False Selves

“Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?” (Luke 9:23-27 MSG)

These verses remind me of what Thomas Merton said about our true and false selves. The false self is the illusory persona that we present to the world--the roles we play, what we do, what is validated and recognized. Unfortunately, most of us spend so much of our energy and time playing our roles that we never become familiar with our authentic, naked selves. Our true selves are who God intended us to be--our true purpose and identity. Embracing our true selves requires surrendering our false selves.

Recently, I renewed my driver’s license online. When I got my new license in the mail, it came along with instructions to destroy my old license. I couldn’t bring myself to shred the old one, even though it was expired. Instead, I put it away in my fireproof safety deposit box. That little card had confirmed my identity for several years, and I wasn’t ready to give it up. Now, if I had gone to the driver’s license office, I would have had to give up my old card in order to get my new card. But since I was in control this time, I decided to keep both.

We may want to know our true selves, but we are reluctant to give up our false selves. If we have a choice, we would like to have both. Our public personas have served us well over the years. If we take off our masks, if we show our make-up-free faces, if we reveal our nakedness--it might not be socially acceptable. Yet, we have to surrender our expired identity to have access to our true identity. And even if we have the most popular masks, play the most acceptable roles, wear the most desirable make-up and clothes--what’s the point if we aren’t being our true selves?