Thank You

It’s been a year since I started this blog. Although I started off writing every day, after the first month or so, I settled into a routine of 6 days a week, Monday through Saturday. This will be my 316^th post. I would not have started publishing my private thoughts if it weren’t for the encouragement of my sister and a few close friends. I wouldn’t have been able to keep it going without the help of another dear friend, who edited most of the articles. I’m thankful to all of you readers, especially to those of you who wrote encouraging emails to me. I’m particularly grateful to my husband, who read my posts daily and encouraged me to keep writing.

This year of writing has been a gift. I’ve had a chance to explore my thoughts and grow in the process. This blog and its subscribers have kept me accountable to write every day, to think deeply, to not accept superficial answers to my questions. I hope to continue writing in the next year. Thank You for reading as I write out loud…

Independence and Individuality

“The characteristics of individuality are independence and self-will. We hinder our spiritual growth more than any other way by continually asserting our individuality.” (My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers)

I was surprised when I read this statement! I’ve always thought that individuality and independence were good characteristics to strive for, while conformity and dependence were to be avoided at all cost.  

The word “individual” originated from the Latin word individuus --meaning not divisible. 

Why is individuality--or indivisibility--a hindrance to spiritual growth?

(Since I couldn’t figure this out, I decided to take a break and make myself some eggs for breakfast. I cracked open two eggs, separated the whites from the yolks to avoid the cholesterol, and thought about this conundrum as I watched the egg whites cook in the pan. Later, as I was chewing, I realized how I had divided the eggs several times—first from the shell, then the yolk from the white.)

Both the shell and the yolk are necessary for the development of an egg into a new, individual chick. But, for my purposes they needed to be divided. I didn’t want the cholesterol to clog up my arteries. Similarly, individuality and independence are useful to human development, but not for God’s purposes. Spiritual growth involves cracking our outer shell and dividing our core. God separates what is useful to Him from the parts that merely clog up His plans. Thus, individuality--or a resistance to being divided--becomes a hindrance to spiritual growth.

Have It Your Way

“There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way.” (C.S. Lewis)

This reminds me so much of a parent-child relationship. A parent might tell a child, “It’s cold outside; you might want to wear a coat.” The child might respond with a tantrum or just completely ignore the parent’s advice. So, then the parent might decide to let the kid have his own way and learn from the consequences of his mistake.

As children of God, we can daily choose to follow His directions and say: “Thy will be done.” Or, we can stomp our feet, have a tantrum, and insist: “I know what I’m doing; I want it my way!”

When God allows us to have our own way, we majorly screw things up. This is the root of all problems, all destruction, all evil. Our choices can impact not only our own lives, but also those around us, as well as future generations.

Once we understand the consequences of insisting on getting our own way, we realize how imperative it is to pray: Thy Will Be Done! Please!

Holy Family

My childhood home was filled with pictures of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, representing the idealized family. The child Jesus was always in the center, flanked on both sides by Mary and Joseph.  Many Catholics take time to honor the Holy Family on the weekend between Christmas and New Year’s. The Holy Family represents the sanctity of the family unit.

Several years ago, I started praying regularly that all families would stay intact, wholesome, and holy. To me this meant that parents would stay together, focus on the needs of their kids, and put their own ambitions and desires aside for the welfare of the family. My idea of a sanctified family was of one that was child-centered. As with most flawed thinking, mine was just slightly off the mark.

The Holy Family was Christ-centered, not child-centered. The sanctity of a family is not dependent on whether the members are wholesome, but whether they are set apart for God’s purposes. The focus is not on the family unit, but on Jesus.

Most families, including mine, are far from being Christ-centered. In order to focus on Jesus, we have to take our eyes off of everything else. This seems dangerous, risky, and counter-culture.  It is.

 “God, dear Lord, I only have eyes for you.” (Ps. 141:8 MSG)

Lord, may we be so absorbed by You, that everything else fades in importance.

Joseph

This morning, I sat contemplating the nativity figurines that I put out as part of our Christmas décor. As I noticed each character in this tableau, I thought about how many Christmas stories, carols, and cards mention Jesus, Mary, the three kings, angels, shepherds, and all the animals, but how very few extol Joseph’s role.

Joseph played an integral role in Jesus’ life. Even when he realizes his betrothed is pregnant and the child is not his own, Joseph sticks to his commitment. He listens carefully to God’s instructions, obeys without questioning, leads his family away from danger, and provides them with a home, an identity, and honor. Joseph enables Mary to mother and nurture Jesus. He had every right to just leave when he heard the baby was not his own. Yet, he gives up his rights, and instead devotes himself to taking care of this vulnerable woman and her child. He leads without being domineering. He seems to be aware of his role as God’s representative on earth. When I think of Joseph, I imagine a responsible, protective, hard-working man who is willing to make sacrifices for his family.

Instead of being held up as a role model, Joseph is largely ignored in our current culture. In general, the role of fathers is undervalued these days. Most men are convinced that they are the nonessential parent who plays a peripheral role in the family. Their contributions are minimized. They are often seen as mere accessories, supplemental actors in the family drama. Recognizing the value of men will not lead to the devaluing of women. Each person has an integral role.

I wish we could acknowledge, affirm, and raise awareness of the important role that men, especially fathers, play in society. I think it will just encourage men to live up to the role for which they were created.

 

Christmas

We are celebrating the most popular of all birthdays. We’ve been preparing for about a month. The decorations are up, we have gift bags for the other guests, and the dinner is prepared. Yet, it feels like we left something out. Did we remember to invite the birthday boy? And if we did, are we paying any attention to Him?

Amidst the food, the gifts and merriment sometimes we ignore Christ.

I hope we can all take a break today and really enjoy God, who is with us–Immanuel!

Today is the perfect day to honor Jesus, to adore Him, to put Him first.

Venite Adoremus, Dominum

(Come let us adore him, Christ the Lord)

Sponsors

Today, I would like to delve into the role a Sponsor plays in a 12-step recovery program. I found the following description online:

“A sponsor is a more experienced person in recovery who guides the less-experienced aspirant through the program. Sponsors share their experience, strength, and hope. A sponsor's role is not that of a legal adviser, a banker, a parent, a marriage counselor, or a social worker. Nor is a sponsor a therapist offering some sort of professional advice. A sponsor is simply another addict in recovery who is willing to share his or her journey.” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step_program)

In the above description, I especially like the part of what NOT to do as a sponsor. Sponsors have to be careful not to take on too much while helping others. Like physical therapists, they must guide and support others towards healing. The patient has to do the exercises and develop strength. A therapist who does too much is not helping the patient stand and walk on his own.

What if each of us had such a sponsor on our faith journey--someone who is further along on the path, who would guide us and share their experience, strength, and hope? What if each of us, in turn, became a sponsor to someone else who was a few steps behind us—openly sharing our past struggles and how God came through for us. What a beautiful model for restoration!

Recovery Groups

12-step programs have helped many people on their road to recovery. These programs range from Alcoholics Anonymous to Clutterers Anonymous. For some time now, I’ve been fascinated by the simplicity and practicality of the 12 step model and have found it a useful tool for behavior modification and personal growth. The 12-steps, (which are easily found online, so I won’t list them here), along with the support provided by the recovery group are also a good model for a faith community. 

These recovery support groups emphasize physical, mental, and spiritual transformation. I think our faith journey should be similar. We seek restoration to our former, intimate relationship with God while battling the physical, emotional, and spiritual barriers that block our path.

I found the following in a Wikipedia article on 12 steps:

“The illness of the spiritual dimension, or "spiritual malady", is considered in all twelve-step groups to be self-centeredness. The process of working the steps is intended to replace self-centeredness with a growing moral consciousness, a willingness for self-sacrifice, and unselfish constructive action. In twelve-step groups, this is known as a spiritual awakening or a religious experience.”

We are all at various stages of recovery from self-centeredness. This is the human condition. Our souls continually seek restoration to our former absolute oneness with the Divine. This can only be achieved through relinquishing our ‘self’ and surrendering to a Higher Power.

Unworthy

Some people feel undeserving of God’s attention. They believe that they are not good enough. They look at their life and sense their inferiority. They project this sense of worthlessness into their relationship with God. If other humans think that they are unfit for company, why wouldn’t God?

Humility is a virtue, but insecurity is not. Humility implies modesty and humbleness, while insecurity denotes a lack of confidence. This slight but important difference is portrayed by the centurion in Matthew, Chapter 8:

“When Yeshua entered Kapernahum, a certain Centurion approached him and he prayed to him. And he said, “My Lord, my boy is lying in the house and is paralyzed and he is badly tormented.” Yeshua said to him, “I shall come and heal him.” That Centurion answered and said, “My lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say in a word and my boy will be healed.” “I also am a man under authority and soldiers are under my hand, and I say to this one, 'Go', and he goes, and to another, 'Come', and he comes, and to my servant, 'Do this', and he does.” But when Yeshua heard, he was amazed, and he said to them that came with him, “Truly I say to you, that not even in Israel have I found faith like this.” (Matt. 8:5-13 Aramaic Bible in Plain English)

This captain of the Roman army is not insecure, yet he is humble. He recognizes his unworthiness next to Jesus, but at the same time, he has placed his confidence in the Lord.

None of us is worthy, yet we are secure in God.

Giving Up

“Then Jesus told this story: “A man planted a fig tree in his garden and came again and again to see if there was any fruit on it, but he was always disappointed. Finally, he said to his gardener, ‘I’ve waited three years, and there hasn’t been a single fig! Cut it down. It’s just taking up space in the garden.’

“The gardener answered, ‘Sir, give it one more chance. Leave it another year, and I’ll give it special attention and plenty of fertilizer. If we get figs next year, fine. If not, then you can cut it down.’” (Luke 13:6-9 NLT)

This parable is a bit scary. God the Father is the owner of the garden, Jesus is the gardener, and we are the fig tree. God is disappointed when we are unproductive and just taking up space. Jesus advocates for us, promising to give us special attention and fertilizer, asking God not to give up on us.

I’m a bit confused. Why would our Father even consider giving up on us?

In order to process this, I have to think about something I gave up on recently. We have boxes full of Christmas lights. Every year we bring them out and plug them in to see which ones work. If even a few lights work on a strand, we use them on the bushes outside. This year I had about 3 strands that didn’t work at all. Not a single bulb lit up. I had been keeping these strands around for the past few years, thinking I might be able to salvage the bulbs for the other strands. However, this year I gave up on them. As I threw them in the trash, I actually felt a sense of loss. If an electrician came up and said, “Let me work on them, I think I can save these strands of light”, I would have eagerly given them another chance.

As I read further past the parable of the unproductive fig tree, I noticed that we never find out what happens to it, whether it starts being fruitful or gets chopped down. I realized this parable is not about whether we have limited time to be fruitful. It is more about the Savior, who will not give up on us.

God’s power flows through us. We are meant to express God’s glory, like strands of light. Over time, a few of our bulbs might burn out, but Jesus is attentive and never gives up on us.

The Disease of Mistrust

I came across the following when looking up the difference between the words mistrust and distrust: to distrust is to suspect someone is dishonest; to mistrust is to merely lack confidence in someone. (thesaurus.com)

I often mistrust God.

I tend to acknowledge God when things are going well. However, my trust is shaken during times of instability. It’s as if my faith is infected somehow.

I can explain this best with the following analogy. Some people get cold sores when their body is under stress. Once you are infected with the virus, it never goes away. It just lies dormant in your nerve cells and manifests itself the next time your immune system is weak.

When circumstances are good, my faith shines. But under unfavorable conditions, the disease that has lain latent inside me comes to the forefront, clearly visible for all to see. How can I be healed of this disease of mistrust?

Lord, sanctify me with an immovable confidence in You.

Hindrances

“I am called to live in such a perfect relationship with God that my life produces a yearning for God in the lives of others, not admiration for myself. Thoughts about myself hinder my usefulness to God.” (My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers)

Does my life produce a yearning for God in the lives of others? Or does it just promote admiration for myself? I suspect it’s the latter.

How can the way I live promote a yearning for God? It would require a certain level of transparency. People would have to see through me, beyond me, to God. I would have to get out of the way.

The focus would have to be on God’s Spirit coursing through me, rather than on my attributes and skills. What are some specific things that hinder my usefulness to God? Sometimes, in my desire to be clever and original, I ignore God’s whispers while I write. A Bible verse or concept will come to mind, but I’ll reject it because I’ve written about it before. Or I’ll read something powerful that makes me yearn for God, and I get this nudge to share it with others. But I’m hesitant to just quote other authors, because it seems unoriginal of me to do so. Yet maybe someone needs to hear a specific verse or excerpt from a book today. My ego is just getting in the way. When I’m more concerned about whether what I write is fresh and new, rather than if it influences others to respond to God, I’m hindering my usefulness to God. I have to completely let go of thoughts of myself.

 
“Nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else. But the Message came through anyway. God’s Spirit and God’s power did it, which made it clear that your life of faith is a response to God’s power, not to some fancy mental or emotional footwork by me or anyone else.” (1 Cor. 2:3-5 MSG)

Helpmate

Helpmate is such an old-fashioned word. It has been stuck in my mind this week, like a piece of chicken bone between my teeth, annoying me until I deal with it. So I read and studied this word and its origin.  Helpmate is used in Genesis 2 to describe Eve’s role as wife and helper to Adam.  But the original Hebrew word is Ezer Kenegdo.  I read several different descriptions of this phrase from various authors. Here are some excerpts from Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.

“Ezer Kenegdo-- means something far more powerful than just "helper"; it means "lifesaver." The phrase is only used elsewhere of God, when you need him to come through for you desperately. Eve is a life giver; she is Adam's ally. It will take both of them to sustain life. And they will both need to fight together. Eve is deceived…Eve was convinced that God was withholding something from her. Not even the extravagance of Eden could convince her that God's heart is good. No longer is she vulnerable; now she will be grasping. No longer does she want simply to share in the adventure; now she wants to control it. And as for her beauty, she either hides it in fear and anger, or she uses it to secure her place in the world. "In our fear that no one will speak on our behalf or protect us or fight for us, we start to recreate both ourselves and our role in the story. We manipulate our surroundings so we don't feel so defenseless." Fallen Eve either becomes rigid or clingy. Put simply, Eve is no longer simply inviting. She is either hiding in busyness or demanding that Adam come through for her; usually, an odd combination of both.” (pg 51-52)

Wives have been given an integral role as life-savers, life-givers, and life-sustainers. We are meant to strengthen, complete, compliment, support, and balance our husbands. Yet somehow our human nature compels us to turn marriage into a competition. We suspect that God is holding out on us, casting us in a supporting role, rather than as the lead in our own story. So we take matters into our own hands. We don’t want to be vulnerable or defenseless. We don’t want anyone to take advantage of us, especially our husbands. We want control over our own lives. We want to prove that we can take care of ourselves. 

There are husbands out there who are inconsiderate, unkind, and disrespectful. The wives of these men are justifiably defensive. However, fighting back with disrespect and unkindness only makes matters worse. In our attempts to be independent, we devalue each other and end up treating each other as non-essential and dispensable.
 
In an ideal marriage, a husband would be able to acknowledge how integral his wife is to his fulfillment. In diminishing his wife’s significance, he diminishes himself. At the same time, a wife must be dependable, supportive, protective, and available. She must aspire to be her husband’s most loyal advocate and adviser.

Proposal

When a man proposes marriage to a woman, he is essentially asking her to commit to him, to follow him. Most women are willing to drop everything and take that leap into the unknown with the right guy. When the one you love says: “Come with me, and I’ll show you a new way to live. I’ll give you a new role, a new purpose”, we don’t hesitate. We don’t enquire where and how we will live, what his future plans are, or if his insurance will include us. We just say YES!

However, when Jesus asks us to commit to Him, to follow Him—we are not as enthusiastic. We have questions and concerns. We have to think about it. Why? Is it because we love and trust our future spouses more than God? 
 
The word disciple means follower. I wonder how the disciples were able to leave everything and commit to Jesus. They must have felt a supernatural passion for this Man. This unexplainable love could only have come from the Holy Spirit.
 
St. Teresa of Avila speaks eloquently on this subject:
“Take God for your spouse and friend and walk with Him continually, and you will not sin, will learn to love, and the things you must do will work out prosperously for you.”

“Do not be dismayed daughters, at the number of things which you have to consider before setting out on this divine journey, which is the royal road to heaven. By taking this road we gain such precious treasures that it is no wonder if the cost seems to us a high one. The time will come when we shall realize that all we have paid has been nothing at all by comparison with the greatness of our prizes.”

Leave Your Nets

“Walking along the beach of Lake Galilee, Jesus saw two brothers: Simon (later called Peter) and Andrew. They were fishing, throwing their nets into the lake. It was their regular work. Jesus said to them, “Come with me. I’ll make a new kind of fisherman out of you. I’ll show you how to catch men and women instead of perch and bass.” They didn’t ask questions, but simply dropped their nets and followed.” (Matt. 4:18-20 MSG)

I’ll be honest. I don’t want to drop my regular work to follow Jesus. I want to follow Jesus, part–time. So this verse about these guys ‘dropping their nets’ disturbs me.

Jesus says…Come with me, and I’ll show you a new way to live. I’ll give you a new job, a new purpose.

I suspect that this ‘new way of living’ is not normal. I don’t want to give up my normal lifestyle and sign up to be weird!

Unlike the first disciples, I have a few questions: What does this job entail? What are the hours and pay? Is there a dental plan? I can’t just drop everything and follow Jesus, can I?

I’ve known people who do this sort of thing. I’ve always thought they were irresponsible, flighty and flaky. Besides, how do I know that Jesus is even calling me? And if He is, how do I know what He is calling me to do?

Like Simon Peter, I want to say, “Master, leave. I’m a sinner and can’t handle this holiness. Leave me to myself.” (Luke 5:8-10 MSG)

“Jesus said to Simon, “There is nothing to fear. From now on you’ll be fishing for men and women.” They pulled their boats up on the beach, left them, nets and all, and followed him.” (Luke 5:10-11 MSG)

Temptations

I’ve been reading Matthew Chapter 4. I’ve been pondering the temptations that Jesus faced in the desert. The devil approaches Jesus during a time of desperate neediness and vulnerability.

Here is my interpretation of the three tests:

Bread —Take care of your needs. You don’t have to be vulnerable. Be financially independent.

Take risks on your own—Prove yourself, your worth, your significance. Follow your ambitions, and then ask God to protect you.

Seek glory—You can have it all. Seek self-fulfillment.

I am faced with these temptations regularly. I don’t want to depend on God or anyone else to meet my needs. I want to be independent. I want to take care of myself. I want to prove my worth. I want to pursue my dreams and then ask God to help me achieve my goals. I want to do whatever brings me self-fulfillment.

Jesus resists these temptations. He continually depends on the Father. He doesn’t challenge or manipulate. He is completely dedicated to serving the Father whole-heartedly.

Explaining the Sky

How do you explain the sky to a blind person?

You might attempt to describe that it is like an overturned bowl over the ground. It’s filled with light during the day, because of the sun. It’s usually blue, but can be different colors at sunrise and sunset. Sometimes it has white or grey clouds, which come in various shapes and sizes. At night, it is dark, except for the stars and moon…

Well, the blind person would have a lot of questions about this description. How do you explain the vocabulary that you just used: light, dark, sun, moon, stars, clouds, sunrise, sunset, blue, white, grey.

To further complicate things, a person who has flown in an airplane would have a slightly more nuanced explanation of the sky than a person who has only experienced the view from the ground. Similarly, astronauts who have been in outer space probably have an even different perspective than the rest of us. They might explain that the sky is just our earthly term for the visible parts of the atmosphere. It isn’t really blue, it just appears that way because of the way light is scattered. The clouds are not in the same plane as the sun or the stars. The sun doesn’t really rise or set, it just appears that way from where we see it. It’s actually the Earth that revolves around the sun. The more you think about it, the more difficult it is to explain…

Describing faith is even more complicated.

Complicating Your Life

There are many books and articles out there about simplifying your life. Although most people would prefer to have simple lives, most of us make choices that end up complicating our lives further. 

I read a sermon by Philip Gulley in which he talks about how our lives get invaded and later overtaken by our choices. Here is the link:

http://philipgulley.org/Secure%20Sermons/_Invasives.pdf

I won’t attempt to expand on Gulley’s writing, because his writing is already beautiful and succinct. However, I would like to process my thoughts on this subject. 

Change is usually complicated.  Maintaining the status quo would be simpler.  I’m at a phase where I’m considering making some changes in my life. My choices may be disruptive to my family. I want to be productive, but I don’t want to produce disharmony. I want growth, but not invasive growth.

As I carefully consider introducing new things into my life, I have to ponder the long term effect of my choices. What seems beneficial in the present might destroy the delicate balance that God has achieved. He is the landscape designer. His vision incorporates not just the plants, but the walkways, bridges, ponds, terrain, and buildings. His concern also extends to the overall welfare of every creature in the ecosystem, including the birds, squirrels, and insects.  I, on the other hand, am just the gardener. I’ve been appointed to water and care for a little plot. I must be careful about impulsively bringing in species that strike my fancy, but might disrupt God’s well-laid plans. Life becomes a tangled mess when too many things compete with each other. God’s plans are never unnecessarily complicated.

“Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matt. 11:28-30 MSG)

Psalm 121

I look up to the mountains;
does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.
He won’t let you stumble,
your Guardian God won’t fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel’s
Guardian will never doze or sleep.
God’s your Guardian,
right at your side to protect you—
Shielding you from sunstroke,
sheltering you from moonstroke.
God guards you from every evil,
He guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
He guards you now, he guards you always. (Ps. 121 MSG)

We look up at our problems and they seem as huge and unconquerable as mountains. However, if we look beyond these mountains, we see God, who has power over everything. When we are facing insurmountable obstacles, we must redirect our focus, look past the problems and our inabilities, and look up to the One who is able to surpass any impediment.

 

Our Guardian God is dependable. He doesn’t fall asleep on the job. He doesn’t get tired or distracted. He has been there in the past. He will be there in the future.

Do not be afraid of tomorrow; for God is already there.~Author Unknown

Lust for Vindication

“O Lord, deliver me from this lust of always vindicating myself.” (St. Augustine)

I can identify with St. Augustine’s statement. I too have a compulsion to explain myself. When I feel convicted about a wrong course of action or attitude, my first instinct is to justify why I am the way I am. I tend to defend my position. I may admit that I’m not perfect…but then, who is? I rationalize (mostly to myself) that I have a right to my opinion.

The lust for vindication limits growth. If we are adamant about defending our current position, we are unlikely to accept criticism. While we justify ourselves, we remain stagnant. Focusing on self-gratification prevents us from evolving into mature, compassionate individuals.

Only the Lord can deliver us from this desire to always justify our thoughts and actions. We have to admit to ourselves and others when we are wrong. Then, we ask for divine intervention to fix these flaws in us.

Lord, fix me. Help me to evolve into the person you created me to be.

Lust

According to the dictionary, one of the definitions for lust is--a passionate or overmastering desire or craving. 
 
The phrase 'overmastering desire' seems to fit well with my recent thoughts. 

When your desire becomes your master, then you become the slave.

In the last post, I mentioned how our cravings lead us into common traps. Our lust for security, stability, control, attention, acceptance, understanding, and purpose can be overpowering.

Why would you willingly give up your power and freedom and allow your desires to control you? Some of us are unable to recognize that our obsessions and addictions are enslaving us. Yet, I suspect that most of us are able to sense whether a habit is life-enhancing or life-limiting. 

Love serves. Lust controls. Love leads to growth, a willingness to give of yourself, commitment and devotion. Lust, on the other hand, is rooted in self-gratification and thus leads to stagnation and eventual degradation, discontent, and destruction. If a habit or pursuit causes us to descend rather than ascend, we might want to reevaluate its worthiness. Lust is just misdirected love.

 "Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity.” (1 John. 2:15-17 MSG)

Let Go

Many of you might have heard of monkey traps. These traps consist of a container with a hole cut into it that is just wide enough for a monkey to stick its empty hand into. Something attractive to the monkey is placed in such a container. Most monkeys will reach in for the bait but will not let go and thus are trapped and captured.  I've heard of similar traps being used to catch raccoons as well.

Monkey traps come in many different forms. Our desires for control, financial security, respect, prestige, love, attention, affection, affirmation...can become entrapments. If we refuse to let go of these lures that we imagine will bring us happiness, we will become shackled by our desires and thus unable to live freely. Letting go of our idealistic viewpoints and dreams is difficult. However, once we realize that the alternative is bondage, it's sheer stubbornness to keep hanging on to these ideas.

The truth about monkey traps is that the monkey never gets to enjoy what is within his grasp. What's the point of hanging on to our acquisitions, accomplishments, and relationships, if we can't find satisfaction?

Just Let Go. Release your desires and worries to God. Be free.

Addictions

As most of my friends know, I tend to have an obsessive compulsive streak. When I get fixated on a habit, it's similar to an addiction. I know it is not life-enhancing, yet I can't seem to change. It's like I'm in a desert, and all I can think of is how to get a drink.

“If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Rivers of living water will brim and spill out of the depths of anyone who believes in me this way" (John 7:37-39 MSG)

I am thirsty and parched. I long for a drink. This desire overtakes everything else. I become obsessed with finding an oasis, but I can't differentiate a mirage from a real aquifer.

Come to me and drink. In order to quench our desire, we have to be able to distinguish between a real source and a mirage. The longer we remain dehydrated, the more susceptible we are to hallucinations. Once we find a source of water, we must not wander away. We must come to the aquifer and drink.

God is the source and culmination of our desire. His Spirit brims and spills out of our depths. This Spirit satisfies our thirst. This is the perpetual spring that nourishes our soul. Everything else is just a mirage.

Faithfulness

What does it mean to be faithful? Between spouses, it has been reduced to mean 'refraining from adultery'. If you are faithful to a cause or a job, it means you are loyal. If you are faithful to a habit, it implies you do it consistently.

Faithfulness is so much more than consistency, loyalty, and fidelity. Faith equals trust. When you have faith in someone, you trust them enough to follow them into any situation. How many of us trust our spouses enough to follow them into bankruptcy or homelessness?

This level of faithfulness has to be reserved for a higher power. Relying on a spouse, or a job, or a cause to lead you in the right direction can be short-sighted. Humans are not meant to function under that kind of pressure. Misplaced faith leads to toppled lives.

Remain faithful to God. Be willing to follow Him into any situation. He is trustworthy. His plans are dependable. Even when they make no sense to us, even when it involves suffering, we can be sure that God will not lead us in the wrong direction.

"Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." (Job 13:15 NKJV)

Warriors

I just finished reading The Art of War by Sun Tzu. It’s filled with military strategies. Some of the ideas can be useful in dealing with our daily battles.

 “If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.” (Sun Tzu)

Understanding your opponent involves an impartial analysis of his skills and weaknesses. Carefully study your opponent. An opponent doesn’t necessarily have to be your enemy. It can be anyone you have dealings with, whether it’s a friend, a client, a coworker, an employer, or a family member.

It is hard to be impartial when you feel passionate about a situation. And, it’s difficult to fight for something if you don’t believe passionately in it. Knowing your enemy without being clouded by emotion is harder than it sounds at first.

Knowing ourselves involves being conscious of the enemy within. Our weak areas have to be shielded. Our skills have to be strengthened. Tests of stamina and endurance may improve our confidence. However, good judgment, self-control, and mental discipline are the keys to fighting our inner battles.

“Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?” (Sun Tzu)

Awareness allows us to leap up to a higher plane. It’s the difference between being a foot soldier and a warrior on a horse. A warrior on a horse can see much farther, and this perspective gives him an advantage. Conscious awareness of ourselves and others allows us to move past mere good intentions to winning these battles.

Expressive People

I’ve been noticing the difference between expressive and inexpressive individuals. Expressive people are always communicating verbally and nonverbally. They have animated faces, maintain eye contact, smile, talk without reservation, their arms gesticulate and reach out without hesitation. On the other hand, inexpressive people are hard to read. Their emotions and feelings are a mystery. They look disinterested. Frequently, they are misconstrued as unfriendly.

I’m so animated that I could be a cartoon character! I have big eyes on a small face, a bobbly head on the end of a long neck, hands that gesticulate wildly, while words spill out of my mouth incessantly. However, I’m very familiar with people on the other end of the spectrum. I have several close friends and family members that are introverted. Some of them have told me that it takes a lot of energy for them to express themselves. This was really difficult for me to understand. I naturally assumed that they just are not as interested in me as I in them.

 

Then, I thought of this analogy: Some refrigerators have ice dispensers on the door. You just have to go press your glass on the dispenser and you can fill up on ice, crushed or cubed, without a second thought. Fridges that don’t have this option require you to open the freezer door, take out ice trays, wiggle the plastic trays back and forth to dislodge a few cubes, then refill them back with water, and then put them back in the freezer. It’s so much more work to get some ice this way that most of the time one only takes the minimum that is needed.

Some of us easily dispense our feelings. All one has to do is lean a bit on us. Everything that is within us comes pouring out and occasionally, more than is needed. On the other hand, introverts require a bit more work to access. It’s just how they are made. Extroverts can’t get frustrated about this. At least these introverts aren’t spilling their guts out to everybody indiscriminately.

Extroverts may seem needier than introverts. Well, that’s because introverts are used to getting what they want from us extroverts without much effort. Their cup runneth over with attention in any form they desire. Introverts have to understand that extroverts rarely get filled up. We understand how much work it takes to extract a cube of emotion from them, and we only take the bare minimum for each occasion.

I agree that extroverts tend to have it easier in life. People perceive them as friendly, expressive and responsive. Yet, when paired with introverts, we tend to come off as needy attention seekers. Maybe if we understood each other’s differences it wouldn’t be as frustrating. Maybe expressive people wouldn’t keep pushing their cup against an introvert’s non-dispensing door. And maybe, inexpressive people wouldn’t take for granted how easily their cup is filled.