“I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!” (2 Corinthians 6:11-13 MSG)
There are a lot of wild rabbits in our area. Mostly they don’t bother us--except in the spring when they eat the tender, new plants in our garden. A sensible gardener knows to put up chicken wire around their plants for about a month. Once the stems and leaves become tough, the rabbits leave them alone. The fencing is useful in the early stages but gets in the way of tending the garden in the later months.
I have certain attitudes and habits that have served me well in the past. In times of vulnerability, they provided protection. Like a trellis, they supported my growth in the early stages. Even though these familiar fences are no longer necessary, I am hesitant to take them down. They have morphed into self-limitations that hamper me from living openly and expansively.
I will give one concrete example. I was raised in a frugal household. Wastefulness was seen as stupid and sinful. These lessons of thriftiness and careful budgeting were very useful in the early stages of my life. Although my financial resources have improved, I still retain these cautious spending habits. What was once an adaptive behavior has now turned into a self-limitation. I am working on changing these maladaptive coping mechanisms.
What attitudes and behaviors do you still retain that are no longer useful? Perhaps, like me, you hang on to these patterns because they are familiar. Does it get in the way of growth? If so, it might be time to take these self-limiting barriers down.
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