Singing

My family goes to a church that is predominantly filled with college students. Most of these young people are beautiful, fashionable, and appear confident. We have an exuberant choir of young people with a famous musical director. When the choir is not traveling around the nation, they perform for the congregation. They have choreographed moves, matching outfits, and alternating solos. Most Sundays, the musical director announces that their CD’s are on sale in the church lobby.

I stopped singing in church a long time ago, mostly because I’m insecure about my musical abilities. I like to sing, but I don’t know much about pitch or keys. I used to sing because it brought me joy, but now I’m self-conscious about my imperfections. I’m afraid I’ll make a mistake and others around me will cringe.
 
Yesterday, in church, I had the privilege of sitting in front of an older couple who sang along with every hymn . The husband had a deep, low tone, and the wife had a sweet, clear voice. They sang with sincerity, without artifice, with abandon. Their singing brought me joy. I wish I could sing without worrying about how it will be received by others. I just listened to them and tuned out the choir. I still didn’t have the guts to open up a hymn book and sing along. I wondered if a few years from now, I could have what they have…this level of self-assurance.

I’ve been writing for decades. However, I’m not good at editing. Because of this, I’ve been hesitant to allow others to read my writing. This year, a very supportive friend agreed to edit my writing. This has given me the courage to let others read my thoughts.

I was inspired by the singing couple in church. As I get older, I hope to be more like them--to not care about public opinion, to do what brings me joy, and to live with abandon.