Side-by-Side Play (also called Parallel Play) is a developmental stage in young children. This is when a child plays alongside others, mimicking their actions, yet still detached. The next stage of development is Cooperative Play. At this stage, the child is interested and involved with the other participants in mutual activities.
I’ve also noticed that some adults are satisfied with this sort of side-by-side social interaction. They get together in large groups and have superficial conversations. They mimic each other, yet remain detached.
As a grown-up, I don’t want to play like this anymore. I want to have real, substantive relationships. I’ve moved beyond side-by-side play. Yet, many people see my attitude as uncooperative, a refusal to participate in the social game.
I’m like a kid in the sandbox who starts in on deep conversations without the customary chit-chat. My intensity scares off most people. I don’t do light relationships. I used to know how to play that game. I’m sure I could figure it out again, but I’m not sure I want to regress to that level. This is also why I don’t like large gatherings. It’s impossible to have a real connection with anyone at one of these social events. I’ve been told I need to accept others who are still in other stages of development, that I need to just sit in the sandbox and play nice.
I’m not sure I agree. But I guess I can give it a try.
And, this is why I like you! :) I'm also a diver into the deep. Keep being who you are.
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