Foggy Mornings

In the last post, I wrote about some impressions I had while walking in the fog. That morning, I also had a few practical thoughts:

When you can’t see where you are going, it’s best to stay out of traffic, go slowly, and take small steps.

On that foggy morning, if I were driving on the highway instead of walking on a rural path, it would have been much more dangerous. I could have chosen to stay in my home and not step outside at all--this would have been the safest course. But then, I would not have experienced the fog and what it had to teach me.

In times of uncertainty--we may have to slow down, but we don’t have to stop moving. We can take small steps while holding on to Jesus.  

Shekinah

Shekinah is a hard word to describe. It is a transliteration of a Hebrew noun that means dwelling or settling. Other meanings include: Divine Presence, light, Holy Spirit, glory.

I’ve been pondering this word for several days, and I can sense there is something important about it that I need to understand. Yet, it remains out of my grasp.

The other day, I was walking the dog in our neighborhood. It was a cool, foggy morning, and I could feel the mist around me. There was a reassuring weight and density to this fog. It muffled sounds and veiled my path--all I could sense was the present space I was occupying. The weight of this blanket did not feel oppressive; it was comforting, insulating, and intimate. I felt rejuvenated and energized by the cool mist.

I could only see a few feet in front of me. Usually, this level of uncertainty freaks me out. Yet, this time it felt safe. I got the feeling that both  knowing and unknowing are from God.

When we settle into the Divine Presence, when we become part of the Shekinah of God--His light illuminates our next step; his glorious weight covers us; His Spirit refreshes us.  

Not There Yet

Telephoto lenses are great for shooting scenes that are far away. A photographer can focus the lens on a scene and get enlarged images of a subject. However, not everything benefits from magnification. Sometimes my husband takes close-up shots of my face. Every blemish and pore appears enlarged.

In life, whatever we choose to focus on appears magnified. When we fixate over problems, they appear bigger. When we concentrate on our blessings, they are enlarged. The opposite is also true. If we take our blessings for granted, they seem diminished. If we refuse to obsess over our problems they seem less formidable.

I am not advocating that anyone live in denial. Yet, even under difficult circumstances, we can choose what we pay attention to. Every person experiences setbacks and disappointments, but not all bounce back.

Refocusing on the positive rather than the negative, the controllable rather than the uncontrollable, the changeable rather than the unchangeable, can boost our emotions and improve our resilience.

Focusing on what we can do to move forward is useful. However, focusing on God, experiencing Him up close--can help us gain a different perspective. Some people have learned to use their trials and afflictions as a magnifying glass to study God’s glory up close. I’m not there yet.

Hacked

Every day, you hear of some new online scam which attempts to gain remote access to your computer. Recently, there was one that appeared as a pop-up warning that your computer has been infected with a Trojan horse. (In computing, a Trojan horse is a destructive program masquerading as a benign application.) The pop-up window then instructs you to call the manufacturer at a given number. The information appears credible since the scammers use the name of a reputable company. However, once the number is called, they attempt to remotely access your computer as well as solicit a payment for fixing your computer.

I noticed several parallels between this particular online scam and how evil sneakily manipulates our minds. A thought pops up in our minds. Instead of immediately closing this thought down, we pay attention to it, follow up on it, and take actions based on it. Soon, evil has remote access to our minds--like a Trojan horse, some seemingly harmless thought is used to carry severely damaging material into our minds and lives. This leads to actions that are based on fear and panic. We are no longer able to operate from a place of peace, wholeness, trust, and wisdom.

Just like the scammers, evil will not try this same, exact tactic next time, It will come in some new form. Now, if only I could recognize it every time.

(A special thanks to my friend, Laura, for sharing her experience with me.)

Christmas Song

Merry Christmas!
May Christ be born in each of us!
Here is a link to Francesca Batistelli's song:  'Be Born in Me' (Mary)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsXOP7aQeqQ

Who Is It?

If someone knocks at your front door, you usually check to see who it is before you open the door. If it is someone trustworthy or familiar, we open the door. Trust facilitates openness, and openness allows us to be filled.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Rom 15:13 NLT)

When God, the source of hope, knocks--we have to trust Him before we can open our hearts, minds, and hands to receive Him. Then, through the power of the Holy Spirit, we are filled until we overflow with joy, wholeness, and confident hope.

Now, if someone shady comes to your door and tries to convince you to open the door--flattering your ego, peddling half-truths, preying on your fears--then you bar the door and quickly make sure every other entry point in your home is sealed and locked as well.

The Prince of Peace, the Spirit of Truth brings wholeness, restoration, and healing. However, the prince of darkness, the spirit of deception induces fear, despair (lack of hope), and insecurity. Allowing God’s presence to fill our lives is the best defense against evil.

For “the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.” (1 John 4:4 NLT)

Prince of Peace, make us whole. May we trust you--opening our minds, hearts, and hands to you--so that by the power of Your Holy Spirit, we shall overflow with confident hope.

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Three Paths

Whenever we are faced with challenges, uncertainty and confusion on which path to take can be debilitating. When I come to the proverbial ‘fork in the road’--I notice there are usually three paths to choose from:

Path One--This is usually the tried and true choice. You just follow the herd so there will be lots of social support. You will have to expend some effort, but there is not much thinking involved. This is usually the path of least resistance.

Path Two--This is where you have to carve your own path. It is lonely and exhausting. You are likely to get overwhelmed and quit before you finish.

Path Three--God clears the path which He has chosen for you. You follow His lead. You align your movements according to His signals. You rely on his guidance. He takes care of the provisions, the debris, the equipment, the schedule--every detail.

So as we choose how to deal with any challenge, we can pick between one of these three paths. Thus far, I have traveled mostly on the first two paths, and neither has got me to where I hoped to be. So now, it’s time to try Path three...

Restoring Judgment

It’s the holiday season--Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I enjoy the decorations, music, lights, food, friends, gifts, and laughter. Along with the usual signs of the holidays, I can see symptoms of impaired judgment--overspending, debt, alcohol consumption, overeating, exhaustion, anxiety, desperation, insecurities, addictions, obsessions, societal pressure...

How can we repair and restore clarity?

When a car windshield is fogged up, visibility is reduced. A wise driver will turn on the defogger to clear the condensation or frost. Similarly, a prudent person senses when his/her judgment is impaired and proceeds to repair it as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, humans don’t have a defogger button that restores clarity within a few minutes. It takes time to clear our minds.

Here are a few ways that I use to clean the windshield of my mind: I resist doing whatever it is that got me muddled in the first place. I get away from the crowds and noise. I remind myself to put my confidence in God and wait for Him to restore my soul.

“He restores my strength. He leads me down the right paths for the sake of his reputation. Even when I must walk through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for you are with me.” (Psalm 23:3-4 NET)

Winter Protection

I am not a fan of winter, but I have learned to accept it as part of living in the Midwest. As long as I can stay indoors, I am less bothered by this weather.

If I could always stay in the light and warmth of God’s presence, I wouldn’t be bothered by the bitter coldness of my external circumstances.

"If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home." (Ps. 91:9-10 NLT) 

“I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” (John 16:33 MSG)

Lord, guide us with your light and truth into Your presence--where no evil can harm us. Help us to feel the peace that comes from trusting You. Remind us that You have power and control over every difficulty we experience. May we remain cocooned in Your protective warm presence.

Where am I?

Over the last few years, I have been praying for guidance. I was in a transitional period of life--unsure about what to do in the next phase. I feel like I have found my place now...I’m not sure where I am though. But, it feels right!

I feel like my mind has gone through some remodeling. The first half of my life was all about doing, but now that I’m in the second half of life, I’m more focused on being. During the first half, I was motivated by ambitions, accomplishments, acquisitions, desires, and public validation. I wanted to change the world, make a significant impact, be remembered and respected by others. I am still bothered by these things, but to a lesser extent than before.

This place where I am...I didn’t get here by myself. I have been guided here. It is a place of light, truth, warmth, and belonging. It’s more a state of being than doing; being in God’s presence and attending to Him.

Stay Attentive

Recently, I was watching a TV show on dating etiquette. The woman kept texting her best friend instead of paying attention to the man. As I was watching, I realized that I am also guilty of similar rudeness.

My heart’s desire is to stay attentive to God at all times. Yet, I allow human concerns to distract me. When familiar fears and worries call out to me, I reply.  As I react and respond to them, I become disengaged from the One who loves me.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (Matthew 6:34 MSG)

We cannot be consumed by God if our worries consume us. Even though our fears keep pestering us, we don’t have to let them in. We can stay attentive to God, responding only to His love, and trusting Him to take care of the rest.

All the Way

In his book, What is God?, Jacob Needleman contrasts the difference between Judaism and Christianity: In Judaism, God meets humans halfway. Humans have a certain amount of responsibility. They must obey and keep their part of the covenant. In Christianity, God, incarnate, comes all the way down, because humans have shown that they are incapable.  This is grace--the undeserved gift of God’s sacrificial love.  

God loves us unconditionally without expectations of reciprocity.  Yet, once we are awakened to this love, the Spirit stirs in us, and we are drawn to respond. This may be our highest human purpose.

God is willing to meet us all the way. All we have to do is turn toward God, accept His love, and respond to Him.

Substituting Statistics for Trust

When my husband and I got married, I was 20, and he was 23. Two years later, he started medical school. We moved seven times in the first 11 years of marriage. We also went through several personal crises.  According to statistics, the chances of a marriage making it under these circumstances are very, very low.

“Though a thousand may fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you.” (Psalm 91:7 NLT)

These kinds of verses are difficult for me to accept. I am a big fan of numbers and statistics. I trust in things that are quantifiable and measurable. I give more weight to what I have observed and experienced. I consider myself a realist (who leans more toward pessimism than optimism).  This attitude seems smarter.

As a shepherd boy, David trusted God more than statistics. If David had calculated the odds of defeating Goliath, he would have been overwhelmed before he even got started. However, David was not always so trusting. Several years later, after David became King, he takes a census of his soldiers before heading out to battle. Here is David’s response after he realizes his mistake: “I have sinned badly in what I have just done, substituting statistics for trust; forgive my sin--I’ve been really stupid.” (1 Chronicles 21:8 MSG)

Cynicism is not a sign of intelligence. Substituting statistics for trust can lead to a paralysis of fear. Trust in God does not guarantee that everything is going to turn out perfectly. Yet, it allows us to find strength and hope to move forward rather than stay stuck in misery.

Despite the statistics, my husband and I have been married for 24 years now--not because of our own merit, but by God’s grace. I pray that we continue to trust Him.

Uninspired Detours

The idiom ‘phoning it in’ is used to describe uninspired, perfunctory performances where we are not fully present. (Other variations of this idiom: mailing it in, e-mailing it in, texting it in.) When we don’t feel motivated, we half-heartedly go through the motions--putting in minimal effort.

There is another, even more insidious version of this practice: When we feel impatient with God’s timing and decide to get things moving on our own. I call this Ishmaeling it in.

God promised Abraham and Sarah that they would have an heir. As they got older, Abraham and Sarah became impatient in the waiting. They decided that they would take matters into their own hands. Abraham had a child (Ishmael) with their maid.

My desire for efficiency makes me impatient. When I don’t see signs of improvement, I feel the urge to initiate change on my own. Inactivity feels lazy and unproductive--so I Ishmael it in. I don’t wait for God. My judgement is clouded by an inflated sense of my own capabilities. I initiate projects, just so that I feel like I’m doing something. These uninspired detours merely sap time and energy.

Lord, I pray for the patience to wait upon Your perfect timing instead of initiating ill-conceived plans of my own.

Do Not Fear

There is a myth that the phrase ‘Do not fear’ is found 365 times in the Bible, (once for each day of the year)! It’s not true. When I read this meme online, I was immediately suspicious. It reminded me of other instances of neatly packaged, oversimplified theology that I have encountered.

It is true that there are a multitude of Bible verses that instruct us not to fear, dread, or worry.

“Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday.”(Psalm 91:5-6 NLT)

“Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you. (Isaiah 41:10 MSG)

We may be surrounded by fear of uncertainty, arrows of doubt, internal torment, and direct attacks of evil. Yet, over and over, God promises that we have nothing to fear.

I’ve got you. I’ll be with you. Do not dread the unknown or the perceptible.  I’ll hold you through the pain and suffering. It’ll be over soon. Lean in to me. Hold on to me. Trust me.

A Worthy Life

It’s time to replace my running shoes again. My feet hurt when I run in them now. Although I like finding the perfect pair of shoes, I don’t like the process of trying on different pairs in order to find the right fit. I can never really determine if a shoe fits until I run a few miles in them anyway. And, in a few months, I will have to go through this whole process again as the new pair wears out.

At each stage of life, I struggle to find my purpose. I try on different roles, hoping to find the perfect fit. The calling changes as I grow and stretch. Each assignment prepares me for the next one.

Here are two verses that caught my attention recently:

“My life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned to me by the Lord Jesus--the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.” (Acts 20:24 NLT)

“I didn’t shrink from declaring all that God wants you to know.” (Acts 20:27 NLT)

Here is a person who has found his perfect fit, his highest purpose. He  communicates God’s grace.

The circumstances of our lives change us. Pain can make us sore, stiff, and worn out. However, the salve of grace can make us pliable and useful. What the world considers the good life--gaining as much power, honor, prestige, and wealth as possible, or experiencing as much pleasure as possible--really has no meaning. A worthy life is one in which we allow God to use us for His purposes.

Practicing Faith

My friend, S.R., has probably taught me more about faith than all the books I have read combined. She has been battling cancer for the last several years. Recently, she received news that the last course of experimental treatment was not working. After she gave me the update, she sent me the following message:

“It will be fine. It’s all about practicing our faith and knowing we are in God’s hands.” (S.R. 11/19/2014 text message)

I was feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness for her, but she was reminding me that it was time to put into practice all that she had learned and then passed on to me.

-Faith does not exempt us from suffering, but it enables us to rely on God who is sturdier than anything this world has to offer.

-God is merciful. He calls forth light in the darkest hours, strength when our resources are completely depleted, and peace in the midst of uncertainty.

-What is truly valuable, inspiring, and life-changing may be  delivered in unexpected packaging.

-Complete confidence in God helps us to respond to any situation with a positive attitude.

-When we are desperate and don’t know how to pray, the Holy Spirit will take over.

Lord, I trust in thee; Thy will be done; Christ have mercy.

Conquering Evil

Thousands of individuals have climbed to the summit of Mt. Everest. Most of them rely heavily on experienced expedition guides to deal with logistics and equipment.

Although I have lived most of my life in America, I am of Indian origin. Recently, I heard of a thirteen-year-old Indian girl who became the youngest female to summit Mt. Everest. This made me curious. I did some research and found that, of all the mountain climbers who have reached the summit of Everest, less than 1% have been of Indian origin. This was surprising to me considering that Mt. Everest is practically in India’s backyard.

I would like to climb mountains, but I’m more likely to talk myself out if it before I reach base camp. I get overwhelmed easily. I don’t see myself as a ‘conqueror’ of anything. Yet, I don’t want to be one of the oppressed either.

“No evil will conquer you;” (Psalm 91:10 NLT)

Those who climb Mt. Everest do not reduce the mountain, but they subdue their internal insecurities and gain strength and confidence in the process. I may not be able to defeat evil or subjugate it, but I can be released from its oppression.

“Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.” (Romans 12:21 NLT)

I don’t want to be conquered by evil. I want to overcome every challenge that evil throws in my path. If there is a mountain in my backyard, I can either become disgruntled about how it is blocking the light, or I can climb to the summit and appreciate the view. Yes, there is risk and effort involved. However, God is leading this expedition. I just have to follow instructions and not do my own thing. Every positive step I take helps me advance higher. Evil shall not get the best of me. With God’s help, I shall overcome evil.

My Hiding Place

I have fantasies about living in a hermitage on a mountain. I even indulge myself by making lists of random things I would pack for my sanctuary--lip balm, socks, books, laptop (yes, I’m a tech-dependent hermit!), tea, food, blanket, etc. This fantasy stems from my desire to cocoon myself with comfort and not be bothered by anything. It feels selfish and self-absorbed, but this craving to find a safe hiding place is not uncommon.

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust Him.” (Psalm 91:1-2 NLT)

The desire to find peace is innate in most of us. Yet, we want it on our own terms. We are reluctant to relinquish our preconceived ideas about what is safe. We want to find ‘shelter in the Most High,’ but we still want to be comfortable. 

God is our refuge; we belong in Him, with Him. The journey to the ‘Most High’ is difficult and strenuous. And even once you reach the Shelter, you discover it isn’t necessarily cozy. Yet, it shields you from evil. Thus, it is the best Hiding Place.

Internalizing Scripture

Dallas Willard talks about the importance of memorizing scripture verses. I’m skeptical. First of all, I’ve never been really good at this. Secondly, that’s why they’ve invented smartphones--I can look up verses whenever I want. Yet, looking at a picture of food is not the same as ingesting it, digesting it, absorbing the nutrients into your cells, and then using the energy you receive to grow and move. Similarly, internalizing Scripture must be more beneficial than merely reading it.

In the past, I have tried memorizing verses, word for word, from archaic translations of the Bible. I also tried to remember chapter and verse references. Since I am not going on a quiz show, or trying to impress anyone else with my knowledge--my learning techniques have changed. I take one verse a day, put it in my own words, write it out, find songs about it online, sing it, ponder it, and silently repeat it throughout the day. This has worked for short verses. I am now trying to modify my methods so as to learn longer passages.

My goal is to be able to digest God’s expressions until they are absorbed into every cell. My hope is that these concepts will then power my thoughts, my will, and my actions.

Expanded Perspective

When I am looking at large paintings in a museum, I stand far enough back so that I can appreciate them properly. If I’m standing too close, I end up focusing on the individual brush strokes instead of the impact of the artwork as a whole.  Similarly, when I am looking at pictures of myself or my family, I tend to obsess over the imperfections rather than the positives. I am too close to the situation to have a proper perspective.

Prayer changes our perspective.  Sometimes it allows us to zoom in and see details, and other times it lets us zoom out and see the things in the background. Time and space can also expand our perspective. When we pray for ourselves and our closest loved ones, sometimes it’s difficult to see the impact. We are too close to have proper perspective. I have noticed that it takes me several years to appreciate God’s interventions in my own situations. It’s much easier to recognize grace in other people’s lives.

When we converse with God through prayer, His Spirit is like a docent at a museum--pointing out details, giving us a historical perspective, and explaining techniques. As we listen, we gain a deeper appreciation and understanding of what we are experiencing. We wonder how this docent knows each work of art so intimately. There is only one explanation...He must also be the Artist behind everything.

Symptomatic Relief

When I am sick, I want to feel better. Finding the root cause and making changes in my lifestyle are too complicated. So, I seek treatment for the symptoms rather than the disease. I am more likely to go back to a physician who gives me medicine for temporary relief than to someone who keeps asking me to come back for further exploratory procedures.  

When I pray, I ask God to prevent bad things from happening, to smooth out the path, to make everyone feel better, to take away hardships, pain, and discomfort. I am asking for the least invasive procedure, for symptomatic relief--not for lasting change. My prayers are for comfort rather than true healing.  

When our requests for temporary comfort are not answered every time, we doubt the efficacy of prayer. Some of us extrapolate further and question the existence of an all-powerful, all-loving God.

Prayer connects us to God and to each other. It forces us to trust in a power higher than our own strength and wits. It changes and expands our perspective.

Playing Games with God

(Acts Study)

“Starting from scratch, he made the entire human race and made the earth hospitable, with plenty of time and space for living so we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find him. He doesn’t play hide-and-seek with us. He’s not remote; he’s near. We live and move in him, can’t get away from him!” (Acts 17:24-29 MSG)

Many of us are seekers, but few of us claim to be finders.

Today, I have a certain amount of space and time--probably about 12 hours left before I fall asleep again. I can use this to either ‘grope around in the dark’--busying myself with worldly tasks and concerns--or, I can ‘live and move and exist’ in God. How do I do this? How can I continually depend on God--so that every thought, emotion, and action is influenced by HIM? I don’t know...

“It was God who kept us focused on him, uncompromised.” (2 Cor. 1:12-14 MSG)

Maybe that’s it?! I am already dependent on God for everything. I am already living, moving, and existing under His power. Right now, I am being sustained and upheld by Him--just as I have been all my life. Just because I keep my eyes closed tightly while groping around searching for God, doesn’t mean He is playing games. All I have to do is open my eyes and acknowledge that God is right here encompassing everything, taking care of everything. God isn’t playing hide-and-seek, but I am--and I am making it much more challenging than it needs to be.

God, please help me to open my eyes and keep them open. Keep my eyes unblinkingly focused on You.