Separate Lives

Some evenings, I'll ask my family this question: "So, what do you guys want to do tonight?"
My son will answer with a smile: "How about we all do our own thing?"

It's getting harder and harder for us to find stuff that we are all interested in doing together. Soon our son will graduate and have his own life. I've been mentally preparing for his solo flight into the unknown.

I wonder how my husband and I will fare as empty nesters? Will we pour ourselves into our individual interests, jobs, hobbies? Will we have new projects to work on together? I don't want to live like two room mates sharing a home, yet with separate lives. 

When my husband and I are traveling in our own cars, we sometimes get separated even when we are going to the same destination. One of us can get stuck at a stop light, get stuck behind slow traffic or sometimes we just choose different routes. We try to stick close, in case one of us gets in trouble. Who ever is ahead waits for the other one that is behind. Most of the time we just take one car and I let him drive.

I've been talking to some of my friends who are older and wiser and are navigating the "empty nest" phase successfully. Here are some patterns I've noticed: Their nests are not empty. These spouses have a common purpose, people and causes they nurture, joint concerns that they pour themselves into, mutual growth through sacrifice. These couples continue to take care of each other as well as others. They defer to each other, follow each others' dreams. They are traveling in the same vehicle.

I'm grateful to all of you for sharing your wisdom with me.