Sista Code

Many of you may have heard of the ‘bro-code’-- a list of unwritten rules for male friends. I have been looking for an equivalent code for women. I have found a few lists online that are meant for single twenty-somethings--but I am a middle-aged, married mother. Most of my close friends are of the same demographic. These women are more than just friends; they are like sisters to me. Here is my version of a code of conduct for Sista-friends.

You should never let a Sista self-destruct.

If a Sista is in a real crisis, you should plan to be available.

Always keep an emergency kit ready for above-mentioned crisis--supplies may include but are not limited to: chocolate, Kleenex, and Adele CDs.

A Sista may cancel/postpone a scheduled meeting with a friend if it involves the welfare of her kids or husband.

When a Sista vents about her husband or child, you can agree with her--but, don’t add fuel to the fire.

Sista secrets should be kept confidential.

You are obligated to tell your Sista when she looks ridiculous. You must do this in private. If she is already out in public, and it’s too late to change, then you must stand up for your Sista and announce to everybody that this is the new trend and that she is just ahead of her time.

Stories about your children’s accomplishments, activities, etc. should be kept to a minimum. However, if your kid is struggling, feel free to talk about that.

If your husband bought you a nice gift, don’t flaunt it in front of your Sista--especially if she hasn’t received nice gifts in a while.

Check up on your Sista regularly. This can be done in person or through electronic communication.

Respond to check-up calls, texts, emails, etc. within a reasonable time period.

Keep your Sista updated about your life.

When meeting a Sista in person after more than a two-week gap, you should give her a hug and an honest appraisal of her appearance.

Although most female acquaintances may accompany you to a public restroom, only a Sista will offer to come along to stressful appointments where you might have to face bad news.

You should offer to let your Sista borrow your special-occasion clothes or shoes that may fit her. It is also recommended that you let your Sista go through your Goodwill donation bag before you take it in.

Do not question your Sista’s dedication as a parent.

If you live within driving distance of your Sista, you should never let her spend her birthday alone.

It is acceptable to remind a Sista’s husband of her birthday and their anniversary.

You should share lessons you’ve learned from uncomfortable/painful life experiences with your Sista--including details about childbirth, mammograms, colonoscopies, depression, infidelity, foreclosures, bankruptcies, addictions, divorce, etc.

If you know for sure that your Sista’s husband is being unfaithful, you must let her know.  

You should never flirt with your Sista’s husband.

You are allowed to be bitchy to anyone who disrespects your Sista.