Easter Eggs

When I was a kid, I loved Easter egg hunts. I would search under bushes and behind trees for those colorful plastic eggs filled with candy. After I gathered them in my basket, I would go and sit down with my loot and carefully open each egg and examine the treasure inside.

Every day I find little packages of God's glory: the snow on tree branches, the words in a book, a phrase from a song. Sometimes, friends share their discoveries and experiences of God encounters in their lives. I collect all these treasures in my mind, and when I get a chance, I sit down and unpack these thoughts.

I wonder at the nuggets of truth and wisdom that spill out from each little unassuming incident. I always have to crack open the exterior, obvious shell since the best parts are always hidden inside. Then comes my favorite part. Tasting, savoring, and chewing on the contents. 

Writing is how I unpack my thoughts. I examine each little packet and as I crack them open, out spills God's glory. I taste, savor, and chew.

I guess that makes blogging similar to chewing with my mouth open! ;-)

God-Employed

I used to be employed by a large, state-funded, non-profit organization. I did my job, got paid, and never really worried about collections, revenue, overhead, insurance etc. Although the organization did customer satisfaction surveys, the results didn't seem to make any big waves. As long as the state funding wasn't cut we were free to focus on our specific tasks. The pay wasn't great, but the benefits made up for that.

I have friends who are self-employed. They are their own boss. In theory, they should have more flexibility and independence. Yet they have to be so involved in every detail of their business, including buying furniture for their break rooms, Christmas gift baskets for their clients, collecting payments from customers, and paying utilities and expenses. Poor customer satisfaction can be crippling for these businesses.

We are all called to serve God by serving others. When we are self-employed people-servers, we tend to be much more involved in the minutiae and the logistics of our tasks. Pleasing the people we serve, their satisfaction, and their reactions become extremely important to us. When we see ourselves as employees of God, we are free to do our job and leave all the day-to-day details to a Higher Power. Although we would like to have high customer satisfaction reviews, it's not as crucial as pleasing our Employer.

As long as I remember that I'm employed by God and not running my own franchise under God's name, I can freely do the work assigned to me without obsessing over results, logistics, or the approval of others.

Surrender

In most instances the word 'surrender' implies defeat, weakness, and powerlessness. The criminal surrenders to the police. The conquered soldiers surrender to their enemies.

However, surrendering can also be a sign of deep love. Think of the last time you relinquished something valuable to or for someone you loved.

Most of us Christians claim to surrender our lives to God. Yet our prayers reflect otherwise. We hand over our projects to God with instructions on how we would like everything done. For example, I surrender my child to God and then pray that he will grow into a well-rounded, well-adjusted, productive person. This is more like handing over a blueprint to a contractor than total surrender.

What if, daily, we surrendered one thing to God, just out of love?  No further instructions. Just complete trust.

Contemplative Prayer

A TV commercial for orange juice caught my attention today. A man sits in a booth at a diner, surrounded by several people he will encounter that day. The group included a toll booth cashier, a construction worker, coworkers and family members. Each person tells the man of the challenges that they will present to him that day. He calmly listens and says, "Well it's a good thing that I've got my orange juice."

Contemplative prayer is similar. I sit with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We hash out the past, present and future. God gives me instructions and insights on how to process everything I encounter. I listen. I inhale the Holy Spirit. I exhale Jesus. 

An awkward moment from my past drifts into my memory. I ask God to show me what I need to learn from it. Phrases and images float through my head. I take notes.

I lay out my present concerns. I'm worried about a certain person. Is there anything I can do to help? I'm considering tackling a new project. Should I leave it for a later time or another person? I am thankful for any suggestions and even the silence.

I present my plans for the upcoming day and week. I ask for God's guidance and presence in every situation that might come up. I especially pray for the unplanned events, the God-planned surprises. As I get up to face the day, I'm glad I'm fueled by the Holy Spirit.

Waiting vs. Resting

I spend a lot of time waiting. I wait in the car when I'm picking up my son. I wait on my husband to come home from work. I wait in lines, wait in traffic, wait on the phone and wait in restaurants. So I should be an expert at waiting by now. Yet when I read verses about waiting for the Lord, I'm a bit confused.

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (Psalm 27:14 NIV)

Is this about being patient while trusting in God's timing? Or is it just an acknowledgment that God's really busy and I have to wait my turn?

"Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him." (Psalm 37:7 KJV)

Our waiting times can be seen as opportunities for rest, moments to be still, a chance to soak in the Spirit's presence. It's a time to lean into God and breathe Him in.

Step Out of the Traffic

"Be still and know that I am God."  (Ps. 46:10 NLT)
"Step out of the traffic."   (Ps. 46:10 MSG) 

Be still, be silent, get out of the business of busyness. Step out of the traffic and drive on the less frequented country roads of our minds.

As I'm writing this, I'm already stressed. The alarm goes off on my cell phone reminding me it's time to exercise. I get up and turn it off indefinitely. I will exercise, but it's not going to take precedence over my time with God.

I'm already agitated about all the things I have to do today and all that was left undone yesterday. This is not a good time to take the scenic country roads. What I really need today is an HOV lane that would get me ahead of the traffic!

Be still. Calm down. Take a deep breath.

"Take a long, loving look at me, your High God." (Ps. 46:10 MSG)

I close my eyes. I quiet my mind. In the stillness, I recognize God's presence. I look. I feel. Words are useless.

Lent

Ash Wednesday. The first day of Lent. I've always thought of Lent as the spiritual New Year. A chance to make resolutions to improve yourself and your surroundings. It's much easier to commit to doing things differently for just 40 days as opposed to a whole year anyway.

Catholics have a tradition of giving up things for Lent. One year my family gave up TV. It opened up so much more time to do other things. I gave up Facebook the last few Lenten seasons, and got a few extra hours a week for more substantive pursuits.

This year I don't want to give up anything. Instead I would like to add an evening devotional time. After dinner, I would like to make a cup of tea, sit in my favorite chair, and spend some time reading, praying and writing.

I can already foresee the temptations. I will feel compelled to join my family in watching American Idol on TV. I will want to write on my laptop instead of on paper. While typing on the laptop, I'll be drawn to the internet to look up words on the online dictionary or verses on the online concordance. Once I'm online, it'll be hard to ignore emails or chat messages. I will be able to justify my desires by telling myself that people are more important than any pointless self-created legalism. Besides, I never specified how long this devotion time had to be.  Five minutes might be good enough some days! Anyway, I made up the resolution, so I can change the parameters too!

Today, I shall surrender my Lenten resolution to God.

Lord, I would like to carve out some time in the evenings to sit with you. Please help me not to succumb to temptations and distractions. Amen.

Depression

"Depression tends to turn us away from the everyday things of God’s creation. But whenever God steps in, His inspiration is to do the most natural, simple things--things we would never have imagined God was in, but as we do them we find Him there. The inspiration that comes to us in this way is an initiative against depression. But we must take the first step and do it in the inspiration of God. If, however, we do something simply to overcome our depression, we will only deepen it. But when the Spirit of God leads us instinctively to do something, the moment we do it the depression is gone. As soon as we arise and obey, we enter a higher plane of life."
(My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers)

This quote reminds me to seek divine inspiration instead of human solutions. Sacred nudges can be simple but life changing. Human solutions, on the other hand, can sometimes make things worse. However, applying these principles to depression seems like over-simplification because when someone is depressed, it's hard to see anything.

I recently realized that when driving in foggy conditions, one should use low beam headlights instead of high beams. This seems counterintuitive. We think that high beams should pierce through the fog, but instead it just reflects right back and decreases visibility further. So if you have to travel in foggy conditions, it's best to use normal headlights and drive slowly.

When we are surrounded in a fog of despair, it's hard to see or hear God. So we try to get around in ways that make sense to us. We get involved in diversions, anything that helps us forget our troubles. However, these human solutions dissipate our focus and put us in an even thicker fog.

We must seek divine guidance. Slow down. Breathe in God's Spirit. Trust Him. Let Him control every move. Keep looking forward.

Initiative

Automobile technology has advanced so much since I started driving. Now we have cars that start without a key in the ignition, cars that parallel park themselves, cars with rear view cameras, and GPS that directs you to your destination. I'm sure they will have some sort of autopilot feature soon, where one just has to punch in the destination, sit back, and watch a DVD or play on a computer while the car takes over driving.

When life becomes so automated, we lose our drive. When we don't need to take the initiative to even keep track of our keys, turn the ignition, turn our heads to look for obstacles, remember directions, or develop parking skills, we become detached from the whole process. Active engaged drivers turn into passive passengers.

Maintaining relationships takes motivation. We need to keep track of key principles like sacrificial love, generosity, acceptance, and empathy. We have to initiate contact, to reach out, to ignite the spark between ourselves and others.

The same metaphor applies to our relationship with God. It's easy to slip into an auto pilot mode, repeating the same prayers, while being distracted by trivial pursuits. We can become unaware of our surroundings, make no effort to study directions from God, or develop the discipline of resting in His presence.

If automation is making you disconnected, it's time to shift gears. Do whatever it takes to stay awake. Stay engaged.
 

Losing my Mind

Some nights I lie awake, my thoughts careening wildly like a chariot that is pulled by multiple horses. The reins of my brain have slipped out of my control.

The following Bible verse pulsates in the back of my head:

"We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5 MSG)

Ah... to be able to hand every loose thought, emotion and impulse over into the hands of God!

"You're blessed when you are at the end of your rope, with less of you there is more of God and his rule". (Matt 5:3 MSG)

Hmm... I wonder if losing control of your mind is a prerequisite to God controlling your brain? I guess it depends on who picks up the reins once you've dropped them? Maybe we shouldn't drop them... maybe we should carefully hand them over into the reliable hands of God.

When we get to our Wit's End, we encounter God. 

God-sense

What leads some minds to be more receptive to God? Why are some people more likely to recognize and perceive God?

Researchers have been using PET scans and MRI's to study brain activity in religiously-inclined people. They found higher levels of activity in certain areas of the brain during spiritual thoughts. A few years ago, there was a lot of scientific buzz about a 'God Spot' in the brain's temporal lobe that enabled humans to have faith. Now they think that many different areas of the brain work together in providing our God-sense.

I think that many areas of brain function can be improved by frequent usage. Some people have trained their ears to recognize even slight variations in musical notes. Professionals in the fragrance industry train their sense of smell to distinguish between hundreds of different scents. Similarly, I think we can nurture our spiritual intuition if we are passionate and disciplined about it. The more we seek God, the more we know Him, the better the chances become of developing our God-sense.

Quiet Prophets

I recently had an epiphany at Menard's, our local building supply store. I had been to this store hundreds of times before. But this time, I went with a close friend who is a builder.

She opened my eyes and enlarged my perspective. She pointed out textures, colors, and finishes that I had never noticed before. With her as my guide, I learned and experienced so much more.

Similarly, God places spiritual guides in our midst. Their experiences and insights can widen our perspective, help us see and feel like never before. They point out nuances, shades of meaning, that we might have missed.

Some people are reluctant to share their wisdom because of their humility. These quiet prophets are all around us; yet unless we ask them to teach us, we might never benefit from their experiences.

Persecution

"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom." (Matt 5:10 MSG)

The word persecution conjures up images of martyrs and Chinese Christians who are jailed for their faith. Yet persecution comes in many forms. Whenever we commit ourselves to God and do what is right, we become a threat to the devil, and he starts tripping us up. Trouble may come in the form of illness, criticism, fears, doubts, worries, anxieties, and insecurities. Evil uses every angle and every weapon to harass us.

We don't respond the same way to every trial. Sometimes afflictions lead to bitterness and defensiveness. We promise ourselves not to be vulnerable any more. Other times, adversity leads us to faith and trust in God. We realize that our power is limited against the enemy, that the battle is not ours but God's.

As long as all these tribulations just drive us closer to God, instead of away from God... evil loses and God wins.

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." (John 16:33 NLT)

Husband 3.0

Remember Windows 2.0? I do. It was my first computer operating system (OS). It came out in 1987. It had screens that overlapped, minimized and maximized! I was smitten. Although Microsoft kept coming up with updates, I was reluctant to accept changes.  That is, until Windows 95 came out. This OS opened up my world in a whole new way. For the first time I had a "Start" button and a "Task bar"! Eventually, I realized that every few years my operating system would change. Although it took some effort to adapt, it was almost always an improvement.

Most of the cells of the human body are replaced every 7-10 years. So if you've been with your spouse for more than a decade, you've probably noticed that neither of you are the same as when you first met. We grow, our operating systems get upgraded, our perspectives change. This is a good thing.

I met my husband in 1987. We got married 3 years later. He was upgraded in 1995 to the father of my child. He has continually evolved in ways I could never have imagined 25 years ago. He is stronger, kinder, and funnier. He is capable of processing multiple problems while remaining calm. He is confident, skillful, talented, knowledgeable, and marvelously efficient. I rely on him daily. Now, I eagerly await the new changes that are coming. I can't imagine how things could be better; But I know God is a visionary and He is already secretly working on the next upgrade.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Single Income Family

My husband is the only wage-earner in our family. I admire him for shouldering this huge responsibility without a trace of complaint.

Things must be easier for partners who share all the responsibilities equally. If one loses his job or gets sick, the other can take over without much difficulty.

I am the 'Keeper of Faith' in my family. I tend the fire, adding, stoking, blowing... making sure God's light doesn't go out from our home. That His Spirit is always incoming. This weighs me down sometimes. I get tired.

I read the following line in My Utmost for His Highest recently:
"Until others learn to draw on the life of the Lord Jesus directly, they will have to draw on His life through you."

Just as a nursing mom needs to continually hydrate herself, I need to regularly replenish my soul with God's Spirit.

Looking Out for One Another

I've noticed that Eastern cultures, who tend to value conformity, are open to pointing out any deviation from the norm. However, Americans tend to be hesitant about judging others, because they cherish individuality and freedom of expression.

Most Christians feel reluctant to point out when their friends are on the wrong track, because the Bible does say, "Why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?" (Matt 7:3 NLT)

If your friend had a booger sticking out of her nose, would you let her know? Or would you decide it's none of your business, maybe she meant to look that way?

If you're my friend, I'd hope you wouldn't let me walk around like that!

Good friends should have permission to be open with each other. Some of our personal boundaries need to be relaxed. If one of us is about to do something foolish, the other needs to speak up. We need to interfere in each other's lives, look out for one another. So ask your close friends for advice, share your experiences, hold each other accountable.

The Godfather

For years, I have been praying that God would reveal Himself to my family members. I've never thought that this was motivated by self-interest, but it is. I'm hoping that once everyone is in the same boat going in the same direction, our lives will be wholesome, safe, peaceful, and easier.

If God appeared in person and asked us to do something difficult and painful, I wouldn't be too thrilled. I just want enough God to protect us from evil, and lead good lives, yet not expect us to do anything too uncomfortable.

I can see that my relationship is skewed. I treat God like He is the patriarch in The Godfather movies. I expect Him to provide favors and protection from thugs, but I'm hoping he won't ask me to lay my life on the line.

This reminded me of a poem I'd read long time ago by Wilbur Rees:

Three Dollars Worth of God

I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.
Not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep,
but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk
or a snooze in the sunshine.
I don’t want enough of God to make me love a black man
or pick beets with a migrant.
I want ecstasy, not transformation.
I want warmth of the womb, not a new birth.
I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack.
I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.

— Wilbur Rees

Spiritual Junk Food

Most of my choices are motivated by a desire to please. I am usually trying to please others, myself, or God. Sometimes they all seems to blur together.

I cook a meal that my family enjoys, which pleases me, which pleases God. Right? Well, that depends. My family is very fond of junk food. So we can make unhealthy choices that are pleasing to others and ourselves that cannot be justified as pleasing to God.

"You're going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food-- catchy opinions that tickle their fancy." (2 Timothy 4:3-5 MSG)

What is pleasing to God may not always be pleasing to others or to oneself.

I like writing uplifting pieces. These always get positive responses from my friends. I'm reluctant to write about subjects that may be perceived as preachy or judgmental. Yet, if I ignore convicting messages because they may be unpopular, then I'm just dispensing spiritual junk food.

Why, God?

A youth pastor and his wife died in a car crash a few days ago. They were dedicated, faithful servants of God. Their children are now orphans.

This makes no sense to me.

Lord, why would You allow this to happen?

I went to the book of Job, where God answers a similar question. Job is a righteous, faithful man. Yet God allowed great suffering in his life. Job asks the question that we have all asked, "What did I do to deserve this?" (Job 30:24 MSG)

God answers by pointing to the complexity of creation, every mystery in the universe. I read through God's answer. I was still not satisfied.

Then I remembered something that I understood but couldn't help my son comprehend. For the laws of sines and cosines, the formulas work for acute angles in triangles but not for obtuse angles because they extend into the 2nd quadrant. My son said what most of you are thinking right now, "That makes no sense!"

I replied, "Just because it is a complicated concept that is beyond your understanding, that doesn't make it nonsense. It just does not make sense to you."

In my attempt to understand God, I simplify Him, reduce His mystery to everyday analogies to which I can relate. My formulas only work for 1st quadrant stuff. When something comes up in other realms that are beyond my comprehension, I get agitated. I just have to accept that it makes sense to God and even if He tried to explain it to me, I wouldn't understand.

Work and Spend Cycle

Many people work such long hours that they have very little time or energy left for anything else in life. This is widely accepted as what normal responsible grown ups do. If we choose to earn less than our maximum potential, we are seen as slackers. If we live way below our means, we are portrayed as misers. In order to justify a work and spend cycle, we train ourselves to enjoy the finer (code for expensive) things in life.

My family spends a few dollars in gas to go hiking in our local state parks. We do this frequently throughout the year. It brings us closer as a family and creates wonderful memories. We also take expensive trips that add up to several thousand dollars. These trips are exciting, but they do not enhance the quality of our lives exponentially.

I've started measuring cost in terms of work hours. A few years ago we thought of building a nicer house. I calculated that at our present rate of savings, it would take my husband an extra five years of work to pay for the upgrade. Not to mention that the upkeep and maintenance would further increase our annual cost of living, adding even more years of bondage. We decided that the cost in time was too high.

Many people in this world do not have a choice but to work the maximum available hours so that they can feed and shelter their families. If your family can barely afford the hut you're living in, and you don't have food for your next meal, please disregard everything I've written.

Messiah's Misfits

"We're the Messiah's misfits... We live in the midst of frailties and uncertainties... when they spread rumors about us, we put in a good word for them. We are treated like garbage." (1 Corinthians 4:9-13, excerpts from MSG)

These verses remind me of some family friends who give of themselves generously. Although they have struggles, like most families do, they regularly open up their home. They donate their talent, time, energy and money. Yet they routinely face criticism. I am always shocked when others question their motives.

Christ faced criticism, so those of us who are followers of Christ should expect the same. Most of the apostles were seen as troublemakers. Heroes like Gandhi, Mother Theresa and Martin Luther were all misfits in their time. Most of the martyrs were considered rebels.

However, not every weirdo is a hero. We have to make sure that we aren't just striking out on our own path but on God's path. We are the Messiah's misfits, not just plain fools.

Sorting Priorities

It was time to sort out my priority list. I sat down with a large piece of paper, since I am a very busy person with LOTS to do. I divided the paper into sections and labeled them 1 through 4. My plan was to list all the things I need to do by importance. Level 1 would be top priority and Level 4 would be the least important. I asked God to grant me discernment.

On top of the list, I wrote: "Know God Intimately".
Then I just sat thinking for a while...

Knowing God intimately would lead to loving God, which would motivate me to serve God. This would automatically lead to loving and serving others. Everything I wanted to do each day could be traced back to this one priority, Knowing God Intimately.

For example, house cleaning is just a form of serving my family and friends. A clean, orderly home can be a comfortable, inviting haven for everyone. So cleaning can be an expression of loving God. Yet, if I have a clean house and I keep it off-limits to maintain order, then it becomes a waste of time and energy.

Exercise is another example. If I exercise and eat properly, I may be able to maintain my health, which allows me to continue to serve God. Instead, if I'm exercising to just look good so I can get compliments and boost my ego, then it's just wasted effort.

I thought about the hundreds of little things I do every week. I realized that if each task wasn't motivated by my first priority, it was useless. So far, my long sheet of paper had only one thing on it:
Know God Intimately

Potty Training

A young mom asked me about potty training today. I gave her several suggestions, but the most important one was to go ahead and switch the toddler to underpants. Skip the pull-up diapers. They have to feel the discomfort of the mess... at least for a few minutes. They have to see and smell what they have done. I also suggested that she clear her schedule and stay available because there would be a lot of laundry and cleaning till the training was done.

While I was giving her this advice, I realized that those lessons from potty training were still relevant even for parents with older children. As good parents, we feel compelled to clean up messes as soon as possible. We have to allow our grown children to feel the effects of the problems they create. Yet, if we keep padding their lives, they remain stagnant.

We have to accept that some of this mess will seep into our lives as well. In order for our sons and daughters to mature into independent adults, we as parents have to be willing to experience the disorder and discomfort along with them. At the same time, we have to stay available to support them as they learn to make better choices, develop new skills, and gain confidence.

Whale Watching

A few years ago, while visiting Alaska, we went on a whale watching cruise.
For hours we looked out over the horizon and finally someone spotted them. A mother whale and her baby. I watched in awe as they revealed their tails, the top of their heads, and their sides. I got the feeling that they were intentional about their movements.  As they swam away, one whale lifted up it's tail and waved, a practice known as lobtailing.  I knew I was changed. I had connected with something mystical for a few minutes.

Every day is an opportunity to expectantly look out for God. He might only reveal a tiny fraction of his glory at any given time. It might be in your husband's smile, your friend's tears, your son's passion for music. Yesterday, God gave me a lobtail.  A good friend got a clean PET scan after months of chemotherapy. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for this answered prayer.

We have to be actively looking for God in daily events. These mystical encounters can transform our perspective. We realize our smallness. We recognize our oneness. We are impelled to play our part in the symphony around us.

Going against the grain

"Why do you insist on going against the grain?" (Acts 26:14 MSG)

I've always equated the phrase, "going against the grain", as a symbol for nonconformity. I've never liked following the herd, since I strive to think for myself.

Today, as I read this verse, I realized that the grain in a piece of wood is intrinsic, God-intentioned. Conformity would look more like particle board, with no grain. Particle board is just pieces of wood from different sources, pressed together in a machine, conformed to specific sizes.

Cultural conformity strips us of our ingrained uniqueness. I must look closely at the grain within myself and others around me. Each of us have an inherent pattern laid out by God. I must work with the grain as I sand down the roughness.