Craydar

“When you see crazy coming, cross the street.” (Iyanla Vanzant)

Some people can sense craziness within the first encounter with someone. They sense the underlying instability and steer clear. Others may sense that something seems a bit off, but they ignore these instincts and stick around. Initially, unstable individuals can seem entertaining, laid back, spontaneous, and easily fixable.

Craydar is an internal radar that detects craziness  as soon as it approaches. (Word origin--from  cray cray--meaning crazy to the second power.) Some people have a built-in craydar. As soon as they sense a high level of craziness coming, they try to get away from it. They don’t stick around and get sucked up into the vortex of drama, chaos, and instability.

If you don’t have a good craydar, it can be developed. Think back on previous relationships that, in hindsight, were obvious lapses in judgment. There were signs that the cracks ran deep and you might get trapped in them. But you made excuses to hang around. Learn from these prior experiences--recognize early warning signs of deep instability that is beyond your ability to repair. Cross the street; walk in the opposite direction; steer clear.

(cont.)

To Know and Be Known

“Knowledge, biblically, is interactive relationship with what is known.” (Dallas Willard)

Most of us know of God, but we don’t know Him. In order to know God, we must have an intimate, interactive relationship with Him.

Interactive relationships change us. There is a transformation in our attitude, perspective, decisions, and eventually our actions. If I spend an hour in prayer, Bible study, church, etc., and I come away without being influenced by God, then I have not communed with Him. I may have connected with my own thoughts or with other people--but not with God.

It’s like the difference between walking on a treadmill versus walking with my friend outside on a beautiful day. Both provide exercise and movement. Yet, the interaction with my friend and with nature transform me in ways that the treadmill cannot.  

I don’t want to waste time anymore. I want to know God, to interact with Him, to be influenced by Him, to be transformed by Him.

Afternoon Swim

Light is refracted as it enters water. A straw in a glass of water displays the principle of refraction. The straw is not bent, just our perception of it. As Truth enters this world from above, it looks a bit askew. It’s not that Truth is distorted, just our earthly perception of it.

The word eternal means always existing. Yet most of us think of eternal life as something that hasn’t started yet. I think of temporal life--this earthly life--as just a small segment of eternal life.

It’s as if I went for an afternoon swim. Under water, my vision is blurred. I can’t breathe. It takes effort to move forward. I am not meant to live under water. I come up for air. I was created for life above--where I am in synergy with the Spirit who is around me and within me. Even though I’m not done with my swim, I can take breaks. Sometimes I just tread water and breathe. Other times, I just float, face up--basking in the light and warmth. When I am finished with this swim, I shall rest on the shore--breathing easily, seeing clearly, interacting intimately with the One who waits for me.

Head Above Water

When we are immersed in trials, how can we keep from feeling overwhelmed?

“While a man’s head is above water, he cannot be drowned.” (C.H. Spurgeon)

“None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us.” (Romans 8:37 MSG)

My body may be surrounded by earthly concerns, but, if I can keep my mind in the presence of God, inhaling the Holy Spirit, exhaling trust--I won’t drown.

“Well-formed love banishes fear.” (1 John 4:18 MSG)

The love I feel must be half-baked--because it is mixed with agitation, panic, worry, and bossiness.

Fear and anxiety are like lead weights that pull my entire being down, whereas God’s well-formed love is like a floating log that I can hang on to. It helps me keep my head above water.

Who Am I?

“You have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit...” (Rom. 8:15 NLT)

Who am I?

Am I a fearful slave who is controlled by the expectations of others? Thus far, my image has been molded by those around me. It’s hard to differentiate my true identity from the roles that I play: dutiful daughter, devoted wife, loving mom, loyal friend, hard worker. I have chosen these roles, because this is who I desire to be. Plus, I don’t want to disappoint any of my loved ones.

“God’s Spirit touches our spirit and confirms who we really are.” (Rom 8:16 MSG)

Lord, help me to recognize Your confirmations of my true purpose and identity.  Show me how to be the person that You created me to be.

The Pope and the Janitor

Can low-profile individuals be significant?

Take, for example, the Pope and a janitor. The current Pope is charismatic, influential, and inspiring to millions of people. A janitor may notice that one employee’s trash can shows signs that he/she is struggling and needs a friend. The Pope cannot go anywhere without a crowd following him. His personal ministry is limited. Whereas, a janitor can reach out to  an individual without much fanfare. Both roles are significant in their own way.

The New Testament has its share of celebrity apostles, but it also mentions a few low-profile disciples. Stephen and Philip are two such examples (Acts Chapters 7 & 8). They show us how to be effective, covert operatives.

Philip goes wherever the Spirit leads him, does what he is meant to do, and leaves the premises before the public acknowledges his contributions. He fills in wherever he is needed. He is reassigned frequently, always on-call, with neither title nor recognition.

Stephen reminds us of the truth. We cannot be self-absorbed and be absorbed by God. He shows us how to look past our earthly circumstances and focus on God.

I believe that God calls each of us to fill in wherever He needs us. Unlike Stephen and Philip, I tend to get exasperated easily. Sometimes, when I feel overwhelmed by the problems of this world, I can’t even find the words to pray. All I can manage is a wordless supplication, a silent moan, a sigh of submission. I exhale the name of Jesus.

Using Our Power

We have power over very few things in life. Yet, we rarely exercise the powers that we have; instead, we expend more energy trying to control things that are beyond our power.

Things I have some power over--When I go to sleep, how much water I drink, what I eat, whether I exercise or not, how I spend my discretionary time. My choices, reactions, and attitude.

Things I have little or no power over--When I wake up. (I have sleep issues that make me wake up in the middle of the night. I could take sleep medication, but I choose not to.) My adult son’s safety and his future. External circumstances. Natural disasters. Suffering. Other people’s choices, reactions, and attitude.

Instead of doing the things that are within my power to do, I waste my energy worrying about the things I cannot do!

“What lies in our power to do, it lies in our power not to do.” (Aristotle)

“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.” (Aristotle)

If we have the power to worry, we also have the power NOT to worry. Doubt keeps us in bondage; it drains energy and determination. Let us act on the power we have, and trust God to take care of the things that are beyond our power.

Time and Energy Audit

Any activity where the expenditure outweighs the benefits is a drain on our resources. The last several posts have been about finances. In this post, I would like to delve into things that drain our time and energy.  

We all have the same 24 hours in a day, but we all choose to spend these hours in different ways. Most of us would agree that we could be more efficient and intentional in how we expend our time and energy.

Most evenings I drift off to sleep wondering: Where did all the time go? Why am I so exhausted? I decided to do a time/energy audit. I set an hourly alarm. Every hour, I wrote down what I had done in the last hour. I also monitored my energy levels. I noticed that keeping track of my day made me more conscious.

Knowing that I was going to have to write down how I spent each precious hour made me reluctant to engage in many of my usual distractions: online surfing, worrying about things I have no control over, eating high calorie foods that would take me hours of exercise to burn off, etc. By holding myself accountable, I realized that several hours of my day were wasted on busywork without much long-term purpose.

Try this experiment: pick one day when you have some discretionary time and do a time and energy audit. It will help you decide if your expenditures of time and energy are beneficial or just merely draining.

Money Holes

“You have planted much but harvest little. You eat but are not satisfied. You drink but are still thirsty. You put on clothes but cannot keep warm. Your wages disappear as though you were putting them in pockets filled with holes!” (Haggai 1:6 NLT)

Money holes drain our resources without bringing much long-term satisfaction. Certain kinds of habits, purchases, ideas, commitments, and relationships can bleed us dry. Some holes are imperceptible. They drain us slowly. Others are obvious gaping pits that are difficult to climb out of. Here are a few BIG money holes that I have either observed or personally experienced:

Debt

A bigger house

Living in an affluent neighborhood

Timeshares

Second homes

Boats

Addictions and obsessions

A taste for high-end merchandise

Investments that are not thoroughly understood

Multi-Level Marketing--Avon, Tupperware, Herbalife, etc.

Get-Rich-Quick seminars

Whole life insurance

Commission-based financial advisors

Expensive vacations

Being a foodie or wine aficionado

Some people have made their beds in money holes. Even hanging around with these people can prod you into a pit. On the other hand, those who are transparent about their mistakes can help you avoid them.

“A wise man learns by the experience of others. An ordinary man learns by his own experience. A fool learns by nobody’s experience.” (Anonymous)

Smart Spenders

“A fool and his money are soon parted.” (English Proverb)

Sales people are trained to spot suckers. When potential customers walk in wearing expensive items, it’s a sign that they can be convinced to part with their money. When I see a woman with a purse that costs ten times more than the average purse, I don’t think she is  wealthy or has a high sense of fashion. It’s more likely that she is easily manipulated by the opinions of others.

A smart spender is not likely to be duped into paying extra just because of a brand logo. They are able to judge each purchase  on its own merit. I’ve heard people claim that they are willing to pay extra for something because it will last longer. Yet, most of us are ready to get new things before the previous one has stopped functioning.

What if you are a smart spender but receive an expensive gift that implies otherwise? This has happened to me. I am reluctant to wear or use expensive gifts in public. I don’t like being targeted by salespeople. As far as I’m concerned, anything that announces that I am willing to pay more than average merely makes me look like a chump. The only people who are impressed by ostentatious displays of wealth are other dumb spenders.

Empty Riches

“Let them no longer fool themselves by trusting in empty riches, for emptiness will be their only reward.” (Job 15:31 NLT)

If the economy crashed next week, what would we need to take care of our loved ones? Gold or cash would not be of much value without an economy. We would need food, water, health, and basic survival skills to take care of physical needs. We would need hope, courage, love, and security to feed our souls.

The world economy depends on a herd mentality.  Most of us are too busy--pursuing, accumulating, and accomplishing--to think about the value of what we are chasing.

Thoreau is one of my heroes. He figured out how to be satisfied with less. He found meaning and purpose without succumbing to societal standards. He wrote thoughtfully. He lived intentionally.

“A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to leave alone.” (Henry David Thoreau)

What can I leave alone?  What can I live without?

Multiple Hats

(Acts Study)

How can we focus on our primary purpose when we have too much to do? In the Book of Acts, the Apostles were faced with this same dilemma. As the demands on their time and energy increased, they came up with a strategy to stay focused on what was important.

“We’ll stick to our assigned tasks...” (Acts 6:4 MSG)

I wonder why the Apostles weren’t better at multitasking. Why did they delegate administrative and service duties to others? Maybe because they were men!

Most women I know would consider themselves a failure if they didn’t try to take on several roles at once. I’ve seen t-shirts with the message “MOM--Master of Multitasking” printed on them. We imagine that doing one thing at a time is inefficient and lazy. We play multiple roles at the same time. We spread ourselves so thin that we become ineffective in all of them.

“Multitasking means screwing several things up at once.” (Unknown)

I’m familiar with this sort of multitasking--screwing up several things at once. I have committed to more than I can handle, because I wanted to be like the other women I admired--everything to everybody. Upon closer inspection, I realized that this was an illusion--and I was one of those women who was propagating this myth. So here is my confession:

I can play multiple roles at the same time, but not well.

These days, I try to simplify, clarify, and streamline my roles. I attempt to distill everything down to its essence. I focus on my primary purpose. I try to deflect the daily diversions--especially the siren call to do more and be more. I am never certain that I’m on the right path or pace. Yet, I press on, focusing on the One.

Listophilia

The word listophilia is not in the dictionary (but it should be). Listophilia is a love for list making. I am a self-professed listophiliac. Of course I have the usual lists that most people keep around: to-do list, packing lists, grocery list, menu list, life-maintenance list, contact list, emergency-evacuation-procedure list, health-information list, financial-account-numbers-and-passwords list, birthday list, prayer list, gratitude list, store-deals list, etc. I also love to make lists about things that are only significant to me: favorite-books list, ways-I-like-to-relax list, things-I-find-enriching list, my-favorite-characteristics-in-people list, permanent-grudge list, deal-breaker list, 5-minute-chore list, free-fun list etc.

My-favorite-list-making-tools/supplies list: paper and pencil, skin and pen (forearm or palm is best) smartphone, laptop, printer, mnemonics (to help me remember mental lists) Google drive, Google-Keep app.

List making allows me to organize and inventory my thoughts. It gives me the same satisfaction as cleaning out my closet or reorganizing my kitchen drawers. Even when I’m really busy, angry, or exhausted, making lists--of why I’m busy, angry, and exhausted, and what I can do about it--seems to make me feel better. List making can be soothing. It can bring clarity and order to chaos. So next time you feel overwhelmed, make a list!

Transformation

I wish I had the power to change the world, but I can’t even change myself. However, this doesn’t prevent me from trying to influence others. I’ve discovered  that, although temporary change can be brought about by external influences, complete metamorphosis requires internal struggle and growth.

In a previous post, I have referred to the story about a butterfly who ended up with deformed wings because a well-intentioned person tried to help it by opening up its cocoon. According to this story, struggle is part of the maturation process, and trying to bypass it can result in stunted growth.

Recently, I came across some online videos on butterfly care. It showed how to relocate a chrysalis to a sheltered spot; how to feed butterflies with sugar water; how to repair butterfly wings using clear tape, glue, or even bits of cardboard. I was amazed to discover that there are people out there who took time and effort to care for butterflies. This makes me wonder if there are ways to nurture and care for those who are still weak without interfering with their growth.

“Ask God to help you find the perfect balance of being loving, but not smothering; encouraging, but not indulging; concerned, but not critical; caring, but not controlling; building up, but not overbearing; supportive, but not disabling. Only God can help you walk this sensitive line.” (The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children, by Stormie Omartian)

Tragic Heroine

According to Aristotle, a tragic hero is "a [great] man who is neither a paragon of virtue and justice nor undergoes the change to misfortune through any real badness or wickedness but because of some mistake." (Poetics, by Aristotle)

It’s tempting to see ourselves as a tragic hero/heroine.

We are basically good--but not perfect, well-intentioned--but with a few flaws. Of course we have made mistakes, who hasn’t? Some people just get lucky despite their human flaws. We could do great things, if it weren’t for our external circumstances/fate.

Imagining ourselves in the role of the tragic hero/heroine allows us to feel less responsible for whatever happens. It enables us to indulge in self-pity as well as seek sympathy from others. It permits us to disengage from taking ownership for our choices.

“Everywhere man blames nature and fate; yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passion, his mistakes and his weaknesses.” (Democritus)

If we acknowledge that our external circumstances are influenced by our character, passion, mistakes, and weaknesses--then we realize that our decisions play a big part in our destiny. This can be a frightening revelation. It can also be empowering. Every choice, big or small, that we make today can change the trajectory of our story. It can also impact the lives of those around us. So let us lay aside this role of tragic heroine. Instead, let us become empowered heroines who take responsibility for the effects of our choices and actions.

Expressing the Holy

(Acts Study)

The first two chapters of the Book of Acts describe God’s Holy Spirit within us. Many churches use these chapters to emphasize the ‘gift of speaking in tongues’--or glossolalia. I have been around people who practice glossolalia--but this has not helped me understand God or anything else. Instead of bringing spiritual understanding, for me, it has led to spiritual confusion.

I have a good friend who was inculcated with the belief that speaking in tongues was a sign of the Holy Spirit’s presence. Conversely, she presumes that the lack of this ability indicates the absence of God’s Spirit. Over the years, this friend has told me how often she has wished for this gift of speaking in tongues. However, her words and actions have nudged me closer to God than any practitioner of glossolalia. She has expressed the Holy Spirit to me in ways I can understand. She has influenced me to follow Christ instead of following the crowd. She has taught me, by example, how to be be more receptive to God’s Spirit.

When we are infused with the Holy Spirit, we are able to express God in ways that others understand. When we are receptive to God’s Spirit, we are filled with power, boldness, confidence, discernment, and the peace and joy that comes from His presence.

Separate Lanes

When someone has hurt us deeply, how can we forgive and move forward?

Forgiving is not the same as forgetting or excusing someone’s behavior. In The Language of Letting Go, Melody Beattie describes healthy forgiveness as forgiveness with boundaries: “Not the kind that invites that person to use us again, but a forgiveness that releases the other person and sets him or her free to walk a separate path, while releasing our anger and resentments. That sets us free to walk our own path.”

Healthy forgiveness does not invite abuse. It acknowledges the validity of the pain, while recognizing that it was in the past. Now, we walk a separate path--no longer the path of victimhood--but of recovery.

Forgiveness with boundaries can be difficult between people who share a home or are dependent on each other. It is much more challenging to cultivate healthy forgiveness with a spouse than it is with friends, siblings, parents, or adult children who no longer live with you. Developing a separate path requires physical and emotional space.

Releasing anger and resentment is the first step in healthy forgiveness. Then, we must establish boundaries--taking ownership for only our part, while letting others take responsibility for their parts. You may still be traveling alongside those who have hurt you. If so, carve out some physical and emotional space by staying in your own lane.

Sista Code

Many of you may have heard of the ‘bro-code’-- a list of unwritten rules for male friends. I have been looking for an equivalent code for women. I have found a few lists online that are meant for single twenty-somethings--but I am a middle-aged, married mother. Most of my close friends are of the same demographic. These women are more than just friends; they are like sisters to me. Here is my version of a code of conduct for Sista-friends.

You should never let a Sista self-destruct.

If a Sista is in a real crisis, you should plan to be available.

Always keep an emergency kit ready for above-mentioned crisis--supplies may include but are not limited to: chocolate, Kleenex, and Adele CDs.

A Sista may cancel/postpone a scheduled meeting with a friend if it involves the welfare of her kids or husband.

When a Sista vents about her husband or child, you can agree with her--but, don’t add fuel to the fire.

Sista secrets should be kept confidential.

You are obligated to tell your Sista when she looks ridiculous. You must do this in private. If she is already out in public, and it’s too late to change, then you must stand up for your Sista and announce to everybody that this is the new trend and that she is just ahead of her time.

Stories about your children’s accomplishments, activities, etc. should be kept to a minimum. However, if your kid is struggling, feel free to talk about that.

If your husband bought you a nice gift, don’t flaunt it in front of your Sista--especially if she hasn’t received nice gifts in a while.

Check up on your Sista regularly. This can be done in person or through electronic communication.

Respond to check-up calls, texts, emails, etc. within a reasonable time period.

Keep your Sista updated about your life.

When meeting a Sista in person after more than a two-week gap, you should give her a hug and an honest appraisal of her appearance.

Although most female acquaintances may accompany you to a public restroom, only a Sista will offer to come along to stressful appointments where you might have to face bad news.

You should offer to let your Sista borrow your special-occasion clothes or shoes that may fit her. It is also recommended that you let your Sista go through your Goodwill donation bag before you take it in.

Do not question your Sista’s dedication as a parent.

If you live within driving distance of your Sista, you should never let her spend her birthday alone.

It is acceptable to remind a Sista’s husband of her birthday and their anniversary.

You should share lessons you’ve learned from uncomfortable/painful life experiences with your Sista--including details about childbirth, mammograms, colonoscopies, depression, infidelity, foreclosures, bankruptcies, addictions, divorce, etc.

If you know for sure that your Sista’s husband is being unfaithful, you must let her know.  

You should never flirt with your Sista’s husband.

You are allowed to be bitchy to anyone who disrespects your Sista.

Circle of Friends

I’ve always thought of myself as a good judge of character.  So, of course, I would select wonderful friends--who would bring out the best in me. Or, at least I thought I was the one picking...

"Friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.” (C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves)

I realize, now, that all my good friendships have been providential. Chance encounters, common phases, perfect timing, shared pain--none of these were coincidences. We were placed next to each other and nudged to interaction by a Teacher who knew we would be good for each other. Sometimes, I followed these inner promptings and opened up to potential friends. Other times, I ignored these new people and stuck with familiar companions. Often, I would not want to expend the energy required to start and maintain friendships--this led to many relationships that stagnated at the companionship level.

These days, I have several circles of friends. I like to think of them as small separate gardens--with walkways in between. Although I have a few one-on-one friendships, I prefer a circle of three. This allows for checks and balances--preventing my personal biases from unduly influencing a friend. It also allows us to support each other from different angles.

“ In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets.”(C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves)

I am fortunate to be encircled by several wonderful, wise, enlightened friends. Some days, I am a bit awed that they are a part of my life. I know I don’t deserve them, nor can I repay them for their investment in me. So, I just soak in the blessing of their love. 

“In a perfect Friendship this Appreciative love is, I think, often so great and so firmly based that each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before the rest. Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters. He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company. Especially when the whole group is together; each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others. (C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves)

Friends vs. Companions

Companionship can be a precursor to friendship. Companions are people whose company we enjoy. They might share a common interest, make us laugh, share their experiences, or make our life easier in some way. Some relationships stagnate at this companionship level. A few grow into genuine friendships.  

“Aristotle drew a distinction between genuine friendship and relationships that were based simply on need or pleasure. Such need or pleasure-based friendships lasted only as long as they were useful or enjoyable--what we might call ‘fair-weather friends.’  For Aristotle, friendship is about bringing out what is best in people...being a mirror in which the other may see himself.” (Alistair McGrath)

Friendship can be challenging. It requires a certain level of self-awareness, honesty, and transparency. Genuine friends provide us with an external perspective that may not always be favorable or pleasant. Friends have to be able to trust each other’s judgment, accept criticism, and respect each other’s opinions. Friends have to be more interested in each other’s growth than in personal gain. While companionship is based on need or pleasure, friendship is about bringing out the best in each other. Companions may boost our self-esteem, but friends can mold us into better human beings.

The State of Rest

Rest is difficult for me. I have insomnia--I can only sleep a few hours most nights. I wake up early and try to read and write.  During the day, I keep striving, doing, or thinking. Even when I’m tired, I can’t relax. My body and mind crave rest.

“God himself is at rest. And at the end of the journey we’ll surely rest with God.” (Heb 4:3-7 MSG)

Can we enter into God’s rest during this life on earth?

“That promise of resting in him pulls us on to God’s goal for us...”(4:1-3 MSG)

God has assured us that we will find rest in Him. His goal for us is to become one with Him, find peace in Him. All our striving, struggling, and agonizing results from a lack of confidence in God.

As long as I imagine it’s all up to me, I can’t be still. However, if I can acknowledge that God is in control, and I can have confidence (faith) in Him--then, I can enter into God’s rest.  

Stepping Stones

I am not a competent cyclist. I have fallen several times. Each fall, each bruise, scares me. Although I learned the basics of bicycling a few years ago, I have not practiced enough to feel comfortable riding a bike.  I am a competent runner. I have run thousands of miles around the gravel roads near my home. Recently, I tried to bike around this familiar path. All I could see were the obstacles in my way: loose gravel, steep curves, potholes, and approaching cars.

I’m thinking of another obstacle I’m facing right now. I’m having difficulty with letting go of my role as a full-time parent. This has been my identity for most of my adult life. It’s a role that makes me feel competent, relevant, and righteous. Yet, my reluctance to let go is becoming an obstacle.

How can I turn obstacles such as this one into stepping stones?

Somehow, the insurmountable obstacles have to be broken down into surmountable stepping stones. I need to approach these big boulders with the right attitude--not with fear, but with boldness and determination. Finding a way around obstructions can seem like the easier path--but avoidance merely reinforces our fears. We must scale these boulders, chip away at them from different angles, drill holes in them, break them into manageable pieces--gaining strength, agility, discipline, and awareness as we progressively break these obstacles into manageable pieces. Eventually, we become proficient boulder busters. Breaking down every impediment we encounter becomes second nature. What was once an obstacle has been transformed into skills that enable us to overcome challenges, traverse powerful rapids, and climb jagged peaks.

“The block of granite which was an obstacle in the pathway of the weak becomes a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong.” (Thomas Carlyle)

Activating Your Potential

Slingshots are great examples of how potential energy is transformed into kinetic (active) energy. Pulling back the sling creates tension (potential energy) which is then transferred onto the projectile which is launched into action. The potential is dependent on the elasticity of the band and the distance it is pulled back from its relaxed state. Once the projectile is launched, there are various hindrances that could cause a loss of energy: air resistance, collisions with other objects, gravity, etc.

Our potential is increased by our elasticity and how far we are pulled back from our comfort zone. Rigidity can limit potential--and so can a comfortable life. A certain amount of tension and a yielding spirit are necessary to developing potential.

Once launched into an active phase, there are many ways to lose our steam. Worldly gravity, a natural resistance to change, unexpected life events, and collisions with other people can all divert us.

Transforming your potential into actions requires tension, pressure, and stretching. The more you are pulled back--the greater the force with which you are propelled--the more you are able to cut through the inevitable barriers.