Circle of Friends

I’ve always thought of myself as a good judge of character.  So, of course, I would select wonderful friends--who would bring out the best in me. Or, at least I thought I was the one picking...

"Friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.” (C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves)

I realize, now, that all my good friendships have been providential. Chance encounters, common phases, perfect timing, shared pain--none of these were coincidences. We were placed next to each other and nudged to interaction by a Teacher who knew we would be good for each other. Sometimes, I followed these inner promptings and opened up to potential friends. Other times, I ignored these new people and stuck with familiar companions. Often, I would not want to expend the energy required to start and maintain friendships--this led to many relationships that stagnated at the companionship level.

These days, I have several circles of friends. I like to think of them as small separate gardens--with walkways in between. Although I have a few one-on-one friendships, I prefer a circle of three. This allows for checks and balances--preventing my personal biases from unduly influencing a friend. It also allows us to support each other from different angles.

“ In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets.”(C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves)

I am fortunate to be encircled by several wonderful, wise, enlightened friends. Some days, I am a bit awed that they are a part of my life. I know I don’t deserve them, nor can I repay them for their investment in me. So, I just soak in the blessing of their love. 

“In a perfect Friendship this Appreciative love is, I think, often so great and so firmly based that each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before the rest. Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters. He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company. Especially when the whole group is together; each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others. (C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves)