Fritters

“A right time to search and another to count your losses, A right time to hold on and another to let go...” (Ecclesiastes 3:6 MSG)

Plantain fritters are a popular treat in many parts of the world. Plantains are a larger, starchier variety of bananas that are often used for cooking. Plantain fritters are made from overripe plantains, dipped in batter and deep-fried. They are mildly sweet, but most of the taste comes from the fat they are fried in. I ate a lot of these when I was a child. I didn’t find them particularly appealing, but I wouldn’t refuse them either.  When I was a teenager, I witnessed how they were made. Although I liked most batter-fried foods, I knew these weren’t worth the calories. I also noticed that consuming these fritters made my skin break out in pimples. Even so, I would dutifully eat them if someone served them to me; I hated being rude. It took me another few decades to let go of this habit--of obligatorily swallowing whatever was presented to me--even if I sensed that it was unhealthy.

This habit of mindlessly consuming harmful things extended to many other areas of my life. I spent years accepting beliefs and traditions without much thought. I expended energy on soul-sucking relationships, on trying to maintain appearances, and on people-pleasing. I convinced myself that it was no big deal, that if everyone else could deal with it, so could I. I thought drinking the poisoned kool-aid was a sign of tolerance and character.  However, no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t find meaning or purpose in pretense.

I no longer eat plantain fritters, no matter how much someone pushes them on me. I also have let go of the need to go along to get along, to avoid disapproval at any cost, and to accept societal expectations. I refuse to fritter away my energy for the sake of appearing nice. I don’t waste time regretting the years I have lost to these habits either. There is a right time to search and another to count your losses, a right time to hold on and another to let go. I have learned to cultivate habits that nurture my soul and relinquish all that depletes my spirit.