Self-Sabotage

“I can’t explain my actions. Here’s why: I am not able to do the things I want; and at the same time, I do the things I despise.” (Romans 7:15 VOICE)

I have a weird running gait. My right foot points outward slightly, causing the heel to rub against my left foot. The skin on my left foot gets scraped by my right foot. I try to straighten my right leg as I run, but this requires a great deal of focus. However, the second I get tired or distracted, I go back to my familiar gait pattern. I can’t explain my actions. My brain controls both legs. Why would I allow one foot to hurt the other? I am not able to do the things I want; and at the same time, I do the things which hurt myself.

The essence of self-sabotage is behaving in such a way that damages your own well-being. Our mind controls all the parts of our being. Why wouldn’t we modify patterns that lead to self-destruction? Some are unaware that their choices are hurting themselves. Others are conscious, but they feel their familiar habits are not worth changing or are too difficult to give up. We blame our upbringing, our lack of willpower, and our human nature. But as long as our operating system is based on our own will, we continue down the path of destruction. 

“Those who let themselves be controlled by their lower natures live only to please themselves, but those who follow after the Holy Spirit find themselves doing those things that please God.” (Romans 8:5 TLB)

Our conscious choices are shaped by desires, traditions, ideas, egos, identities, lifestyles, relationships, culture, and a myriad of other influences. As long as our operating system is controlled by our will and not God’s will, we continue down the path of self-sabotage. Only when our impulses are triggered by the Spirit of God, only when we live to please God and not ourselves, are we finally free to heal.