider my limited resources of time and energy.
Let’s say I’m thinking of committing to a new project or job. How will this affect the other commitments in my life? What other areas will have to be neglected? Who will suffer?
Certain careers suck up more bandwidth than others. I’ve noticed that high-powered jobs tend to leave very little margin for anything else. How much are we willing to sacrifice for success? I’m willing to give up leisure time and a cushy lifestyle. I understand that hard work is a prerequisite to reach goals. But I am not willing to offer up my family, relinquish my relationships, or diminish my soul for any aspiration.
“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” (Mark 8 :36 NLT)
I’m starting to be aware of bandwidth hogs in my life. Certain projects or habits take up an inordinate amount of resources. Before I set out on new ventures, I consider my limited resources of time and energy.
Let’s say I’m thinking of committing to a new project or job. How will this affect the other commitments in my life? What other areas will have to be neglected? Who will suffer?
Certain careers suck up more bandwidth than others. I’ve noticed that high-powered jobs tend to leave very little margin for anything else. How much are we willing to sacrifice for success? I’m willing to give up leisure time and a cushy lifestyle. I understand that hard work is a prerequisite to reach goals. But I am not willing to offer up my family, relinquish my relationships, or diminish my soul for any aspiration.
“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” (Mark 8 :36 NLT)
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Spiritual Vacancy
Empty houses can attract unsavory inhabitants. They can become a haven for vandalism, drug use, and other illicit activities. They are a safety concern to the whole neighborhood.
Similarly, souls devoid of God’s Spirit can become a magnet for evil. Jesus speaks of this in Matthew 12 and Luke 11.
“On return it (the evil spirit) finds the person spotlessly clean, but vacant. It then runs out and rounds up seven other spirits more evil than itself and they all move in, whooping it up… You may think you have cleaned out the junk from your lives and gotten ready for God, but you weren’t hospitable to my kingdom message, and now all the devils are moving back in!” (Matthew 12:43-45 MSG)
Long periods of spiritual vacancy can be harmful to one’s soul. Some of us would rather stay vacant than allow an incomprehensible God into our lives. We want to know, be absolutely sure, before we hand over the keys to our soul. We don’t recognize the danger in the void. Flirting with agnosticism can open up our souls to harmful squatters.
We must accept that it is impossible to understand God fully with our human minds. We may have doubts about the details, but we can be sure of this: A life with God is better than a life without God.
Similarly, souls devoid of God’s Spirit can become a magnet for evil. Jesus speaks of this in Matthew 12 and Luke 11.
“On return it (the evil spirit) finds the person spotlessly clean, but vacant. It then runs out and rounds up seven other spirits more evil than itself and they all move in, whooping it up… You may think you have cleaned out the junk from your lives and gotten ready for God, but you weren’t hospitable to my kingdom message, and now all the devils are moving back in!” (Matthew 12:43-45 MSG)
Long periods of spiritual vacancy can be harmful to one’s soul. Some of us would rather stay vacant than allow an incomprehensible God into our lives. We want to know, be absolutely sure, before we hand over the keys to our soul. We don’t recognize the danger in the void. Flirting with agnosticism can open up our souls to harmful squatters.
We must accept that it is impossible to understand God fully with our human minds. We may have doubts about the details, but we can be sure of this: A life with God is better than a life without God.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Rising to the occasion
I’ve been noticing that two people can go through similar crises and come out completely different from each other. I have a friend who went through a terrible divorce but came out of the experience as a stronger, sweeter, more grace-filled woman than she was before. On the other hand, another divorced woman I know seems brittle and broken. I’ve noticed similar differences among people who have gone through health issues, death in their families, financial troubles, etc.
This reminded me of the following verse: “God’s kingdom (sphere of influence) is like yeast that a woman works into dozens of loaves of barley bread--and waits while the dough rises.” (Matthew 13:33 MSG)
When faith is worked into our lives and allowed some time to grow and rise, we react differently to crises. When we go through fire, we are not as frangible as before. God works the gift of faith into our lives. Under ideal conditions, we rise to His expectations; we go through the fire and come out as fragrant as freshly baked bread. Yet, like all bread, we are meant to be broken, to be torn apart, to provide sustenance for others.
This reminded me of the following verse: “God’s kingdom (sphere of influence) is like yeast that a woman works into dozens of loaves of barley bread--and waits while the dough rises.” (Matthew 13:33 MSG)
When faith is worked into our lives and allowed some time to grow and rise, we react differently to crises. When we go through fire, we are not as frangible as before. God works the gift of faith into our lives. Under ideal conditions, we rise to His expectations; we go through the fire and come out as fragrant as freshly baked bread. Yet, like all bread, we are meant to be broken, to be torn apart, to provide sustenance for others.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Life-Crashers
The Home and Garden channel (HGTV) has a series of shows called Room-crashers, Bath-crashers, etc. The hosts go to home improvement stores and ambush customers who are planning remodeling projects. The host offers to remodel a room in 3 days, free of charge. But there’s a catch. The homeowner has to agree to let the designer do whatever he wants. If a client refuses the offer of a free remodel, the host just moves on to someone else.
As I’m watching this show, I’m thinking to myself… No way would I let some strange guy come into my house and decide what my bathroom is going to look like!
I think I have a similar attitude toward faith. Our Lord has offered to remodel my life, free of charge. (The 3-day parallel wasn’t lost on me either!) He has offered to change my life, if I can hand over control to Him. I’m not so sure I want to do this. What if His design doesn’t suit my taste?
If I relinquish control and trust God, He could rebuild me in ways beyond what I could envision.
“I’m about to rebuild you with stones of turquoise, lay your foundations with sapphires, construct your towers with rubies… You’ll be built solid, grounded in righteousness, far from any trouble,-- nothing to fear.” (Isaiah 54:11-17 MSG)
As I’m watching this show, I’m thinking to myself… No way would I let some strange guy come into my house and decide what my bathroom is going to look like!
I think I have a similar attitude toward faith. Our Lord has offered to remodel my life, free of charge. (The 3-day parallel wasn’t lost on me either!) He has offered to change my life, if I can hand over control to Him. I’m not so sure I want to do this. What if His design doesn’t suit my taste?
If I relinquish control and trust God, He could rebuild me in ways beyond what I could envision.
“I’m about to rebuild you with stones of turquoise, lay your foundations with sapphires, construct your towers with rubies… You’ll be built solid, grounded in righteousness, far from any trouble,-- nothing to fear.” (Isaiah 54:11-17 MSG)
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Compassion Fatigue
Most do-gooders eventually run out of compassion. We get tired of the politics, the sense of entitlement, the lack of visible progress. Compassion fatigue is a common cause of volunteer burn-out.
When I’m helping my husband move heavy objects, he always carries the bulk of the weight, and I’m mostly just holding up my side so it doesn’t drag on the ground. I think being yoked with God must be similar. Since He is stronger, I’m sure he takes on the bulk of the burden. Our role is to stay in step and keep our side from dragging. This takes some effort, a good attitude, and a willingness to let God lead.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matt. 28-30 MSG)
We can serve alongside God without getting exhausted, if we acknowledge that He is stronger and smarter than we are. God’s Spirit within us is an inexhaustible source of compassion.
When I’m helping my husband move heavy objects, he always carries the bulk of the weight, and I’m mostly just holding up my side so it doesn’t drag on the ground. I think being yoked with God must be similar. Since He is stronger, I’m sure he takes on the bulk of the burden. Our role is to stay in step and keep our side from dragging. This takes some effort, a good attitude, and a willingness to let God lead.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." (Matt. 28-30 MSG)
We can serve alongside God without getting exhausted, if we acknowledge that He is stronger and smarter than we are. God’s Spirit within us is an inexhaustible source of compassion.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Soul Mate
A friend of mine, who is a divorced, single mom, asked me to pray that God would send her a soul mate.
I immediately sent out a prayer for her. I also thanked God for my husband, my longest companion. We have faced many trials together, and he has been fighting alongside me for the last 25 years.
I have also been blessed with Soul-sisters. My real sister, who has gone through so much with me, as well as my good friends who understand me to the core.
We all desire someone to have deep, intimate conversations with, someone we can rely on, lean on--someone to share our suffering, our fears, and our hopes. We want to connect at the soul level.
Yet I wonder if any human being can know us as intimately as our Lord? He has been with us from the beginning, even before our souls were formed. He has been our constant companion, fought every battle, and been there to clean up every mess. He goes before us, bearing the brunt of the enemy’s attacks.
“The amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, the extravagant love of God, the intimate friendship of the Holy Spirit, be with all of you.”
(2 Corinthians 13:13-24 MSG)
I immediately sent out a prayer for her. I also thanked God for my husband, my longest companion. We have faced many trials together, and he has been fighting alongside me for the last 25 years.
I have also been blessed with Soul-sisters. My real sister, who has gone through so much with me, as well as my good friends who understand me to the core.
We all desire someone to have deep, intimate conversations with, someone we can rely on, lean on--someone to share our suffering, our fears, and our hopes. We want to connect at the soul level.
Yet I wonder if any human being can know us as intimately as our Lord? He has been with us from the beginning, even before our souls were formed. He has been our constant companion, fought every battle, and been there to clean up every mess. He goes before us, bearing the brunt of the enemy’s attacks.
“The amazing grace of the Master, Jesus Christ, the extravagant love of God, the intimate friendship of the Holy Spirit, be with all of you.”
(2 Corinthians 13:13-24 MSG)
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Power Struggle
Sin is anything that separates us from God. And the desire to hang on to power over our own lives is usually the biggest barrier between us and God.
Submission implies wimpiness. Surrender is equated with defeat. Giving up control over our own lives, even if it is to God, is unpalatable to some. We realize we don’t have power over many things. So we struggle to maintain control over the few choices we do have. Like a toddler, we stubbornly insist on our way. We cling to our individual rights. Like a rebellious teen, we have adolescent power struggles with our Father in heaven: Why can’t you just support me and quit trying to control me?!”
God can’t help us as long as we insist on our own way. Imagine a 2-year-old who insists on wearing his super-man pajamas everywhere. There is only so much a parent can do to make this child look a little less ridiculous! Since this is harmless, most parents will humor the child and just go along with it. But when a teen asserts his independence in self-destructive ways, parents tend to be a bit less lenient.
Our Father, in heaven tries to protect us from self-destruction. Yet we put up barriers and only allow His input into certain areas of our lives. We insist on maintaining power over own lives, even when it’s to our own detriment.
Submission implies wimpiness. Surrender is equated with defeat. Giving up control over our own lives, even if it is to God, is unpalatable to some. We realize we don’t have power over many things. So we struggle to maintain control over the few choices we do have. Like a toddler, we stubbornly insist on our way. We cling to our individual rights. Like a rebellious teen, we have adolescent power struggles with our Father in heaven: Why can’t you just support me and quit trying to control me?!”
God can’t help us as long as we insist on our own way. Imagine a 2-year-old who insists on wearing his super-man pajamas everywhere. There is only so much a parent can do to make this child look a little less ridiculous! Since this is harmless, most parents will humor the child and just go along with it. But when a teen asserts his independence in self-destructive ways, parents tend to be a bit less lenient.
Our Father, in heaven tries to protect us from self-destruction. Yet we put up barriers and only allow His input into certain areas of our lives. We insist on maintaining power over own lives, even when it’s to our own detriment.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Shallow Foundations
I’ve been reading about the latest earthquakes near Indonesia. People are scared. They remember the devastating tsunami of 2004. Indonesia is near several fault lines. Earthquakes and tsunamis are inevitable in this part of the world. Every spring, those living near ‘Tornado Alley’ in the U.S. face a similar scary situation. Families and homes are torn apart by horrific twisters.
“When the earth quakes and its people live in turmoil, I am the one who keeps its foundations firm.” (Psalm 75:3 NLT)
If we build our lives on anything other than God, it is likely to crumble in a crisis. How do we make sure that our footings go deep into the bedrock of Christ?
A friend of mine, who is a home builder, explained how they decide the depth of foundations when building homes. They have to go down deep enough to hit undisturbed soil, also called virgin soil.
Our lives, like soil, consist of many layers. Many people choose to build on their current circumstances. Others reach a bit farther down, to their past experiences. Some dig even deeper and set up foundations on their wounded layers. These unstable layers are prone to shrinking, softening, compacting, and swelling. All this pressure can cause our lives to bow and buckle inward.
We must build our foundations on undisturbed turf. So we have to dig deeper than our current circumstances, our past experiences, and our deep childhood wounds. Once we have reached deep enough to hit undisturbed soil, how do we gird our lives to this level of bedrock?
“I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock.” (Luke 6:48 NLT)
Faith is the anchor bolt that attaches our lives to the foundation. Obedience is the rebar that secures our footings in Christ. Trust is the concrete that holds it all together.
“When the earth quakes and its people live in turmoil, I am the one who keeps its foundations firm.” (Psalm 75:3 NLT)
If we build our lives on anything other than God, it is likely to crumble in a crisis. How do we make sure that our footings go deep into the bedrock of Christ?
A friend of mine, who is a home builder, explained how they decide the depth of foundations when building homes. They have to go down deep enough to hit undisturbed soil, also called virgin soil.
Our lives, like soil, consist of many layers. Many people choose to build on their current circumstances. Others reach a bit farther down, to their past experiences. Some dig even deeper and set up foundations on their wounded layers. These unstable layers are prone to shrinking, softening, compacting, and swelling. All this pressure can cause our lives to bow and buckle inward.
We must build our foundations on undisturbed turf. So we have to dig deeper than our current circumstances, our past experiences, and our deep childhood wounds. Once we have reached deep enough to hit undisturbed soil, how do we gird our lives to this level of bedrock?
“I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock.” (Luke 6:48 NLT)
Faith is the anchor bolt that attaches our lives to the foundation. Obedience is the rebar that secures our footings in Christ. Trust is the concrete that holds it all together.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
In the Midst of Pain
Why is it so much harder for me to sense God when I’m in pain?
When all is well and I’m sitting in my comfy chair by my window, with a pile of books by my side, I have no problem recognizing God. Yet in the midst of a crisis, I can’t hear, feel, or sense God. It’s like I’m in a soundproof booth, and all I hear is my own anguished cries for help.
My friend JW and I were discussing this subject, and she said something profound. She said that wounds from our past get in the way of our ability to trust God. Thick scar tissue reduces our sensitivity to God.
Sometimes pain dulls our senses. When I was in labor, I was so distracted by the pain that I only had a vague sense of what my husband was doing or where he was during the whole process. Once our baby was born, I realized that my husband had been right by my side the whole time, holding my hand. I bet if he weren’t with me at all, I would have felt much worse.
I think God is present during times of suffering. Sometimes the pain is so overwhelming that we fail to sense His comforting spirit by our side, holding
our hand, whispering encouragement.
Every trial births new strength in us. Increased pressure transforms us, brings forth fresh perspective. And God is right there with us, whether we sense Him or not.
When all is well and I’m sitting in my comfy chair by my window, with a pile of books by my side, I have no problem recognizing God. Yet in the midst of a crisis, I can’t hear, feel, or sense God. It’s like I’m in a soundproof booth, and all I hear is my own anguished cries for help.
My friend JW and I were discussing this subject, and she said something profound. She said that wounds from our past get in the way of our ability to trust God. Thick scar tissue reduces our sensitivity to God.
Sometimes pain dulls our senses. When I was in labor, I was so distracted by the pain that I only had a vague sense of what my husband was doing or where he was during the whole process. Once our baby was born, I realized that my husband had been right by my side the whole time, holding my hand. I bet if he weren’t with me at all, I would have felt much worse.
I think God is present during times of suffering. Sometimes the pain is so overwhelming that we fail to sense His comforting spirit by our side, holding
our hand, whispering encouragement.
Every trial births new strength in us. Increased pressure transforms us, brings forth fresh perspective. And God is right there with us, whether we sense Him or not.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Confidence in Christ
I come from a family of skeptics. Its part of our spiritual genetics. The apostle that ministered to my ancestors was Doubting Thomas. And like him, we all insist on experiencing Christ for ourselves. We have long, heated theological discussions at family reunions. Faith issues are not just accepted as obvious truths, but hashed out according to individual experiences and opinions.
So I was surprised when my Dad, who was recently diagnosed with cancer, made the following statement: “My confidence is in Christ. Whether I am healed or whether I die early, I feel ready to accept it. I am confident in Christ!”
My Dad’s faith is not based on positive results. He didn’t say that he is depending on Christ to heal him. He has gone beyond belief, faith and trust to confidence in Christ.
Is this level of certainty and boldness about Christ possible for those who have not faced the possibility of death? I want to be courageous, fearless, but most of the time I feel more like piglet from “Winnie the Pooh”. My faith is timid, cautious, shaky.
Yet, I have hope that my spiritual legacy will be different. I’ve learned a lot from my Dad already and I hope to learn from his latest experiences as well. I pray that I inherit this confidence in Christ!
So I was surprised when my Dad, who was recently diagnosed with cancer, made the following statement: “My confidence is in Christ. Whether I am healed or whether I die early, I feel ready to accept it. I am confident in Christ!”
My Dad’s faith is not based on positive results. He didn’t say that he is depending on Christ to heal him. He has gone beyond belief, faith and trust to confidence in Christ.
Is this level of certainty and boldness about Christ possible for those who have not faced the possibility of death? I want to be courageous, fearless, but most of the time I feel more like piglet from “Winnie the Pooh”. My faith is timid, cautious, shaky.
Yet, I have hope that my spiritual legacy will be different. I’ve learned a lot from my Dad already and I hope to learn from his latest experiences as well. I pray that I inherit this confidence in Christ!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Side-by-Side Play
Side-by-Side Play (also called Parallel Play) is a developmental stage in young children. This is when a child plays alongside others, mimicking their actions, yet still detached. The next stage of development is Cooperative Play. At this stage, the child is interested and involved with the other participants in mutual activities.
I’ve also noticed that some adults are satisfied with this sort of side-by-side social interaction. They get together in large groups and have superficial conversations. They mimic each other, yet remain detached.
As a grown-up, I don’t want to play like this anymore. I want to have real, substantive relationships. I’ve moved beyond side-by-side play. Yet, many people see my attitude as uncooperative, a refusal to participate in the social game.
I’m like a kid in the sandbox who starts in on deep conversations without the customary chit-chat. My intensity scares off most people. I don’t do light relationships. I used to know how to play that game. I’m sure I could figure it out again, but I’m not sure I want to regress to that level. This is also why I don’t like large gatherings. It’s impossible to have a real connection with anyone at one of these social events. I’ve been told I need to accept others who are still in other stages of development, that I need to just sit in the sandbox and play nice.
I’m not sure I agree. But I guess I can give it a try.
I’ve also noticed that some adults are satisfied with this sort of side-by-side social interaction. They get together in large groups and have superficial conversations. They mimic each other, yet remain detached.
As a grown-up, I don’t want to play like this anymore. I want to have real, substantive relationships. I’ve moved beyond side-by-side play. Yet, many people see my attitude as uncooperative, a refusal to participate in the social game.
I’m like a kid in the sandbox who starts in on deep conversations without the customary chit-chat. My intensity scares off most people. I don’t do light relationships. I used to know how to play that game. I’m sure I could figure it out again, but I’m not sure I want to regress to that level. This is also why I don’t like large gatherings. It’s impossible to have a real connection with anyone at one of these social events. I’ve been told I need to accept others who are still in other stages of development, that I need to just sit in the sandbox and play nice.
I’m not sure I agree. But I guess I can give it a try.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Fibrous Friends
Yesterday I wrote about emotional constipation. One of the ways to prevent emotional constipation is to have fibrous friends. Fibrous friends are substantive, real, unprocessed, and good for you.
Every morning, as I eat my bran flakes, I call a certain friend. We go over our individual plans for the day, and we fill each other in on whatever might have happened since we last talked. I like to run things by her, because I know she’ll set me straight if I’m about to do something stupid.
I have several other friends who act as checks and balances for my conscience. Some are wise spiritual advisors who push me through difficult passages of life. These friends faithfully walk alongside me, motivating and encouraging me by sharing their own experiences.
Frequently, these fibrous friends are tough on me. They say things that are hard to chew, difficult to swallow. Yet without these friends, my soul would be in bad shape. So I seek out these substantive relationships. Now that I’ve trained myself to actually enjoy these organic companions, my palate no longer craves highly processed relationships filled with artificial additives.
Every morning, as I eat my bran flakes, I call a certain friend. We go over our individual plans for the day, and we fill each other in on whatever might have happened since we last talked. I like to run things by her, because I know she’ll set me straight if I’m about to do something stupid.
I have several other friends who act as checks and balances for my conscience. Some are wise spiritual advisors who push me through difficult passages of life. These friends faithfully walk alongside me, motivating and encouraging me by sharing their own experiences.
Frequently, these fibrous friends are tough on me. They say things that are hard to chew, difficult to swallow. Yet without these friends, my soul would be in bad shape. So I seek out these substantive relationships. Now that I’ve trained myself to actually enjoy these organic companions, my palate no longer craves highly processed relationships filled with artificial additives.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Emotional Constipation
I was talking with a good friend the other morning. Each of us took turns just unloading our frustrations, worries, anxieties, and irritations. Neither of us could fix each other’s problems. Yet we felt less burdened after the gripe session.
Generally, I consider complaining a negative activity that needs to be avoided. I keep a gratefulness journal so as to maintain a positive attitude. I thank God daily for all my blessings. I point out how fortunate we are to other family members and friends. I try to focus on the positive.
Yet the negative emotions are still there. It’s a natural by-product of daily life. It builds up inside us-- blocking, bloating, weighing us down. Every so often we need to take the time to empty these grievances.
Whether it’s having a gripe session with a friend or writing in a frustration journal, we all need opportunities for lamentation. There is no use pretending we don’t have this crap inside us. When we fail to regularly discharge these emotions, it hardens and compresses, causing emotional constipation.
We have to be selective about where and when we express our despondency. We all need safe, private spaces for our groan and moan sessions. I have a few good friends who can stay neutral and don’t feel the need to immediately clean up my messes. I’m trying to be this kind of friend to others as well--a listening ear rather than a fixer, an unloading dock at a safe harbor.
Generally, I consider complaining a negative activity that needs to be avoided. I keep a gratefulness journal so as to maintain a positive attitude. I thank God daily for all my blessings. I point out how fortunate we are to other family members and friends. I try to focus on the positive.
Yet the negative emotions are still there. It’s a natural by-product of daily life. It builds up inside us-- blocking, bloating, weighing us down. Every so often we need to take the time to empty these grievances.
Whether it’s having a gripe session with a friend or writing in a frustration journal, we all need opportunities for lamentation. There is no use pretending we don’t have this crap inside us. When we fail to regularly discharge these emotions, it hardens and compresses, causing emotional constipation.
We have to be selective about where and when we express our despondency. We all need safe, private spaces for our groan and moan sessions. I have a few good friends who can stay neutral and don’t feel the need to immediately clean up my messes. I’m trying to be this kind of friend to others as well--a listening ear rather than a fixer, an unloading dock at a safe harbor.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Floating
In his book, The Jesuit Guide, James Martin compares faith to floating. I can’t find the exact quote, but here’s the gist of it: Church teaches us how to swim but not necessarily how to float.
When I first learned to swim as a kid, I tried splashing around mimicking the motions that I saw others doing. I expended a lot of energy, thrashing my arms and legs, just to keep from drowning. Eventually, I found that there was some place inside me that could float. Now I know to just be calm and breathe naturally. I just let the abundant water content in each of my cells find its place respective to the water outside.
Trying to explain faith to others is even harder than teaching someone to float. Most people are afraid they might drown if they are still. As soon as they notice any part of themselves sinking, they go back to thrashing around. They try to stay afloat by their own efforts rather than by finding their center of balance.
The spirit inside us is part of God’s Spirit. Once we discover this center, we just need to reach harmony with the surrounding Grace. Faith is the realization of our place in God.
When I first learned to swim as a kid, I tried splashing around mimicking the motions that I saw others doing. I expended a lot of energy, thrashing my arms and legs, just to keep from drowning. Eventually, I found that there was some place inside me that could float. Now I know to just be calm and breathe naturally. I just let the abundant water content in each of my cells find its place respective to the water outside.
Trying to explain faith to others is even harder than teaching someone to float. Most people are afraid they might drown if they are still. As soon as they notice any part of themselves sinking, they go back to thrashing around. They try to stay afloat by their own efforts rather than by finding their center of balance.
The spirit inside us is part of God’s Spirit. Once we discover this center, we just need to reach harmony with the surrounding Grace. Faith is the realization of our place in God.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Wear the Red Dress
Lyrics from the song, How you Live --by Point of Grace
Every time I hear this song, I feel convicted to live more fully. I wish this was my natural setting. But it isn’t. Instead, I wake up before sunlight, because I suffer from insomnia. I usually keep my windows closed so the house won’t get dusty. The red dress hangs in the closet, waiting for a special occasion. The good dishes stay in the cupboard, because they are a pain to wash by hand. I don’t like making messes, since I’d have to clean it up myself. I’m always asking my son to turn down the music, so I can hear myself think. I don’t like taking chances, because I’m afraid I might fail. Alas, I’ve always had a proclivity towards practical, cautious living.
So God gave me a husband that urges me to wear that red dress!
My husband shores up my crumbling courage, bolsters my confidence, pushes me past my insecurities. He encourages me to abandon my fears and self-imposed restrictions. He cajoles me out of my over-cautious, hyper-practical, intensely-serious self. He shows me how to live fully.
Wake up to the sunlight,
with your windows open
Don't hold in your anger or leave things unspoken
Wear your red dress, use your good dishes
Make a big mess and make lots of wishes
Have what you want, but want what you have
And don't spend your life lookin' back
Turn up the music, turn it up loud
Take a few chances, let it all out
Don't hold in your anger or leave things unspoken
Wear your red dress, use your good dishes
Make a big mess and make lots of wishes
Have what you want, but want what you have
And don't spend your life lookin' back
Turn up the music, turn it up loud
Take a few chances, let it all out
So God gave me a husband that urges me to wear that red dress!
My husband shores up my crumbling courage, bolsters my confidence, pushes me past my insecurities. He encourages me to abandon my fears and self-imposed restrictions. He cajoles me out of my over-cautious, hyper-practical, intensely-serious self. He shows me how to live fully.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Jesus Ahead
I was reading about the resurrection of Jesus, in Mark, chapter 16. A group of women went to the tomb to anoint Jesus’ body. “On the way they were asking each other, ‘who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?”
This verse made me smile. These women got together early in the morning, purchased burial spices, and are half way there before they consider this huge obstacle in their way!
We all want to be close to Jesus, to serve Him. But we get discouraged by the obstacles. Most of us wouldn’t even start on this journey. We would hesitate to invest our time and resources in a task without considering the huge stone that is blocking the way. We would talk ourselves out of it, while still lying in bed, early Sunday morning.
Most of us neglect to figure God into the equation.
Meanwhile, back at the tomb, the stone has been moved. Jesus is Risen!
If Jesus can rise from death, He can certainly remove road blocks that prevent us from serving Him. In fact, He is already ahead of us, taking care of details that we will face in our path.
“Jesus is going ahead of you…” (Mark 16:7 NLT)
This verse made me smile. These women got together early in the morning, purchased burial spices, and are half way there before they consider this huge obstacle in their way!
We all want to be close to Jesus, to serve Him. But we get discouraged by the obstacles. Most of us wouldn’t even start on this journey. We would hesitate to invest our time and resources in a task without considering the huge stone that is blocking the way. We would talk ourselves out of it, while still lying in bed, early Sunday morning.
Most of us neglect to figure God into the equation.
Meanwhile, back at the tomb, the stone has been moved. Jesus is Risen!
If Jesus can rise from death, He can certainly remove road blocks that prevent us from serving Him. In fact, He is already ahead of us, taking care of details that we will face in our path.
“Jesus is going ahead of you…” (Mark 16:7 NLT)
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Save Yourself
Since it is Holy week, I’ve been reading over the passages in the Bible relating to the death and resurrection of Jesus. The following verse caught my attention:
“If you are the Son of God, save yourself.” (Matt. 27:40 NLT)
I remembered reading something similar in an earlier chapter, recounting the temptation of Jesus by the devil:
“If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become loaves of Bread.” (Matt. 4:3 NLT)
“If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down.” (Matt. 4:6 ESV)
What do these incidences have in common?
One is at the beginning of Jesus’ ministry and the other is at the end. In both instances, Jesus is vulnerable. Yet, he is able to withstand the temptation to save himself. The divine spirit within trumps the human spirit. The Son of God transcends the Son of Man.
When we are vulnerable, weak, and desperate, the devil tempts us:
Save yourself, provide for yourself, take care of yourself, prove yourself.
Unlike Jesus, our human weakness overpowers the divine spirit within us. We feel compelled to save ourselves or prove ourselves, thus circumventing the display of God’s glory.
“If you are the Son of God, save yourself.” (Matt. 27:40 NLT)
I remembered reading something similar in an earlier chapter, recounting the temptation of Jesus by the devil:
“If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become loaves of Bread.” (Matt. 4:3 NLT)
“If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down.” (Matt. 4:6 ESV)
What do these incidences have in common?
One is at the beginning of Jesus’ ministry and the other is at the end. In both instances, Jesus is vulnerable. Yet, he is able to withstand the temptation to save himself. The divine spirit within trumps the human spirit. The Son of God transcends the Son of Man.
When we are vulnerable, weak, and desperate, the devil tempts us:
Save yourself, provide for yourself, take care of yourself, prove yourself.
Unlike Jesus, our human weakness overpowers the divine spirit within us. We feel compelled to save ourselves or prove ourselves, thus circumventing the display of God’s glory.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Good Friday
Jesus was not the only person in history to suffer and die on the cross. So why is His crucifixion significant?
Let’s say that there is a group of U.S. citizens being held hostage by the enemy. They are being abused, tortured, and killed in a foreign country. We’ve sent in our elite troops to try to rescue them, but they, too, end up being captured or killed. What if our President’s son decides to offer himself up in return for the release of all the hostages?! What if the son willingly gives up everything, suffers greatly, and is tortured and killed?! His death would get a lot more public attention than any other previous cases.
This scenario would never happen under human logic. We don’t negotiate with terrorists. We don’t want to send our sons and daughters into enemy territory, much less certain death. We would be aghast if our President allowed his son to sacrifice himself. We would see it as a sign of weakness.
Jesus had a choice. He had power, privilege, and absolutely no obligation to be bothered by puny human problems on earth. Yet, he willingly entered the war zone, into the enemy camp, and gave himself up so that we would be released. The significance of this choice is beyond human comprehension.
Let’s say that there is a group of U.S. citizens being held hostage by the enemy. They are being abused, tortured, and killed in a foreign country. We’ve sent in our elite troops to try to rescue them, but they, too, end up being captured or killed. What if our President’s son decides to offer himself up in return for the release of all the hostages?! What if the son willingly gives up everything, suffers greatly, and is tortured and killed?! His death would get a lot more public attention than any other previous cases.
This scenario would never happen under human logic. We don’t negotiate with terrorists. We don’t want to send our sons and daughters into enemy territory, much less certain death. We would be aghast if our President allowed his son to sacrifice himself. We would see it as a sign of weakness.
Jesus had a choice. He had power, privilege, and absolutely no obligation to be bothered by puny human problems on earth. Yet, he willingly entered the war zone, into the enemy camp, and gave himself up so that we would be released. The significance of this choice is beyond human comprehension.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Denying Jesus
“You will deny three times that you even know me.” (Matt 26:34 NLT)
Here are three ways that we routinely deny Jesus:
1. Fear - which is a lack of complete trust in Jesus.
2. Depending on our own talents and resources.
3. Being unfaithful to Jesus, by not placing Him first in our lives.
When we fail to completely trust Jesus, fear takes over. Anxiety consumes us. We act as if Jesus is not capable of handling our issues. We imply that He is not trustworthy. We deny God’s dependability.
When we look to our own talents and resources instead of relying on God, we are being disrespectful. We pretend that our God is not almighty. We deny God’s power and strength.
When we place other people, or our own self-interest before God, we are being unfaithful. As we flirt with our immediate desires, our commitment to Jesus becomes less of a priority. We deny He is Lord of our lives.
Here are three ways that we routinely deny Jesus:
1. Fear - which is a lack of complete trust in Jesus.
2. Depending on our own talents and resources.
3. Being unfaithful to Jesus, by not placing Him first in our lives.
When we fail to completely trust Jesus, fear takes over. Anxiety consumes us. We act as if Jesus is not capable of handling our issues. We imply that He is not trustworthy. We deny God’s dependability.
When we look to our own talents and resources instead of relying on God, we are being disrespectful. We pretend that our God is not almighty. We deny God’s power and strength.
When we place other people, or our own self-interest before God, we are being unfaithful. As we flirt with our immediate desires, our commitment to Jesus becomes less of a priority. We deny He is Lord of our lives.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Be Bothered
I have a neighbor who regularly walks around the perimeter of his house, inspecting everything. He says it’s a practice he developed from back in his farming days when he used to check the fences.
I have been trying to incorporate this into my spiritual life. Every evening, I sit down and review my day. I ask God to accompany me. I thank Him for all the blessings. I ask Him to point out anything that needs attention.
Spring is here and the trees have started budding. It’s time for me to go outside and check on things that have been neglected all winter. I especially check for tree saplings near our foundation. If I don’t bother to yank those out as soon as they appear, they take root and become really difficult to get rid of. Once the tree grows, the roots can damage the foundation of the house.
Sometimes I get busy or distracted, and I don’t bother to examine my life. Sin takes root. Bad attitudes grow like weeds. By the time I notice the mess, it’s overwhelming. I’m tempted to ignore the problem and just look the other way. I can’t be bothered!
I’ve noticed I am more likely to maintain my front yard rather than my back flower beds, since it is more visible to others. Similarly, I tend to address bad habits that are noticeable to others while neglecting issues that are private.
Inspect, review, examine. Be bothered. Actively remove anything that can be harmful.
I have been trying to incorporate this into my spiritual life. Every evening, I sit down and review my day. I ask God to accompany me. I thank Him for all the blessings. I ask Him to point out anything that needs attention.
Spring is here and the trees have started budding. It’s time for me to go outside and check on things that have been neglected all winter. I especially check for tree saplings near our foundation. If I don’t bother to yank those out as soon as they appear, they take root and become really difficult to get rid of. Once the tree grows, the roots can damage the foundation of the house.
Sometimes I get busy or distracted, and I don’t bother to examine my life. Sin takes root. Bad attitudes grow like weeds. By the time I notice the mess, it’s overwhelming. I’m tempted to ignore the problem and just look the other way. I can’t be bothered!
I’ve noticed I am more likely to maintain my front yard rather than my back flower beds, since it is more visible to others. Similarly, I tend to address bad habits that are noticeable to others while neglecting issues that are private.
Inspect, review, examine. Be bothered. Actively remove anything that can be harmful.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Yield
When merging onto a highway, drivers yield to each other. Making way for others is part of safe, courteous driving. Routinely, we are faced with the choice of asserting our individual rights vs. making space for the desires and rights of others. In most cases, yielding is the magnanimous thing to do.
Sometimes, we get to a fork in the road, and we yield to bondage. We make compromises that allow evil to dominate us. We give power to our insecurities, fears, desires, and selfishness. Yielding to negative influences pushes us off-course.
How can we tell when to yield and when not to yield?
I often make compromises based on the following question: Am I good enough? Am I a good enough parent, spouse, friend… person? When I make adjustments that are motivated by proving my own worthiness, I get off-center.
I can get back to center by acknowledging that God loves me. I soak in this love. I lean into His arms. I yield to Jesus. My choices become motivated by His love for me rather than my need to prove anything.
Sometimes, we get to a fork in the road, and we yield to bondage. We make compromises that allow evil to dominate us. We give power to our insecurities, fears, desires, and selfishness. Yielding to negative influences pushes us off-course.
How can we tell when to yield and when not to yield?
I often make compromises based on the following question: Am I good enough? Am I a good enough parent, spouse, friend… person? When I make adjustments that are motivated by proving my own worthiness, I get off-center.
I can get back to center by acknowledging that God loves me. I soak in this love. I lean into His arms. I yield to Jesus. My choices become motivated by His love for me rather than my need to prove anything.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Having the Mind of Christ
“You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” (Phil. 2:5 NLT)
Oswald Chambers alludes to the above verse when explaining the connection between worship and intercession:
“Worship and intercession must go together; one is impossible without the other. Intercession means raising ourselves up to the point of getting the mind of Christ regarding the person for whom we are praying.” (My Utmost For His Highest)
If you know God intimately, you can’t help but worship Him. When you are in His presence, every part of you will acknowledge His glory, His love. Worship allows you to be consumed by God’s magnitude.
During intercessory prayer, I usually lift others up to God, asking Him to bless those for whom I‘m praying. Oswald Chambers has a different approach. He suggests that we raise ourselves up to a higher level, into God’s presence. Then, we gain a godly perspective about the person or situation.
Several years ago, I was walking outside with my nephew, who was a toddler at the time. A huge dog came running up, and my nephew was scared. As I lifted him up into my arms, he calmed down. The dog was still there, but it didn’t seem as scary to him from that vantage point.
Worship elevates us into God’s arms. It allows us to see the situation from Christ’s perspective. Fear and anxiety are displaced by confident faith.
Oswald Chambers alludes to the above verse when explaining the connection between worship and intercession:
“Worship and intercession must go together; one is impossible without the other. Intercession means raising ourselves up to the point of getting the mind of Christ regarding the person for whom we are praying.” (My Utmost For His Highest)
If you know God intimately, you can’t help but worship Him. When you are in His presence, every part of you will acknowledge His glory, His love. Worship allows you to be consumed by God’s magnitude.
During intercessory prayer, I usually lift others up to God, asking Him to bless those for whom I‘m praying. Oswald Chambers has a different approach. He suggests that we raise ourselves up to a higher level, into God’s presence. Then, we gain a godly perspective about the person or situation.
Several years ago, I was walking outside with my nephew, who was a toddler at the time. A huge dog came running up, and my nephew was scared. As I lifted him up into my arms, he calmed down. The dog was still there, but it didn’t seem as scary to him from that vantage point.
Worship elevates us into God’s arms. It allows us to see the situation from Christ’s perspective. Fear and anxiety are displaced by confident faith.
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