Destructive Criticism

According to the dictionary, constructive criticism is advice or criticism that is useful and intended to help or improve something.

Most critics will argue that their intentions are to help and improve the situation, but in my experience, criticism is more often destructive than constructive.
  
Destructive criticism is worse than useless--it is downright harmful. It destroys self-esteem, weakens marriages, and tears apart relationships. Some critical people believe that it makes them feel better to air their grievances about others, even though they can’t change them.

“Our present time is indeed a criticizing and critical time. Our complaints are like arrows shot up into the air at no target: and with no purpose they only fall back upon our own heads and destroy ourselves.” ~William Temple

How many times have you received criticism that compelled you to change? Personal change is rarely induced by the opinion of others, but because of internal convictions. There are a few people who regularly invest in my life and have gained my respect. They are the only ones who have the power to motivate me to change.

Next time you feel the need to offer constructive criticism, ask yourself if this is likely to promote change or just cause more damage.

Managing Destruction

Recently, I saw the movie John Carter. I wouldn’t recommend it. The plot is convoluted. An ex civil war soldier is transported to Mars, where he joins a battle against evil, involving dark angels, various alien creatures, and two opposing human civilizations! The movie had a few memorable lines though. One of the evil angels says: “We do not cause the destruction of a world…We simply manage it. Feed off it, if you like. It is a game we have been playing since the beginning…We will continue to play it long after Earth ends.”

I found this concept interesting. The dark angel goes on to say how civilizations eventually self-destruct by war, over-consumption of resources, or the desire for domination. The powers of evil just have to manage, supervise, and occasionally manipulate, while humans destroy themselves and their surroundings.

This got me thinking… How does evil go about manipulating me into self-destruction?

C.S. Lewis, in his book The Screw Tape Letters, describes the subtle, yet methodical tactics of evil. Impatience grows into annoyance, which comes out as angry and hurtful words. Pride and stubbornness promote self-righteousness and legalism. Self-interest leads to apathy towards others. Gluttony and greed become acceptable. The powers of darkness casually wait on the sidelines. A suggestion here, a tweak of emotion there, and humans can degenerate on their own.

Fortunately, God knew that humans were flawed, and He made a plan to save us from destruction.
“And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.  In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.” (2 Peter 1:4-7 NLT)

Picking Burdens

The other day, I went to my favorite hangout. The Library. I’ve mentioned before that I used to carry a large gym bag on wheels to load up my books. Then I noticed that the librarians started referring to me as the ‘bag lady’. Not to mention, my son was a bit embarrassed to go to the library with me. So I decided to ditch the bag on wheels. This time I was at the library with no book bag, trying to look cool. But, as usual, I couldn’t limit myself to fewer than 20 books. So I just ended up looking like a nerd who forgot her book bag! I almost tripped down the stairs, because I couldn’t see where I was going. I know that I can only read maybe 2 or 3 books in the 3 weeks before these books are due. Yet, I pick up more than I can handle because it all looks interesting. Just because the library allows me to choose as many books as I want, doesn’t mean I should.

I do the same with burdens and worries. I pick up more than I can handle. I know that there are few things that I have power over. I also know that I have limited time and energy. Yet, I pick up worries that might trip me up, and carry these burdens home. They lie around just cluttering up my life.

I need to be more selective in the burdens I pick up. I can only deal with so many at one time. I have to be realistic about my limitations. Just because I have the choice to pick up burdens that are not meant for me, doesn’t mean I should.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

Soul Quakes

I read the word ‘soul quake’ in the article by Willard that I mentioned yesterday. I’d never heard this word before, but instantly loved it.
　
Here is Willard’s description of a soul quake:
“It is a subtle shifting of vision, of feeling and will—of how people see things and feel about things, especially about themselves and what they are doing. The shifts in belief and the conscious decisions are only the epicenter of the ‘soul quake.’ They lie at the surface of life. The center lies miles deep in the soul of the individuals involved.” (Excerpt from “Living in the Vision of God” by Dallas Willard)

Have you ever experienced such a soul quake? A shift in the tectonic plates deep within you that changes the surface landscape of your life? I have. I’ve had quakes that led to devastating tsunamis that washed away everything. I also have small-scale daily quakes, so subtle that I hardly notice them anymore. I am no longer the person I was 30 years ago. Each soul quake shifts my perspective, my attitude, my decisions, and subsequently the topography of my life.

“When the earth quakes and its people live in turmoil, I am the one who keeps its foundations firm.” (Psalm 75:3 NLT)

God is aware of every situation that shakes our core. He notices every rift and every crack. Our Lord keeps us steady, prevents us from caving into ourselves. God keeps us firm and stable, even through the soul quakes.

Vision vs. Mission

I recently read a very good article by Dallas Willard titled “Living in the Vision of God”. Here is a link to the article:
http://www.dwillard.org/articles/artview.asp?artid=96

It’s a long article, and I had to read it several times to digest it. Willard talks about how a godly person might have a vision and found a movement. Others are attracted to this person’s fire or charisma and become followers. But somewhere along the line the mission takes over the original vision, and what starts off as passion, fire, and love for Christ ends up becoming a building project.

Building projects can be typical brick and mortar structures. They can also be just concepts of expansion. For example, an individual may be on fire to love and serve God. Her passion attracts others. The group is on a mission to spread Christ’s love. The logistics of where, when, how, finances, scheduling, and flyers overshadow the original vision. Expansion, growth, goals, success, numbers, etc. become the focus. The vision becomes blurry, while the mission becomes the driving force.

Willard has some suggestions for postponing this inevitable drift from the original vision. If God is our first love, we will have a natural inclination to muse upon God all the time. Continual meditation on God leads us to the realization of our own inadequacy in contrast to God’s all-sufficiency. Humility in our abilities leads to dependence on God. What follows is a boldness in our hearts that is based on confidence in God’s capacity. This juxtaposition of humility and boldness keeps us from taking over God’s vision.

Riding in the Back Seat

Recently, I experienced a milestone in my life. I rode in the back seat of my car while my first-born drove on the freeway. I about peed in my pants! I managed to keep my bladder control, but I couldn’t hold in my anxious gasps. Every time he drove on a curving overpass at 70 mph, I felt sure we were all going to die. It took me awhile to figure out that my perspective from the back seat was different from what the driver saw from the front seat.

We’ve all heard of ‘back-seat drivers’, passengers who are riding in the back seat of a car, but feel compelled to constantly criticize and correct the driver. Some of us exhibit this trait outside cars as well. We give advice and instruction in situations where others are in control, where we don’t have the same perspective. We take over responsibilities that are not ours, thereby diminishing the sense of competence of others.

I am learning to be a back-seat rider. Someone who is within reach when the driver needs companionship or advice. I want to give others space to make their own decisions and their own mistakes. I want them to feel accepted, independent, competent. I want them to know I trust them and believe in their ability to figure things out. Most of all, I need to acknowledge that I myself am not an expert in anything and don’t have all the right answers.

First Psychotic Breaks

My husband feeds me little bits of interesting information regularly. Sometimes it’s just a goofy joke from Facebook. Other times it’s something he read in a medical journal. Yesterday, he told me how young people are more likely to have psychotic breaks due to the stress of all the transitions they go through. Young adults in their late teens and early twenties face a lot of changes and challenges. Moving away from home for college, increased responsibilities and pressures, career planning, paying their own bills, lack of sleep and proper nutrition, hormonal fluctuations, moral quandaries, relationship issues, all can lead to feelings of instability. Some young people face additional challenges like learning disabilities, social anxiety, alcohol or drug dependencies, financial hardships, health problems, or low self esteem. It’s amazing that anyone comes out of this phase without getting bruised!

I’ve been thinking about how, as parents we can assist our young men and women through these minefields without self-destructing. Prayer is the first thing that comes to mind. We have to surrender our young people into God’s hands and constantly remind ourselves that God is in control. I’m reminded of the Israelites facing the Red Sea while being pursued by the Egyptian army from the rear. God made a way, where there was no way.

As parents, we also need to be respectful and accepting of our young people. Their choices might not make sense to us, yet we need to acknowledge that they have the right to choose. We also have to be available and on-call. Young adults might not need parents as much as young children, but sometimes we are their only source of stability.

I don’t have much experience in these things and as usual, most of this writing is just notes to myself…

Bossy Pants

Here’s my latest business idea. You’ve seen pants with words written across the backside. I’ve seen ‘juicy’, ‘hottie’, and various college logos. Well, my version of this design would have the word ‘Bossy’ emblazoned on the rear! Great Idea, right?!

Yes, I’m a self-proclaimed bossy pants. I inherited the bossy gene from both my parents. (Note to self: design ‘Bossy Jeans’ next!) My sister, on the other hand, is accommodating and cooperative. Unfortunately, this makes her the recipient of the rest of the family’s domineering ways.

Sometimes I forget how damaging bossiness can be. It diminishes others. God created humans and gave us free will. He has an ideal vision for each of our lives, yet He does not push His agenda on us. We are given the choice to make mistakes and learn from them. When I impose my will on others, I dehumanize them.

I would not necessarily want the word ‘accommodating’ written on the back of my pants either! (Actually, I would never want anything written on my butt!) What I would like is to change from being bossy, but not so far as becoming passive. Neither pushy nor a push-over. I would like to be assertive, principled, and respectful of others’ boundaries. To be bold when defending the rights of others, yet accepting when their vision is different than my agenda.

Battling Guilt

According to Cathy Guisewite, creator of “Cathy” comic strip, “Food, love, career and Mothers are the four major guilt groups.”

Tell me about it!

If I could draw a sketch about guilt it would look like this: There would be a cliff labeled ‘Societal Standards’. Then across from it, there would be another cliff labeled ‘Reality’. In between the gap, between these two cliff edges, would be a river labeled guilt, and I would be swimming in it. If I could draw, I would have made a t-shirt out of it!

I wish I were impervious to guilt. Wish I had a guilt-free recipe for life. Instead, I’m so familiar with this emotion that I’ve made up my own stages of guilt: shame, anger, doubt, dejection, and isolation.

I’ve been wondering how to defend against guilt. Do I just ignore it? Do I accept that I can never meet societal expectations? Or should I internalize these standards and use guilt as a motivating factor to propel me towards them?

I don’t know… I feel dejected and want to be left alone.

Motivation for Change

What motivates an alcoholic to quit drinking? Or an obese person to lose weight? Most of us realize the need for change and the benefits these changes bring. Yet, we are unable to turn around, even when we know we are headed in the wrong direction. That is, until some situation gets our attention.

Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, says the following about this subject: “We don't change too often when we see the light, but we always change when we feel the heat. God lights a fire under us and we get moving.”

The biggest motivation for change is affliction. The more horrible the pain, the more galvanized we are to alter the trajectory of our course. The possibility of gain also spurs us to change, although not as intensely.

The most transformative times of my life have been shrouded in pain. I used to be proud (bordering on arrogant), self-reliant and completely sure of myself. I had my plan and knew I was organized enough to implement it. Then life rolled in like an ocean, with unceasing, unpredictable waves, tossing my plans.

We question why God allows suffering. God created us in His image, in His mold. As Rick Warren says, “He's more interested in your character than your comfort.” Character formation, not personal happiness, is God’s goal for us.

God’s Part vs. Our part

Some people take credit for all that is good in their lives, yet blame God or their circumstances for everything that goes wrong. Every blessing, opportunity, and circumstance is from God. Some of us have succeeded because we are talented, wise, disciplined, intelligent, responsible, and hard- working… all this, too, is from God. So what is our part?

When my husband is fixing something, I try to help. I’ve learned to give him a lot of elbow room to work. I just wait quietly and stay a few feet to the side till he asks me to hold something or go get a tool.

I think this is how God works too. Our part is to get our egos out of the way so God can do his part. Our ego tells us that we can fix ourselves and our situations. It tells us that we have the tools and the knowledge to use them properly. We occasionally ask for God’s input, but then we crowd Him with our opinions and instructions.

Along with giving God ample space to work, we must also wait by His side attentively. We can’t just leave the premises thinking we have no role in God’s work. He usually asks us to assist in some seemingly minor way. God is the Master in every situation. We are always just apprentices in training.

　

Waiting for Inspiration

Several people have asked me how I can come up with something to write every morning. I can’t! Some days, I can sit for hours staring at a sentence, rearranging and rewriting the words over and over again. Other days, the ideas come like a herd of wild horses and I can’t find the sentences to corral them. When uninterrupted time and inspiration coincide, then I’m in a beautiful zone.

Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz, says the following about writing:
“Being a writer is like taking pictures of weather. You have to be there, but so does the weather. If either of you don’t show up, the day is a loss. So, the key to writing is to always be there and hope the weather shows up too.”

I really like this analogy. If I were trying to take pictures of a certain cloud formation, I wouldn’t say: Well, I have 10 minutes this morning. I think I’ll go out and click a few pictures of some cumulonimbus clouds. No, I would have to be patient, be willing to stay outside for however long it took, till the clouds emerged. Now, if it so happened that there were only cirrus clouds on a particular day, then I would probably capture their image even though I set out in search of a different cloud formation.

Every day I sit and wait for the words. Some days they show up; other days I wait alone. I write madly on some days and just sit and think on other days. Most of what I post on this blog is written a week ahead. I like to tweak, edit, and add as my thoughts sit and simmer. Word stew tastes better the longer it sits. The flavors blend and absorb into the pieces. However, there have been times when I read something the next day and it felt stupid. Then I delete the whole thing and start again.

Redemption

The theological concept of Redemption has always been a bit difficult for me to grasp. We use the same word to describe redeeming our checks, glass bottles and used soda cans. We turn something in and get something back. I understand the definition of the word but the theological aspect is what I struggle with.

According to Dallas Willard, “Redemption in Christ is a retrieving of the entire person from alienation from God and opposition to God.”

If it were not for Christ, I would be alienated from God. Following my natural instincts of self-preservation would lead me in the opposite direction from God. Redemption rescues someone who is going in the wrong direction and puts them in the right direction.

When I say that someone has certain “redeeming qualities”, I am using the word redeeming to mean worthwhile. Redemption can thus be a way of redirection, from worthless pursuits to worthwhile ones.

In the Old Testament, Redemption meant to pay off a ransom from slavery. A similar scenario to that in current times would be to bail someone out of jail. When we are alienated from God, we are in bondage to dark forces. Redemption leads to freedom from subjugation. It changes our course and directs us towards enlightenment.

Intelligent Persistence

Most of us have heard the saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

Well, I like Dallas Willard’s version much better, “If at first you don’t succeed- find out what went wrong, fix it, and then try again.”

This reminds me of when my son was first learning to ride his two wheel bike. He was about 5 years old and his bike still had training wheels. He would be riding along slowly and he would come to a bump in the road. The bike would stop. He would try to get over the hump in the same way, over and over again, getting more and more frustrated after each failed attempt. I remember his father’s wise words to him, “Stop, think, try something different.”

Persistence is good, but intelligent persistence is even better. It’s the difference between kicking on a door till it breaks vs. going and finding the key to open it. It’s the difference between repeatedly telling your teenager to do the right thing vs. finding out what his barriers are and showing him how to remove them. Persistence may pay off in the end, however, intelligent persistence pays off sooner.

Grace vs. Discipline

I use the word ‘Grace’ freely. It’s such a pretty, all encompassing, ethereal word. For example:

“I need God’s Grace to forgive my enemies and turn the other cheek.”

“Lord, give me the Grace to fight my weaknesses.”

I was reading and listening to Dallas Willard and jotted down his definitions for these words:

Grace - God doing in my life what I cannot do for myself.

Discipline- training or practice that enables me to do what is in my power.

Yikes! I might need to reevaluate my ideas on Grace. Forgiveness, selflessness, and getting rid of weaknesses might be in my power if I train and practice adequately.

I couldn’t run a marathon right now. Do I need Grace or Discipline to make it happen? If I train and practice, it is probably within my power. The truth is, I don’t want to put forth all that much effort and go through the pain of running a 26 mile race.

Similarly, there are many daily situations which require discipline. Yet, I’m a bit lazy to put forth the effort, so I ask God to do the work for me. I attempt to substitute Grace for my lack of discipline.

_____

Ode to The Paper Book

I was hoping this day would never come. The day when I’m spending more time reading digital material than printed material. I used to go to the library every week with a bag that resembled a suitcase on wheels. The librarians all knew me by name. I would check out 20-30 books at a time. I didn’t really read more than 2-3 books completely. I just liked to have options when I got home. I spent my leisure time in book stores, office supply stores and libraries.

I loved the smell of a new book, the tactile pleasure of good quality paper at my fingertips. I enjoyed writing in notebooks too. Friends gave me palm size journals as gifts. I wrote in them with .9mm mechanical pencils. I drew sketches in the margins, beside my writing. I underlined whatever I thought important with colored gel pens.

I miss the good old days. Now I download e-books from the library on to my tablet. I read articles by my favorite authors online. I look up words on dictionary.com. I type my daily thoughts and save them on my hard drive. I use an online Bible concordance. I look up recipes online rather than using cookbooks.

I still try to hang on to the old ways. I make a point to read paper versions of the Bible and my devotional, first thing in the morning before I get online. I try to write in my journal first and then type it up on the computer. I buy myself office supplies for my birthday. Once a week, I have what I call an “Economist Lunch”, where I read the print version of the Economist magazine while I eat lunch by myself. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to do these things before it feels old-fashioned.

Oh Paper, my friend, I shall miss thee….

Induction vs. Deduction

Now that it is summer, I have a bit of extra time to indulge the nerd in me. So I’ve been reading about the difference between empiricism and rationalism, and here are some excerpts from the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy on this subject:

“Rationalists claim that there are significant ways in which our concepts and knowledge are gained independently of sense experience. Empiricists claim that sense experience is the ultimate source of all our concepts and knowledge.

The Intuition/Deduction thesis claims that we can know some propositions by intuition and still more by deduction. (Empiricists) agree, (that we can) know by intuition that our concept of God includes our concept of eternal existence. Rationalists, such as Descartes, have claimed that we can know by intuition and deduction that God exists and created the world, that our mind and body are distinct substances, and that the angles of a triangle equal two right angles, where all of these claims are truths about an external reality independent of our thought.

Descartes claims that knowledge requires certainty and that certainty about the external world is beyond what empirical evidence can provide. We can never be sure our sensory impressions are not part of a dream or a massive, demon orchestrated, deception. Only intuition and deduction can provide the certainty needed for knowledge, and, given that we have some substantive knowledge of the external world, the Intuition/Deduction thesis is true.”

I’ve been chewing on this all morning. My teenage son frequently asks me, “How can we KNOW anything with certainty? How do we KNOW that everything we believe is not a dream or a figment of our imagination?”

Can we know anything without experiencing it or sensing it? Is there intuitive knowledge, a priori knowledge, built into us by God that we just need to be reminded of? Like birds that know where to fly for the winter, or salmon that swim upstream without any experience, do we humans have instinctual knowledge? Can we build on these intuitive truths by deduction?

I think so… 
        (you know you’re a nerd, if you get the irony in that statement ;-)

“Cogito ergo sum” -- Descartes

The Incredible Nerd

Of all the Marvel comic book heroes, I identify the most with the Incredible Hulk. For those of you who are not familiar with this character, here is a brief description. A mild mannered physicist named Dr. Bruce Banner involuntarily changes into ‘the Hulk’, a huge green monster, at random times. Unlike the other superheroes, the Hulk tends to scare people away.

Sometimes I feel like the Hulk. There are parts of me that scare people away. I would rather keep these parts under wraps. Most of the time, I try to project an image of a fun, worldly, fashionable, non-threatening, feminine woman. However, at random times the disguise disintegrates and out comes my alter ego, ‘The Incredible Nerd’!

Most of my close friends have seen this side of me. My nerd power is at its strongest early in the morning. I try to stay away from other humans during this time of day. By the evening, I’m pretty much brain dead. I can’t even write properly after 7pm. I usually fall asleep by 10pm.

As I get older, I’m learning to embrace the weirdness within me and to find friends who accept me for who I am. I’m also learning to regulate the Incredible Nerd… well, sort of…

Facebook and Marriage

Recently, I read an article online titled, “Does Facebook Wreck Marriages?”

"More than 80% of U.S. divorce attorneys say they've seen a rise in the number of cases involving social networking."  (http://money.msn.com/family-money/article.aspx?post=40f71256-a9fc-42b5-b117-84997cde08b1 )

Of course, I had to post this on my Facebook page! I started my FB account a few years ago when my husband started one. We’ve always had profile pictures of us, as a couple, on both of our pages. We also have each other’s log-ins and passwords. Despite all of this, I have always felt uneasy about social networking. There are some advantages to Facebook. You can keep in touch with far- away cousins and see pictures of their children as they grow. It’s a great way to find out things about people you just met, too.

The disadvantages of social networking far outweigh the positives. None of us would type up a daily flyer and put it up on a bulletin board at the grocery store for everyone to see. Facebook is the equivalent of a bulletin board that is open to the whole world! It allows virtual strangers to share in our private lives, creates a false sense of intimacy, and cracks the door open for intruders.

One of my Facebook friends has been posting quotes that suggest she is discontent with her life and marriage. She probably thinks she is being subtle, just re-posting quotes she sees on other people’s walls. Yet, it sends out signals that her defenses are weak.

I guess blogging is not much better. I’m publishing my daily thoughts for all to see. How can I benefit from advances in technology and at the same time protect the sanctity of my marriage, my family, my real relationships?

______

Frontal Lobe Development

Recently, my husband reminded me that the frontal lobes of young people are not fully developed until around age 25. This led me to read up on the functions of the prefrontal cortex:
-Focusing attention
-Organizing thoughts and problem solving
-Foreseeing and weighing possible consequences of behavior
-Considering the future and making predictions
-Forming strategies and planning
-Ability to balance short-term rewards with long term goals
-Shifting/adjusting behavior when situations change
-Impulse control and delaying gratification
-Modulation of intense emotions
-Inhibiting inappropriate behavior and initiating appropriate behavior
-Simultaneously considering multiple streams of information when faced  with complex and challenging information

This brain region gives an individual the capacity to exercise “good judgment” when presented with difficult life situations. (Walsh D. Why do they act that way? A survival guide to the adolescent brain for you and your teen. New York: Free Press. 2004.)
I found the above list enlightening. So many of the issues that we associate with adolescence can be explained by this delayed maturation. However, most of us expect adult behavior and judgment from young people over 21. We might make some concessions when they are under 18, but we expect them to be independent, responsible adults much before the age of 25. Many young adults live away from home, make career and college choices that will affect their entire lives, fight wars in foreign countries, get married, and have children. Those who have not reached these milestones by 25 are deemed immature and somehow deficient. We, as a society, need to rethink our expectations of young adults. We need to give them some extra time while their prefrontal cortex fully develops. We need to be patient as they get their act together.

Whack-A-Fear

“But when I am afraid,
I will put my trust in you.” (Ps. 56:3 NLT)

This verse doesn’t say, “I won’t be afraid, because I trust You.” It says When I’m afraid… This makes me feel better, because I do get afraid. Unfortunately, my automatic reaction to fear is worry. I wish I could confront fear with trust.

I like playing the Whack-a-Mole game at arcades and fairs. This game consists of a table-top with plastic moles that pop up randomly out of holes. You have to hit them on the head with a mallet for points. There are internet versions of this game, but hitting a keyboard key doesn’t give you the same satisfaction as using a mallet!

I wish I could whack my fears on the head as soon as they pop up. My weapon against fear is Trust in God. I expect that fears will keep popping up, one after another, from random sources. Yet with my TRUSTY mallet, I would whack them as soon as they reared their annoying heads above the surface.

“Hit their enemies where it hurts the most; strike down their foes so they never rise again." (Deuteronomy 33:11 NLT)

Abundance Without Interference

“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow without laboring or weaving.” (Matt. 6:28, Aramaic Bible in Plain English)

I seem to be in a horticulture mood these days. It’s hard not to notice nature and its life lessons this time of year.

I planted some roses in my back flower beds a few years ago. Every fall, I pruned them down to about a foot from the ground and dumped a bag of mulch on them. I’d read somewhere that you have to do this to roses before winter. Every spring, I cut off the branches that looked damaged and put special fertilizer around the base. Every year, I’d gripe about all the thorns on these roses and how high maintenance these plants were. Last fall, I decided I was done babying these plants. I left them alone. To my surprise, this year the blooms are more prolific than ever before.

I wonder how many other areas of my life could benefit from being left alone. I’m always afraid of neglecting my responsibilities. Therefore, I tend to micromanage every detail. A bit of space and time might allow for more growth. Sometimes I forget to account for God’s contribution to every situation.

Right now, I’m anxious about several things that are coming up. The less control I have in any given situation, the more worried I get. The level of manic panic I feel is inversely proportional to my trust in God.

These roses, flowering in bunches, without any meddling on my part, remind me of the following truth: God’s providential grace can yield abundance regardless of my interference.

Rootless Corn Syndrome

I recently heard about rootless corn syndrome, a disease that is affecting the corn crops this year. Corn plants have an initial (seminal) root that anchors the young seedling and provides it with nutrients and water until the secondary nodal roots appear. The nodal roots provide the majority of water and nutrients to the plant after it sprouts. Under dry soil conditions, these nodal roots fail to develop properly. A young plant that appears to be healthy and thriving one day can be found flopped over on the next day. Adequate rainfall can help them recover and become productive plants, but they never reach their maximum potential.

I can’t help but see the parallel between floppy corn seedlings and rootless young people.

“Since they don’t have deep roots, they believe for a while, then they fall away when they face temptation.” (Luke 8:12-14 NLT)

Some children, who seem to have great potential in their early stages, seem to wilt as teenagers. They don’t develop their own nodal roots to anchor and sustain themselves for the long run. As parents, we can only be the initial root that provides nourishment for a short period of time. The development of the secondary roots and the environmental conditions during this stage are largely out of our hands. However, we must not give up hope that they will recover and become productive, functional, human beings. I pray that God’s grace will pour down at the right pace to encourage stability and growth in these young lives.

“Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” (Colossians 2:6-8 NLT)

Grand Canyon

My son recently asked me, “How do you know that there is a God?”

Spiritual mysteries are best explained through metaphors. So I reminded him of our visit to the Grand Canyon. Although we had seen pictures and videos and heard and read other people’s descriptions of this place, nothing could prepare us for the immensity of this wonder. We couldn’t understand its depth and magnitude until we experienced it for ourselves.

There are different ways to experience the Grand Canyon. One summer, my aunt drove several days to visit the Grand Canyon. Once she got there, she stepped out of her van, spent five minutes looking over the edge, and then escaped to the comfort of the air- conditioned gift shop. I’ve known others who fly over the canyon in a helicopter. But I’m most fascinated by those who live on the canyon floor. I would really like to explore and learn with these people. I bet, you could be there a lifetime and still not have experienced every nook and cranny of this marvelous place.

I have been to the edge of God. I can’t explain this wonder. I want to experience more, so I seek out those who live in deeper intimacy with Him. Great thinkers who write about their experiences are my guides. Loyal servants, who live daily within the crevices of God, are my role models.

Gift of Languages

“And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other languages, as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability. At that time there were devout Jews from every nation living in Jerusalem. When they heard the loud noise, everyone came running, and they were bewildered to hear their own languages being spoken by the believers.” (Acts 2:4-5 NLT)

I have heard people ‘speak in tongues’. I confess that I’m always a bit freaked-out when people do this. So, I’ve never desired this ability for myself. Instead, what I would like is the ‘gift of languages’. An ability to communicate with others in words, phrases, references and analogies that they understand.

I wish I could speak in the language of skeptics, agnostics, teenagers, senior citizens, burdened men, and wounded women. Every person has his own specialized, individualized language. I wish I had the gift to speak to each person with customized words that bring enlightenment, hope, faith, and peace.

Lung Capacity

When I first started running several years ago, I would have a hard time breathing after a mile or so. I’d give up and tell myself that running was just not meant for me.

After several failed attempts, I discovered that if I jogged slowly and built up my distance over time, I didn’t feel as miserable. Now that my lung capacity has increased, running is my favorite physical activity. Ever since I heard that people who live in high altitudes develop increased lung capacity, I’ve been wanting to move to a mountainous area.

I wonder if spiritual capacity is similar to lung capacity.  Can it be improved over time with concentrated practice? When I first started spending time with God, I could only take a few minutes of it before I felt bored and distracted. Now I enjoy this time more and more and try to find ways to extend it. In due time, I hope to move to a higher place, where I can breathe in unlimited amounts of pure, life-giving spirit.

“With many such parables He used to speak the Message to them according to their capacity for receiving it.” (Mark 4:33 Weymouth New Testament)