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Thursday, March 12, 2015

Pressing Buttons

The basement level of our house is mainly my son’s domain. He does most of the regular cleaning for this level--vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, etc. But dusting is not part of his routine. One morning, while he was at school, I decided to do some intense dusting. I wiped down all the furniture, electronics, and musical equipment. During this exuberant cleaning, I unintentionally turned some knobs and pressed a few wrong buttons on the electronic equipment. I wasn’t sure how to fix it...so I left it alone. I wondered if I should just completely give up on dusting electronics. Luckily, when my son came home, he was able to reset everything.

I have had similar experiences with people. I tend to be intense in my relationships and friendships.  Sometimes, I unintentionally push sensitive buttons and hurt someone’s feelings. Even though I want to undo what I have done, I don’t know how. When this happens, I feel like withdrawing from everyone and becoming a recluse.

I wonder if this is an inevitable part of all relationships? When I have been friends with someone for a decade or more, I tend to know their sensitive spots. (Mostly because I have pressed it, and they have protested.)  Because of these experiences, I find it expedient to let my friends and family know where my own land mines are buried. Relationships would be easier if we all just let our loved ones know our sensitive spots up front!

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people." - Carl Jung

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